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"I can't tell anyone I've had an abortion"


Abortion Debate

This forum is for Abortion debate only. If you are highly sensitive about this topic, read at your own discretion.

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View Poll Results: Have you had an abortion and feel you can't tell anyone?
Yes I've had one and "I can't tell anyone I've had an abortion 1 1.16%
I've only told one other person. 9 10.47%
No. I have had an abortion but have been open about it. 9 10.47%
other 7 8.14%
No I haven't had an abortion. 60 69.77%
Voters: 86. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
October 16th, 2006, 11:35 AM
mrobinson
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The idea was so it could be anomonous for anyone who has had an abortion but has kept it secret. I'm sure there are a few here, unfortunately.

Any thoughts?
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  #2  
October 16th, 2006, 11:42 AM
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I've had an abortion and untill recently felt I could tell no one...now I tell people because I hope that my experience can possibly help them if they are struggling with the descision. I'm not proud of what I did but I'm not ashamed of it either. I think it's sad that women feel like they can't tell, because they will be judged for it, but when people run around calling you a murderer, it's hard to come forward.

Good idea Michelle!
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  #3  
October 16th, 2006, 11:54 AM
4wildflowers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I chose "other". I've had an abortion, but only dh, my mom and a few close friends know about it. My dad has no idea, and neither does the rest of my family.
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  #5  
October 16th, 2006, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I've had an abortion and untill recently felt I could tell no one...now I tell people because I hope that my experience can possibly help them if they are struggling with the descision. I'm not proud of what I did but I'm not ashamed of it either. I think it's sad that women feel like they can't tell, because they will be judged for it, but when people run around calling you a murderer, it's hard to come forward.[/b]
I really hope I don't come across as judging you, Rebecca, or anyone else who has had an abortion. I wish there was a way I could explain my beliefs better. That is exactly why I don't use the term "murder" anymore...because I have come to realize that it carries those negative feelings with it (I didn't really think that deep into it before, I just always thought of it as the deliberate and intentional ending of a life)....So, now I use the word "killing" since it CAN be viewed as something less offensive than "murder"....Murder can mean malice was involved, where killing simply means the ending of a life...whether intentional, malicious, accidental, etc., etc.

It probably doesn't come across as clear as I'd like...but I am trying.
[/b][/quote]

Aww Cece you know I love ya! I have never felt judged by you. You are passionate about this subject and I respect that and I appreciate that you have made the choice to not use that word anymore, that is very big of you and much appreciated. I'm more referring to....certain other people here And people in real life as well....
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  #7  
October 17th, 2006, 08:34 AM
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I choose other because I've never had a medical abortion but have used herbel remides for abortion perposes. yet my body does have miscarages a lot when pregnant. Anyone who asks about why I have XYZ in my cabert knows. I don't really say that I've had an abortion because I've never had a medical abortion.
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  #8  
October 17th, 2006, 08:44 AM
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Quote:
I choose other because I've never had a medical abortion but have used herbel remides for abortion perposes. yet my body does have miscarages a lot when pregnant. Anyone who asks about why I have XYZ in my cabert knows. I don't really say that I've had an abortion because I've never had a medical abortion.[/b]
Hmmm...but isn't an "herbal abortion" essentially the same thing? The end result is the same right? (Just wondering because I really don't know anything about them...
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  #9  
October 17th, 2006, 09:00 AM
chlodoll
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The results are the same, but I think when you do it by yourself at home you feel more like you are forcing yourself to miscarry opposed to having a medical or surgical abortion.
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  #11  
October 17th, 2006, 09:28 AM
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
Hmmm...but isn't an "herbal abortion" essentially the same thing? The end result is the same right? (Just wondering because I really don't know anything about them...[/b]
....

Quote:
when you do it by yourself at home you feel more like you are forcing yourself to miscarry opposed to having a medical or surgical abortion.[/b]
So would herbal abortions be more on the "level" of m/c or more on the "level" of abortion?

^Honest question.....
[/b][/quote]


Personally I think it's the same thing...and not anything like a miscarraige. A miscarriage to me is the loss of a WANTED pregnancy.

When I first got pregnant I was 3 weeks along they gave me the option of having a medical abortion-basically, a pill that would cause me to miscarry. It would have the same effect basically. I would still consider that to be an abortion...just because it's not a surgical procedure doesn't change the fact that it is terminating a pregnancy. However, I just looked up herbal abortions and it seems like its not a good or safe idea...they only cause an abortion 20-30% of the time and if an abortion does not result there is a high risk for birth defects. There are also serious health problems or death that can result.
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  #12  
October 17th, 2006, 09:36 AM
chlodoll
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If I was purposely falling down the stairs in hopes to lose a baby would I be performing an abortion? Or trying to have a miscarriage?

I totally see what your saying, and I agree aswell. I was just commenting on the previous post.
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  #13  
October 17th, 2006, 10:20 AM
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Quote:
If I was purposely falling down the stairs in hopes to lose a baby would I be performing an abortion? Or trying to have a miscarriage?

I totally see what your saying, and I agree aswell. I was just commenting on the previous post.[/b]
An abortion is the removal or expulsion of an embryo or fetus from the uterus, resulting in, or caused by, its death. This can occur spontaneously as a miscarriage, or be artificially induced through chemical, surgical or other means . Commonly, "abortion" refers to an induced procedure at any point in the pregnancy; medically, it is defined as a miscarriage or induced termination before twenty weeks' gestation, which is considered nonviable.

www.wikipedia.com

So I think technically it is...

Sorry I know I'm a thread hijacker!
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  #15  
October 17th, 2006, 10:27 AM
chlodoll
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I was surprised when I found out doctors use the term abortion for miscarriages. I went for an early u/s and on my results it said that they only saw a sac and probably would lead to a spontaneous abortion (they were wrong) but it totally threw me off!

Back to the OP

I choose Ive had an abortion and have been open with it. I think I have been relatively open with it. There just isnt to much to talk about.
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  #16  
October 17th, 2006, 10:58 AM
irishxrose
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Quote:
I was surprised when I found out doctors use the term abortion for miscarriages. I went for an early u/s and on my results it said that they only saw a sac and probably would lead to a spontaneous abortion (they were wrong) but it totally threw me off![/b]
Wow, I didn't know that they still use that!

I know that when I was having some problems with Joshua early on in my pregnancy, they told me that I was going through a threatened miscarriage, but they said nothing about spontaneous abortion. Hm! You learn something new every day!
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  #17  
October 17th, 2006, 03:31 PM
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Yes it is verry dangourous but I don't feel it should go in the same catigory because the emotions are more like a miscarrage then an abortion. Some of my family knows (my sister and friend told me they were pregnant same day) and anyone who asks. Now I wouldn't wear a I'm not sorry shirt because I feel the abortion proccess is much tougher then an herbal abortion (mainly do to the pro-testers and the teatment of the SO). Sorry I got everyone OT.
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  #18  
October 17th, 2006, 03:45 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
I was surprised when I found out doctors use the term abortion for miscarriages. I went for an early u/s and on my results it said that they only saw a sac and probably would lead to a spontaneous abortion (they were wrong) but it totally threw me off![/b]
Wow, I didn't know that they still use that!

I know that when I was having some problems with Joshua early on in my pregnancy, they told me that I was going through a threatened miscarriage, but they said nothing about spontaneous abortion. Hm! You learn something new every day!
[/b]
You think that is bad....for recurrent loss they use the term "serial aborter" if you are ever so unfortunate as to get alook at your chart.
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  #19  
October 17th, 2006, 03:51 PM
duality's Avatar Miss Mama
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I was surprised when I found out doctors use the term abortion for miscarriages. I went for an early u/s and on my results it said that they only saw a sac and probably would lead to a spontaneous abortion (they were wrong) but it totally threw me off![/b]
Wow, I didn't know that they still use that!

I know that when I was having some problems with Joshua early on in my pregnancy, they told me that I was going through a threatened miscarriage, but they said nothing about spontaneous abortion. Hm! You learn something new every day!
[/b]
You think that is bad....for recurrent loss they use the term "serial aborter" if you are ever so unfortunate as to get alook at your chart.
[/b]
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  #20  
October 19th, 2006, 02:52 AM
Marissa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I was surprised when I found out doctors use the term abortion for miscarriages. I went for an early u/s and on my results it said that they only saw a sac and probably would lead to a spontaneous abortion (they were wrong) but it totally threw me off![/b]
Wow, I didn't know that they still use that!

I know that when I was having some problems with Joshua early on in my pregnancy, they told me that I was going through a threatened miscarriage, but they said nothing about spontaneous abortion. Hm! You learn something new every day!
[/b]
You think that is bad....for recurrent loss they use the term "serial aborter" if you are ever so unfortunate as to get alook at your chart.
[/b]
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