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Abortion Debate

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  #1  
October 27th, 2006, 02:09 PM
mrobinson
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(this thread is a spin-off of this thread.) What's worse? Having a women who has had multiple abortions (and failed relationships) or a woman who has had multiple children and not one stable spouse to rear her kids with?
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  #3  
October 27th, 2006, 02:45 PM
mrobinson
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This thread was spun from the thread that was clearly multiply fathers and mulitple failed relationships.. So lets work on that.

Your questions in that thread were many.
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  #5  
October 27th, 2006, 03:18 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2006
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I think it depends on the functioning of the single mother, if she is stable and provides a nurturing and consistent environment for her kids. Then, that's awesome. However, if she is abusive or neglectful, then I would rather children not be brought in the world to be traumatized again and again.
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  #6  
October 27th, 2006, 03:21 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I think it depends on the functioning of the single mother, if she is stable and provides a nurturing and consistent environment for her kids. Then, that's awesome. However, if she is abusive or neglectful, then I would rather children not be brought in the world to be traumatized again and again.[/b]
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  #7  
October 27th, 2006, 03:34 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
Do we need yet another abortion rant?[/b]
Quote:
Wait...I am confused...I thought that people just suggested that as an option...not an absolute....
So, like would that be the only option, if the bc failed? (I don't understand, I am NOT saying that is what anyone said, I just want clarification).[/b]
[/b][/quote]
Abortion is an option.. it should never be forced.. but the reason for the rant is because so many people don't see it as an option when it should be. Let me put it this way.. a person is only responsible to their responsiblities. How is being in and out of a relationship and dragging kids along from the ride good for a child? Why is the mom doing it and multiplying the problem, teaching their kids these traits? Those are deep scars and that's not mentioning if they are unstable relationships, how that is an abuse damaging a child. On the other hand, without kids, at least she is only hurting herself if she chooses not to deal with her personal demons.

It's a perfect example of you're darned if you do, you're darned if you don't. Sooner or later women have to have the self-esteem and confidence to know what is best for them. By not being afraid to be alone. By not being afraid of making choices that are better for the long run.

Quote:
Quote:
I think it depends on the functioning of the single mother, if she is stable and provides a nurturing and consistent environment for her kids. Then, that's awesome. However, if she is abusive or neglectful, then I would rather children not be brought in the world to be traumatized again and again.[/b]

[/b]
double
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  #8  
October 27th, 2006, 03:58 PM
irishxrose
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Quote:
Quote:
I think it depends on the functioning of the single mother, if she is stable and provides a nurturing and consistent environment for her kids. Then, that's awesome. However, if she is abusive or neglectful, then I would rather children not be brought in the world to be traumatized again and again.[/b]

[/b]
'nother
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  #9  
October 27th, 2006, 04:17 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have known children who grew up with unstable moms & many fathers. I don't think what they suffered is worse than being aborted & I would be shocked if they told me it was. Sure it wasn't good - but my BIL grew up with a mentally ill mother who was psychologically abusive to him & his siblings & attempted suicide numerous times throughout his life. He is a great husband to my sis, a great father to his kids & I am fairly certain he is pretty happy to be alive & wouldn't "undo" it all if he could. It's a bizarre concept to me. He has 8 siblings & I know many of them as they mostly live in the same town I grew up in - and they are all very kind, loving stable people. My own MIL was beaten all her childhood & her father was a terrible drunk who would come home after a binge & wake all 7 kids up & hold them & their mom at gun point until dawn telling them he was going to blow all their heads off & then his own - I KNOW my MIL doesn't wish she didn't live - we have talked at length about this. She is sad her childhood was so hard - but she also tells me lots of great memories of what was good about it & she made a great life for herself once she was out & his entire family on that side are the most wonderful, loving & generous people, I am blessed to have married into that kind of family. I think it is human nature (devoid of chemical imbalance that is) to strive to survive. It is unusual except in cases of severe depression for people to just give up & give in & quit. In the ned - we all usually fight to live - even the depressed person who were to be attacked & for the sake of argument, let's say choked to death - fights back. I say the same for the unborn - I think inherently - it is the nature of life to try to endure & so I think it would be rahter unusual for someone to really believe for any length of time that they would have better off aborted. ( Ido know there are times we all feel like not going on - I remember in my teenage angst once telling my mom "but I didn't choose to be born"...but those were all phases & generally I am happy to be alive and I was even then - I was just too young stupid & ungrateful to realize it.)
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  #10  
October 27th, 2006, 05:49 PM
mrobinson
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<div class=\'quotetop\'>QUOTE(beck12 @ Oct 27 2006, 05:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class=\'quotemain\'>I have known children who grew up with unstable moms & many fathers. I don't think what they suffered is worse than being aborted & I would be shocked if they told me it was. Sure it wasn't good - but my BIL grew up with a mentally ill mother who was psychologically abusive to him & his siblings & attempted suicide numerous times throughout his life. He is a great husband to my sis, a great father to his kids & I am fairly certain he is pretty happy to be alive & wouldn't "undo" it all if he could. It's a bizarre concept to me. He has 8 siblings & I know many of them as they mostly live in the same town I grew up in - and they are all very kind, loving stable people. My own MIL was beaten all her childhood & her father was a terrible drunk who would come home after a binge & wake all 7 kids up & hold them & their mom at gun point until dawn telling them he was going to blow all their heads off & then his own - I KNOW my MIL doesn't wish she didn't live - we have talked at length about this. She is sad her childhood was so hard - but she also tells me lots of great memories of what was good about it & she made a great life for herself once she was out & his entire family on that side are the most wonderful, loving & generous people, I am blessed to have married into that kind of family. I think it is human nature (devoid of chemical imbalance that is) to strive to survive. It is unusual except in cases of severe depression for people to just give up & give in & quit. In the ned - we all usually fight to live - even the depressed person who were to be attacked & for the sake of argument, let's say choked to death - fights back. I say the same for the unborn - I think inherently - it is the nature of life to try to endure & so I think it would be rahter unusual for someone to really believe for any length of time that they would have better off aborted. ( Ido know there are times we all feel like not going on - I remember in my teenage angst once telling my mom "but I didn't choose to be born"...but those were all phases & generally I am happy to be alive and I was even then - I was just too young stupid & ungrateful to realize it.)[/b][/quote]
If people weren't strong, like your describe, we wouldn't be here ~ humans I mean. It's a beautiful post, regardless if I agree or disagree.
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  #11  
October 28th, 2006, 01:21 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,657
Quote:
What's worse? Having a women who has had multiple abortions (and failed relationships) or a woman who has had multiple children and not one stable spouse to rear her kids with?[/b]
Weather you have tons of relationship and no kid or many relationship and many kids. Like anything, If a person fails to many times at something that should be "Normal" they really need to step back and take a look at them selfs. I think as long as a child's loved it can surpass anything.
I think if a parent has instability issues and is unable to see it I feel the people around them need to step in, point out the issue and offer help. As for whether a fetus is better off dead that's up to the parents and what they can and can not handle.
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  #12  
October 29th, 2006, 02:14 AM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
<div class='quotemain'>Do we need yet another abortion rant?[/b]
Quote:
Wait...I am confused...I thought that people just suggested that as an option...not an absolute....
So, like would that be the only option, if the bc failed? (I don't understand, I am NOT saying that is what anyone said, I just want clarification).[/b]
[/b][/quote]
Abortion is an option.. it should never be forced.. but the reason for the rant is because so many people don't see it as an option when it should be. Let me put it this way.. a person is only responsible to their responsiblities. How is being in and out of a relationship and dragging kids along from the ride good for a child? Why is the mom doing it and multiplying the problem, teaching their kids these traits? Those are deep scars and that's not mentioning if they are unstable relationships, how that is an abuse damaging a child. On the other hand, without kids, at least she is only hurting herself if she chooses not to deal with her personal demons.

It's a perfect example of you're darned if you do, you're darned if you don't. Sooner or later women have to have the self-esteem and confidence to know what is best for them. By not being afraid to be alone. By not being afraid of making choices that are better for the long run.


Quote:
Quote:
I think it depends on the functioning of the single mother, if she is stable and provides a nurturing and consistent environment for her kids. Then, that's awesome. However, if she is abusive or neglectful, then I would rather children not be brought in the world to be traumatized again and again.[/b]

[/b]
double
[/b][/quote]

I just fail to see how that situation would be different than a woman giving birth to 5 children to an abusive father and was faced with the decision whether to stay or leave, abort or keep. So is it better that a mom of 5 with one man would abort their 6th child and leave the rest of them to live in that hell than have other men come in and out of their lives because the mom left the first man?

Not ALL of life revolves around men, for women. And not all of life choices revolve around their childhood expriences - sometimes they choose destinies BECAUSE it's the exact opposite of what they experience.
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  #13  
October 29th, 2006, 07:33 AM
mrobinson
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Quote:
I just fail to see how that situation would be different than a woman giving birth to 5 children to an abusive father and was faced with the decision whether to stay or leave, abort or keep.[/b]
It's not. Most people in abusive relationships fall directly back into them. As mothers, we have a responsibilty to learn why we were in an abusive relationship. We need to part of the solution of stopping the cycle of abuse or negative relationships. We need to realize that bringing another child into an unstable environment is wrong.

Quote:
So is it better that a mom of 5 with one man would abort their 6th child and leave the rest of them to live in that hell than have other men come in and out of their lives because the mom left the first man?[/b]
I really don't understand what you are saying here. I don't think any family should live in hell. I think parents lack the personal intergrity to be parents, and responsible human beings ~ treating people they love and strangers with respect. When kids see parents treat each other (loved ones) with anything less, it's no wonder we have so many problems with our society.

Quote:
Not ALL of life revolves around men, for women. And not all of life choices revolve around their childhood expriences - sometimes they choose destinies BECAUSE it's the exact opposite of what they experience.[/b]
I don't understand ~ not all of life revolves around men for women? Where did I say that? However if a man becomes a father, we need them to take responsiblity for it. If we don't we will continue to have many women rely on welfare to raise the kids.. and despite their childhood experiences, that cycle is more likely to repeat. Stat back it. We need to quit being in denial about these realities.
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