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OT: I can't believe the health issues in my DDC


Abortion Debate

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  #1  
June 22nd, 2007, 08:46 AM
Ms.Michelle
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I know we don't always agree on abortion.. but after being pregnant for the first time, going through this, being on a DDC and see what other girls are going through... I'm surprised more people aren't pro-choice. ((knock on wood and thank the Heavens)) I haven't had really too many issues. My feet and hands right now are swollen but I didn't have infected belly stretch marks. (I didn't even know those existed!) I didn't have crazy dizzy spells, UTI's, bad morning sickness, unsupportive SO's, a complete house relocation, or major complications like some of the other women in my DDC are having. I'm just so suprised how complicated we make birth and how complicated it can get. After spending all this time debating oodles of subjects with you all, I can't imagine not being on the same page with my SO on things like circumcision, spanking, or whatever.. yet so many people are just talking about this.. only now!

Anyway, I just thought I'd throw that out there.
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  #3  
June 22nd, 2007, 09:09 AM
Ms.Michelle
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infected stretch marks??? That's news to me too! [/b]
Oh my goodness. This poor girl had a belly that looks like a cat used her for a stratching post for the last nine months.. Pups? Or something like that? Anyways, they were so painful she would just lay in bed and cry. I can't blame her. I felt horrible for her.
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  #4  
June 22nd, 2007, 09:20 AM
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IMO, this all comes with the territory. Bringing a new life into this world is a complicated thing, there is no doubt about that! And it only get's MORE complicated once they get here
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  #5  
June 22nd, 2007, 10:06 AM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
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I didn't participate in our DDC - I joined JM after the babies were born - but it really is amazing. I think a part of it, though, is that a lot of women go searching for this kind of community when they run into problems ... which leads to us have a higher percentage of rough pregnancies. Maybe?

Like my Playroom, too... We have one with cancer, a few with torticollis and/or plagiocephaly, a couple of UTIs, some hospital runs for Rotavirus or other diseases, and of course Aleah's death... Out of a cross section of probably 30-40 babies that are regulars. Maybe I'm wrong, but that seems a fairly high percentage of health problems in the first year for that small a sample of babies.

...or maybe July is just jinxed. Ahem.

I do agree with being pretty amazed that so many couples don't talk parenting out ahead of time. Heck, DH and I weren't even married when we discussed number of kids, parenting styles, etc - we did it when we were engaged, part of deciding if it was the right choice for us.

On the other hand...I had hellish morning sickness, but I certainly wouldn't terminate a pregnancy for it. Like labor, it's one of those things that fades as a memory over time, and well worth it to me, heh. It was just part and parcel with the whole experience.

I need to go look up infected stretch marks now. I'd also never heard of that!!
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  #6  
June 22nd, 2007, 01:33 PM
donomama
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It is interesting to me how the same experience will produce different results to different people. I was pro-life before, but after going through pregnancy, I don't see how anyone could feel their child moving in their belly and not think that it is a living human being worthy of life.
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  #7  
June 22nd, 2007, 01:40 PM
Ms.Michelle
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It is interesting to me how the same experience will produce different results to different people. I was pro-life before, but after going through pregnancy, I don't see how anyone could feel their child moving in their belly and not think that it is a living human being worthy of life.[/b]
I'm not going to lie to you.. I've had moments that I can't understand.. but I know it's because I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have my DH, my health, my health care coverage, my home, my dogs, my life, my country and my job.. When I have moments where I want change the gravity of my opinion, I know it's because I'm forgetting where I came from and how easy it could have been for me to do it. Feeling like I had no choice.
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  #9  
June 22nd, 2007, 03:16 PM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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Wait, I don't understand the logic in infected stretch marks = should be pro-choice. Am I missing something here? lol
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  #10  
June 22nd, 2007, 03:23 PM
Ms.Michelle
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Wait, I don't understand the logic in infected stretch marks = should be pro-choice. Am I missing something here? lol[/b]
I mean that people who have actually experienced pregnancy would have a better understanding why some women would choose abortion, especially if they have had major complications. I mean some women have/had GD, dettached placentas, etc, etc.
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  #12  
June 22nd, 2007, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Wait, I don't understand the logic in infected stretch marks = should be pro-choice. Am I missing something here? lol[/b]
I mean that people who have actually experienced pregnancy would have a better understanding why some women would choose abortion, especially if they have had major complications. I mean some women have/had GD, dettached placentas, etc, etc.
[/b]
I guess I had the opposite experience, but I had a fairly easy, stretchmark infection-free pregnancy As soon as I saw those lines on the pregnancy test I was in awe that there was something growing inside me; that feeling only got stronger as the pregnancy progressed. I remember falling asleep nearly every night with my hands on my belly feeling Julia move.
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  #13  
June 22nd, 2007, 10:11 PM
Ms.Michelle
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Wait, I don't understand the logic in infected stretch marks = should be pro-choice. Am I missing something here? lol[/b]
I mean that people who have actually experienced pregnancy would have a better understanding why some women would choose abortion, especially if they have had major complications. I mean some women have/had GD, dettached placentas, etc, etc.
[/b]
I guess I had the opposite experience, but I had a fairly easy, stretchmark infection-free pregnancy As soon as I saw those lines on the pregnancy test I was in awe that there was something growing inside me; that feeling only got stronger as the pregnancy progressed. I remember falling asleep nearly every night with my hands on my belly feeling Julia move.
[/b]
Really I've had the same experience but my point is being in a DDC shows how hard pregnancy *can* be ~ the physical issues, the mental issues, the emotional issues, the lack of support. We talk about abortion here. I'm always trying to show abortion is more an issue where people don't have the resources. In a DDC those lack of resources are so obviously, that I can't believe anyone can be so blind.. Hence why I can't help but wonder why more people are not pro-choice.
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  #14  
June 24th, 2007, 06:50 PM
irishxrose
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I get what you're saying Michelle.

And let me tell you PUPPS SUCKS!!!!!! I had it from 28 weeks until I gave birth. It was horrible.
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  #15  
June 24th, 2007, 06:58 PM
chlodoll
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I completely understand what you are saying. My pregnancy was so crappy and stressful I sometimes think I dont ever want to do it again. Of course there were good moments but I dont know if I could handle it again especially now that I have alot more responsibility.
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  #16  
June 25th, 2007, 06:15 AM
*Aspen*
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I know we don't always agree on abortion.. but after being pregnant for the first time, going through this, being on a DDC and see what other girls are going through... I'm surprised more people aren't pro-choice. ((knock on wood and thank the Heavens)) I haven't had really too many issues. My feet and hands right now are swollen but I didn't have infected belly stretch marks. (I didn't even know those existed!) I didn't have crazy dizzy spells, UTI's, bad morning sickness, unsupportive SO's, a complete house relocation, or major complications like some of the other women in my DDC are having. I'm just so suprised how complicated we make birth and how complicated it can get. After spending all this time debating oodles of subjects with you all, I can't imagine not being on the same page with my SO on things like circumcision, spanking, or whatever.. yet so many people are just talking about this.. only now!

Anyway, I just thought I'd throw that out there.[/b]
Dh and I never talked about things like this. I never knew it SHOULD be talked about, I just thought it was something that you deal with as you come along (although we did talk about circumcision). It never crossed my mind to bring up these subjects when I was pregnant. Even if we had talked about it though, I don't think it's a bad thing if we aren't on the same page on all aspects, we are two different people with different opinions etc...but for the most part I know what you are saying.

I keep thinking long and hard about ttc number 2 and the more I think about it the more I realize how unprepared we were for number 1. I don't think people in general realize that it's a "BIG DEAL", I think some just see it as an everyday thing. "Oh, a baby...ok let's go buy stuff so we are 'ready' "...when really, that isn't what makes you ready.

I don't think we will be ttc for a few years now because I've only just recently begun to understand how much time it takes to really truly prepare for a child....and how important it is to discuss all aspects of EVERYTHING with your SO. Even if you don't agree, I think it's imperative for couples to KNOW how they are going to parent etc.
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  #17  
June 25th, 2007, 06:40 AM
Liz Liz is offline
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Michelle, I think this is a great point.

When speaking about choice, most people make it a choice between life and death. No, the right to choice is not really about life and death, it's about ownership of one's body and choosing what to experience and what not to experience. It's about circumstance. It's so much more than a woman deciding, "I don't want to give this child life."

One in an unfortunate place in life may be even more negatively affected by pregnancy than one in a very comfortable place in life. For example, during my pregnancies I have GD. I must give myself injections of insulin several times a day. Luckily, I have a very supportive husband and I'm in a very comfortable place in life, financially and emotionally. However, if I was a single woman with limited income, this could be an even more stressful situation than where I am at this very moment. The money alone in diabetes testing supplies, treatment and doctor's visits would be enough to cause financial strain on an already stretched budget. Not to mention the change in abilities to work. I can honestly say that if I had been working a job that required a long time on my feet or lifting, I would have had to quit my job during the later months in pregnancy. The loss of income would be a huge impact on one's life and future of the unborn.

While I know not all unexpected pregnancies are doom and gloom for women. A woman needs to have the right to decide if she's willing to go through the negative impacts of a pregnancy. She needs to have the will to work harder and the will to make the necessary sacrifices. She has the right to choose if she wants to go through all she will go through.
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  #18  
June 25th, 2007, 11:35 AM
tevinsangel
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When I was preggo with Riley, I swore up and down I never wanted to be pregnant again lol. The all day sickness was terrible, he was so cramped in there, I had to pee ever 15 to 20 mins, I couldn't walk up the stairs normally. I felt like my insides were going to fall out. Now that he will be 2 in Sept, I've recovered enough (I think) to go through it all again. I hope to get pregnant next fall. But back to the OP, DH and I never discussed children etc before we got married either lol...I have decided to take the cop out and attribute it to our young age 19 and 21.
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  #19  
June 25th, 2007, 12:06 PM
Ms.Michelle
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Michelle, I think this is a great point.

When speaking about choice, most people make it a choice between life and death. No, the right to choice is not really about life and death, it's about ownership of one's body and choosing what to experience and what not to experience. It's about circumstance. It's so much more than a woman deciding, "I don't want to give this child life."

One in an unfortunate place in life may be even more negatively affected by pregnancy than one in a very comfortable place in life. For example, during my pregnancies I have GD. I must give myself injections of insulin several times a day. Luckily, I have a very supportive husband and I'm in a very comfortable place in life, financially and emotionally. However, if I was a single woman with limited income, this could be an even more stressful situation than where I am at this very moment. The money alone in diabetes testing supplies, treatment and doctor's visits would be enough to cause financial strain on an already stretched budget. Not to mention the change in abilities to work. I can honestly say that if I had been working a job that required a long time on my feet or lifting, I would have had to quit my job during the later months in pregnancy. The loss of income would be a huge impact on one's life and future of the unborn.

While I know not all unexpected pregnancies are doom and gloom for women. A woman needs to have the right to decide if she's willing to go through the negative impacts of a pregnancy. She needs to have the will to work harder and the will to make the necessary sacrifices. She has the right to choose if she wants to go through all she will go through.[/b]
EXACTLY!!! People think abortion is about being selfish. It's more about what is possible at the time. If my situation was different.. I don't want to even think what I would have to do.

The other point I'm really seeing how is how vulerable women are to OB/GYN's. Whether or not you plan to keep the baby, you are at their mercy. Women assume these people have their baby's and the women's best interest at heart. If they only knew the truth that these doctors play a stats game from being sued and falling into hospital procedures. After witnessing my own DDC, I totally see why women would have an abortion based on a doctor's opinion of "what is wrong with baby." It's not a miracle of God when a child comes out perfectly fine after a terrible diagonsis ~ it's the doctor trying to save their butt.

Quote:
When I was preggo with Riley, I swore up and down I never wanted to be pregnant again lol. The all day sickness was terrible, he was so cramped in there, I had to pee ever 15 to 20 mins, I couldn't walk up the stairs normally. I felt like my insides were going to fall out. Now that he will be 2 in Sept, I've recovered enough (I think) to go through it all again. I hope to get pregnant next fall. But back to the OP, DH and I never discussed children etc before we got married either lol...I have decided to take the cop out and attribute it to our young age 19 and 21. [/b]
I think back to that thread "what is one subject people don't agree with you on" and can't help but think I should add, age before couples should TTC.
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  #20  
June 27th, 2007, 05:54 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Aside from morning sickness, most of the crappy pregnancy symptoms happen after the first trimester. I think beyond that time most women have already decided to keep the pregnancy or not. And the longer you go in the pregnancy, the more you bond and that can give you the resolve to stick it through some tough situations.

I don't think my feelings about abortion changed after having a baby, they only became more complex. I can have a better appreciation for facing the huge responsibility of raising a child and understand that not everyone is in an optimal situation for it. I also saw how the physical changes I was undergoing and in awe that such a tiny little thing would cling so tenaciously to life that it did such crazy things to my body. Thinking of ending that life seemed like a crime against nature. kwim?
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