Log In Sign Up

Should Women Abort a Fetus to save the life of a fully born person


Abortion Debate

This forum is for Abortion debate only. If you are highly sensitive about this topic, read at your own discretion.

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Abortion Debate LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
December 19th, 2006, 11:23 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 210
edited for spelling errors.


Ok so this is a semi-hypothetical situation. For a bit of backround information. My brother was diagnosed with Lukemia when I was 8 years old. He struggled & has been in remision for sevral years. He is now 26. Our childhood was traumatic to say the least. Our father was an Alcoholic with NPD & our mother was in a constant state of Chronic depression. My brother's way of coping was to turn to drugs & alcohol. A professional just informed our family that if he continues down this road is cancer WILL return...it's not even a question of if...just when.

That being said. My family EXPECTS me to endure an envasive procedure, in which, a doctor drills into your spine to extract marrow for transplant, with out question & be happy to do it, under any cercomstance. The discussion of pregnancy and parenthood came up as I am pursuing a foster care liscence. I stated that I would NOT put myself in any type of unnessicary surgery if I was 1. a mother who had a child which depended on me to survive or 2. was in any stage of a wanted pregnancy in which a major surgery will put the fetus in harm. My family actually expects me to get an abortion, if I am involved in an early pregnancy, so that I could endure a surgery that will save my brother's life. I am the most PRO-CHOICE you can get but I WILL NOT put my own "child" (ezf) in harm for another person even if it happens to be my brother. If that makes me a selfish ##### fine but I just won't do it. That being said I don't think I should be pressured to endure ANY invasive surgery unless it is my choice to do so and the benifit outweighs the risks.

I am pro-choice and have always believed that the well being of the mother...a fully born person....was more important than a ezf. This situation is tough for me....if a fully born person is ALWAYS more important then an ezf do you believe that a woman in an early pregnancy(up to 5 months) should abort so that she can endure a transplant surgery(which would kill/harm the fetus) that will grant a third party the chance at life? I realize that my entire post seems quite pro-life...and I assure you I am pro-choice....but I just don't see how I could terminate my own pregnancy, to endure a major surgery, that might leave me paralized, to save the life of a violent (he put me in the hospital atleast 3 times when we were growing up that I can remember) drug addict. Then agian he is my brother and I guess I "love" him and he isin't all bad all the time. We have moments were we get along great now that we are both adults. I'm conflicted.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
December 19th, 2006, 11:25 AM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
My family actually expects me to get an abortion, if I am involved in an early pregnancy, so that I could endure a surgery that will save my brother's life.[/b]
That's my problem with this.. Being pro-choice is about your choice, not one forced upon you.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
December 19th, 2006, 11:33 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 559
I would never force my daughter to give any part of her to my son. I am thrilled that she is so young yet she gives her play time to him and seems truly devoted to him being happy with her. The previous poster is right, your choice matters. Your parents cannot force you. In your situation, I would not give my body until it was safe (not pregnant). I would give if I was not pregnant. However I dont really knw how it feels to be in your unique situation with a brother who may not respect my gift and continue to use drugs.
__________________
Frgsonmysox and crunchymama got me with a snowball!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
December 19th, 2006, 12:15 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,373
It is YOUR choice, no one else's. It is not their body that would have to endure the procedure and it is not their pregnancy that they would have to consider endangering.
It sounds a bit hypocritical to me, though. They expect you to risk the life of your child to save their's, I just can't overlook the irony.
__________________
Wife, Mother of 4, Homeschooling, and wine drinking.


Reply With Quote
  #6  
December 19th, 2006, 12:45 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 210
I forgot to add that a pregnant woman CAN NOT go through a bone marrow transplant. Hence the NEED for abortion to endure a transplant. Women aren't even saposed to donate blood while pregnant because donation while pregnant/shortly afterwards hasn't been proven to be safe.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
December 19th, 2006, 12:50 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
I forgot to add that a pregnant woman CAN NOT go through a bone marrow transplant. Hence the NEED for abortion to endure a transplant. Women aren't even saposed to donate blood while pregnant because donation while pregnant/shortly afterwards hasn't been proven to be safe.[/b]
I can't even donate blood so I see why..

You deciding to have a baby or being a mom is a huge decision and not one (I can tell) you don't take lightly. Your brother has choosen his path too. It's your decision in the end. Good luck girl. If you want to chat about it, please pm me.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
December 19th, 2006, 01:02 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 210
I don't know specifically "why". Below is where I got the info from but there is so exact explination. I assume that it is for the same reason why pregnant women can't donate blood. (http://www.bloodbankofalaska.org/donating/faq.html)

" Why are pregnant women unable to donate?
Although no problems have been reported, the safety of donating blood during or shortly after pregnancy has not been fully established. There may be medical risks to mother and baby if a blood donation is made while pregnant or shortly after pregnancy. "

Bone marrow donation.
http://www.marrow.org/DONOR/Donation_Trans...nced/index.html

"Pregnant women should not donate marrow"
Reply With Quote
  #11  
December 19th, 2006, 01:03 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I can't even donate blood so I see why..[/b]
Is it just because of the blood loss then (in surgery), that means someone would have to abort before the surgery can be done? I dunno...I guess I am confused...because I know people have had surgery while pregnant....so I dunno...I am confused.


Quote:
Your brother has choosen his path too.[/b]
I don't think that it is fair to say that. How can one choose to develop leukemia?

And addiction....well, IMO, no one chooses to live like that. Drug addiction is a disease.
[/b][/quote]
I don't understand what you're trying to argue. The doctor told him to get help. If he chooses not to, her deciding to have a family is not something I would argue she should/not do.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
December 19th, 2006, 01:15 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I don't understand what you're trying to argue. The doctor told him to get help. If he chooses not to, her deciding to have a family is not something I would argue she should/not do.[/b]
I wasn't really trying to argue...I guess I am a bit conflicted on this...because even if he "chooses" to be addicted...I dunno...I just...I feel bad for him. I am sure that if he was in his right mind, he wouldn't choose to live like that.

I don't wanna come off like I am saying that she shouldn't start a family. It's her choice. I dunno...I am just conflicted.

To me, if *I* were in the situation...I dunno...I would need to know when I would be expected to have the surgery, and where that fits into my schedule of TTC. Like...If I had to wait a year or something vs. a few months...I dunno....I guess alot of things would come into play....(Not saying that it isn't happening here...just stating what *I* would feel/do in a situation like this).
[/b][/quote]
I didn't say he choose a disease. I said he choose no treatment. I KNOW that addiction is a mental health issue. I really am annoyed I even have to clarify that.

Quote:
It is YOUR choice, no one else's. It is not their body that would have to endure the procedure and it is not their pregnancy that they would have to consider endangering.
It sounds a bit hypocritical to me, though. They expect you to risk the life of your child to save their's, I just can't overlook the irony.[/b]
Reply With Quote
  #15  
December 19th, 2006, 01:17 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I didn't say he choose a diease. I said he choose no treatment. I KNOW that addiction is a mental health issue. I really am annoyed I even have to clarify that.[/b]
Michelle...I think you are taking this too harshly hon...I dunno. I think the reason WHY he chooses to have no treatment is BECAUSE he has the addiction. That's why I was conflicted on it. I wasn't trying to like, bash you or patronize you or anything.
[/b][/quote]

You brought up what was "fair" so I think I'm more than entitled to clarify it.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
December 19th, 2006, 01:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lafayette, Indiana
Posts: 4,213
Wow! I can't imagine what you must be going through my dear. Has your brother been to treatment for his drug addiction? If that is causing some of his health problems, then I think it should be taken care of first before starting any medical procedures.

My answer is to this is it really is up to the woman in the situation. If she is willing to do that for her brother, I would support that. However, I don't think it is right for the parents involved to ask such a thing of you. All they need to do is present you with the information and let you decide; after all, you are a reasonable, sensitive and logical person.

I also can't say what I would personally do in this situation......this is really a mind-bender.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #18  
December 19th, 2006, 01:38 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
You brought up what was "fair" so I think I'm more than entitled to clarify it.[/b]
I didn't say you shouldn't or couldn't clarify...I was just worried that you were thinking I was trying to attack you, that's all.
[/b][/quote]

Cece, don't worry so much about what I think about you based on debates.. I feel pretty secure in our on-line friendship that you wouldn't attack me. I wasn't even going down that road of thought.. (back to the thread.)

You talked about what was fair.. Why on earth would it be fair to her to be forced into a decision based off of pressure from her family. The only pressure she should have is from herself on this issue. You can tell she loves her brother unconditionally. At a certain point we want to start a family. That's a huge decision. (Well, for most sane people!) Of course our love for our siblings doesn't have to be conditional. There is only so much we can do too.

This situation is something that can be avoided as stated by the doctor. Let me use heart disease as an example.. I know that the amount of hamburgers I can eat aren't good for me. If the doctor tells me I have high cholesteral and I make the choice to not make changes, I would set myself for a possible harder road and maybe death.. We don't know for sure of anything.. It's all hypothetical. I would hope that I wouldn't be such a hardship on my family. If I knew that I was setting myself up for a stroke/heart attack, I would want to make sure I had the right insurance so my family isn't stuck looking after me because of my unhealthy decisions.

Right now, for the original poster, if I was in your position, I would be putting my heart into helping brother beat his addiction. I would also continue with my choice to have a family.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
December 19th, 2006, 01:53 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
<div class='quotemain'>
You brought up what was "fair" so I think I'm more than entitled to clarify it.[/b]
I didn't say you shouldn't or couldn't clarify...I was just worried that you were thinking I was trying to attack you, that's all.
[/b]
Cece, don't worry so much about what I think about you based on debates.. I feel pretty secure in our on-line friendship that you wouldn't attack me. I wasn't even going down that road of thought.. (back to the thread.)
[/b][/quote]

Sorry!! I am a goof.
[/b][/quote]
YOU'RE NOT A GOOF!!
You're my friend and you were just clarifying.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:32 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0