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If you were raped


Abortion Debate

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  #1  
October 29th, 2006, 12:31 AM
Super Mommy
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I've wondered this so I'm going to ask. If you were raped decided not to have an abortion, how would you raise your child? Meaning, what would you tell them about their father? What if this causes your child to have psychological issues? What steps would you take then to help your child cope?

I feel sorry for the child that is born due to rape, they deserve better than that. How would you deal with it?

Um...I'm not sure if this goes in the Abortion Thread...sorry if it doesn't fit.
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  #2  
October 29th, 2006, 02:47 AM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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I don't know, honestly. I was raped twice - the first was date rape, the second was a total stranger who totally exploited me while I was drunk.

Had I gotten pregnant from either of those experiences...I can honestly say I'd never have an abortion. Just because the men decided to disregard morals and personal integrity doesn't mean I have to.

Probably, I'd have given the baby up for adoption. I'm not sure I could handle the repercussions of raising a baby conceived in such a horrible way. But if I did decide to keep him or her, I'd make sure that they knew they were loved by me, and that their father's actions in no way should darken their potential at life.
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  #3  
October 29th, 2006, 06:38 AM
crunchymama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Had I gotten pregnant from either of those experiences...I can honestly say I'd never have an abortion. Just because the men decided to disregard morals and personal integrity doesn't mean I have to.[/b]
<Shakes head in agreement.>
I *think* I would keep the baby as long as I knew I would not blame the child or feel hatred for him or her because of what the father had done to me if I didn't think that I could handle those things I would give her up for adoption. I would also take into consideration the feelings of my other kdis though. I think they would be very hurt if I gave one of their siblings awayand I honestly don't believe I could give up my child. Product if rape or not they would still be a part of me.

IN my sitituation my husband would be their father and I know he would love the child just the same as our others. Maybe when they were adult I would tell them the truth but I'm not sure. If I had been a product of rape but raised by a wonderful father I don't think that I would want my mom to tell me the truth.
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  #4  
October 29th, 2006, 07:10 AM
MamaBx3
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Had I gotten pregnant from either of those experiences...I can honestly say I'd never have an abortion. Just because the men decided to disregard morals and personal integrity doesn't mean I have to.[/b]
ITA with this also .
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  #5  
October 29th, 2006, 07:26 AM
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I would take the morning after pill and if for some reason that didn't work, I would get an abortion. If some sick ba$tard took away my rights and my control over my body, you darn well guarentee that I would not let him do it a second time by being forced to carry his child. No way. Call me what you want but that is what I would do.
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  #6  
October 29th, 2006, 08:51 AM
mrobinson
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I would take the morning after pill and if for some reason that didn't work, I would get an abortion. If some sick ba$tard took away my rights and my control over my body, you darn well guarentee that I would not let him do it a second time by being forced to carry his child. No way. Call me what you want but that is what I would do.[/b]

I think it's quite noble women can raise a child conceived by rape, and do everyday with love. I could if I was forced to keep it but I wouldn't want to. Well some women can feel it's about integrity, I think it's about the lack of intergrity in those genes that I wouldn't want to be here on earth. That's for me. I know there are many kids who are the product of rape who are discriminated against within their own families... what a wonderful world, eh?
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  #7  
October 29th, 2006, 01:22 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I can't say for certain how I fould feel about raising a child conceived that way - as I would fear that my family may never be totally okay with it - but I would certainly carry the baby....and I would hope that I could be certain that everyone would love & respect me & the child in that case. I would hope to be able to keep the baby - but if I couldn't - I would choose a family myself. I know that there are some people that have genetic problems that predispose them to violence & I would worry that my child may have inherited that predisposition, but I also believe that the vast majority of who we become is nurture & that most of it can be overcome with a good environment...so I would not be too concerned that my child would have a predisposition that love & active parenting couldn't overcome. I also don't think I would tell the child about the rape. At least not while they were at all young. I would probably just say I didn't really know their father & it isn't how I planned, but I love them just the same & am glad I have them in my life. Maybe when the child is over 20 & if the child has real curiosity - I might tell them then - but it would be discretionary on my part at that point - and that is also why I would be worried about my family being involved, as I would not want anyone to ever slip up & have the child find out by anyone other than me & only when I thought it seemed appropriate.
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  #9  
October 29th, 2006, 05:31 PM
CBMS
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My cousin was raped at 16 and she kept the baby. She loves that little boy. She ended up marrying a wonderful man and I am pretty sure he adopted the little guy. They now have two more babies. I conceived my first while on BC, and I was forced to have sex on more than one occasion. Just because I was living with him and married didn't make it less of a rape, IMO. I personally would never consider abortion even under those conditions, but I can completely understand why a woman would.
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  #10  
October 29th, 2006, 06:21 PM
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
Had I gotten pregnant from either of those experiences...I can honestly say I'd never have an abortion. Just because the men decided to disregard morals and personal integrity doesn't mean I have to.[/b]
ITA.

I would keep the baby.
[/b][/quote]

So a woman who has an abortion because of a rape has no morals or personal integrity?
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  #11  
October 29th, 2006, 07:39 PM
crunchymama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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^^^ a few other people quoted that reply and then there was Courtney who actually wrote it, why quote mommieof3?
She does seem to get picked on quite a bit in these abortion debates.
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  #12  
October 29th, 2006, 07:49 PM
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Quote:
^^^ a few other people quoted that reply and then there was Courtney who actually wrote it, why quote mommieof3?
She does seem to get picked on quite a bit in these abortion debates.[/b]
Why does it matter who I quoted? I wasn't picking on anyone I was asking an honest question and anyone who agrees with that statement is welcome to answer
And please, why don't you ask Cece how much I pick on her? I'm very respectful of her POV.
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  #13  
October 29th, 2006, 08:06 PM
crunchymama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was just asking and I didn't mean it was just you that picked on her I just noticed she gets heat in here a lot.

and I can't think of a way to answer your question without hurting anyones feelings so I'm glad you quoted her.
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  #14  
October 29th, 2006, 08:11 PM
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Quote:
I was just asking and I didn't mean it was just you that picked on her I just noticed she gets heat in here a lot.

and I can't think of a way to answer your question without hurting anyones feelings so I'm glad you quoted her. [/b]
Well this is an abortion debate...so long as you don't make personal attacks you can freely express your POV I wouldn't worry about hurting anyones feelings most of us can take the heat! B)
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  #15  
October 29th, 2006, 10:01 PM
irishxrose
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I was raped twice, and if I had gotten pregnant on either of those occasions, I would have had an abortion. I was not strong enough emotionally to carry a product of rape.

And I like CeCe.. even if I don't agree with her all the time.
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  #16  
October 29th, 2006, 10:07 PM
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I don't know what I would do. I *think* I would have an abortion. I do not know. If I didn't get an abortion, I would raise the child. I could not give a child up for adoption. It's my child, I couldn't ever let anyone else raise him/her.

And I have no idea how I would tell them about who their father was. They have a right to know, but they also have a right to not know (kwim?). I hope I am never in this situation.
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  #17  
October 29th, 2006, 11:50 PM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
<div class='quotemain'>Had I gotten pregnant from either of those experiences...I can honestly say I'd never have an abortion. Just because the men decided to disregard morals and personal integrity doesn't mean I have to.[/b]
ITA.

I would keep the baby.
[/b][/quote]

So a woman who has an abortion because of a rape has no morals or personal integrity?
[/b][/quote]

You can't possibly think I meant that in that sense...can you?
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  #18  
October 30th, 2006, 05:26 AM
Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
<div class='quotemain'>Had I gotten pregnant from either of those experiences...I can honestly say I'd never have an abortion. Just because the men decided to disregard morals and personal integrity doesn't mean I have to.[/b]
ITA.

I would keep the baby.
[/b]
So a woman who has an abortion because of a rape has no morals or personal integrity?
[/b][/quote]

You can't possibly think I meant that in that sense...can you?
[/b][/quote]

That's why I was asking....it does kind of sound like that.
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  #20  
October 30th, 2006, 08:38 AM
myonlysunshine
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I was concieved by rape, but didn't know until I was in my late teens. Because of this (and other reasons) I wouldn't have an abortion; the way I was concieved doesn't make my life any less valuable than someone who was conceived in love. Maybe I take it to an overly-emotional level, but to when folk say "I would have an abortion if I was raped" it hurts; I totally understand why they would, its just that to me it sounds as if people like me don't deserve to live because of what some man did.
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