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When is it ok


Abortion Debate

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View Poll Results: When is it ok to have an abortion?
When you don't want the child 9 9.28%
When the child was an accident 2 2.06%
When you were a victim of rape 3 3.09%
When you found out you were having a boy and you want a girl 0 0%
When your life or the baby's life is at risk 23 23.71%
It's never ok 43 44.33%
Other 17 17.53%
Voters: 97. You may not vote on this poll

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  #41  
February 28th, 2009, 11:38 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
The only time I support anyone's right to have an abortion is when the mother's life is in imminent danger. And by imminent danger, I mean she will most certainly die if she carries the child to term. I don't consider psychological side-effects, or other medical complications (like having to have a c-section due to severe hydrocephaly) that don't imminently endanger the life of the mother to be "good enough" (for lack of a better word) reasons to have an abortion.

As far as rape goes, I hope I would have the strength and courage to carry a baby to term and then place it for adoption, and while I still don't want to see an innocent life ended because of the actions of a rapist, I won't be condemning anyone for that choice.

As far as other situations, I have little to no sympathy for women who have abortions for other reasons. I don't care how complicated the situation, there are ALWAYS other options, in my opinion. I don't think I could continue to maintain a relationship with a woman who chose to have an abortion outside these situations.[/b]
I had an "abortion" because my sons had zero hope of survival due to a chromosomal disorder. My doctor and I (along with a few specialists) sat down and laid out what would happen if I chose to carry to term and I chose to put an end to their and my suffering and terminated. At the time I didn't even know what was wrong because I refused an amnio, all we knew was development was way off, and as I'd been spotting heavily for a while, and my bloodwork was off the charts crazy, nothing looked right. I've since seen that happens when you carry to term (their father has since had another loss, undiagnosed until his gf went into labor at 19 weeks and the baby stillborn) and I do not regret my choice what so ever. Term for their disorder is about 19-20 weeks.

So that means you would have no sympathy for me, or for her because had we known how my boys got the disorder, she would have terminated as well. His disorder (he has partial, but a partial person passes the gene on as complete) is passed down through him and the moment the chromosome triples, it's a death scentence for the baby. We didn't know until after their loss that the disorder was passed from him to all three of his babies, literally condemming them from conception.

Quote:
Okay, I just have to ask...The women who are saying "other, because it's okay whenever a woman decides she wants one," are you really saying you support a woman choosing to have an abortion because she wanted a girl, and is having a boy?!?![/b]
I do not belive in abortion past viability for anything other than medical necessity so I would not be supportive of this. Also, I do not believe in gender selection unless there is a medical need for it (I have an aunt that cannot have daughters due to passing on the Tay Sachs condition, she has lost 5 in total all with the disorder). Gender selection for preference doesn't jive with me at all.

Quote:
First off I don't think you truly understand what a women goes through when she makes this decision and how it affects her for the rest of your life. If you are so "againts" abortion, why don't you go and adopt children that don't have families? Instead of having your own?? How many children are there that don't have a family, which could have been avoided if the mother had decided that she would make the "best" choice at the time and terminate the pregnancy?? Killing a fetus is completely different than killing a toddler. I don't understand how you could even say this, it isn't even considered a fetus until the heart starts beating, at what 10 wks. You are completly ignorant when it comes to peoples choices and decisions, everyone leads a different life. Every Women should be allowed to make the decision that is best for HER and who are you to say that having a baby is HER best choice? It might be right for you, but not for everyone. As for quoting one of the ten commandments, how many of those are broken every day? Thou shalt not lie, I am sure you have told a lie who hasn't, thou shall love thy neighbour, who loves all of their neighbours?? Seriously, are we going to through more "helpless" children into this world, just because some people don't believe in having abortions?? How about making it a law that you have to get a parenting course before you decide to have kids and that you need a license to be parents, is that what we should do? so that all the parents out there that don't and can't take care of their children can't have them? I have friends who neglect their children, who sluff them off onto one babysitter to another, never spending time with them, not having the money to buy them groceries, and you think that is ok??


I think that every women has HER own right to decide when and what SHE wants to do. I have had an abortion, even after swearing all my life that I would never do it, that I could never do it, but the situation was horrible and I did not want to bring a child into this world where it wouldn't be given the life it should have. To this day I have feelings of guilt and anger at myself, but that doesn't effect your life does it? no it doesn't I am the one who has to deal with my choices, your life still goes on like normal. Stop being so judgmental because until you have been there and experienced something you can never understand. Through all of this, I know that I made the right decision, my life wouldn't be where it is today if I hadn't made those choices, I would still be in an abusive relationship, instead of with my wonderful husband who supports me and loves me even knowing the choices that I have made in my past. He doesn't judge me, he doesn't tell me to get over it, he is there when I am sad and when I am guilty and when I need to talk about my baby, because that what it was to me and that is what it is to every women, it is OUR baby, we had to make the hard choice to decide not to go thru with the pregnancy, but that doesn't make that baby any less of child to us, it isn't like we have no feelings. I am reminded daily about my decision, every baby I see, I think to myself I could have a toddler by now, but that wasn't what my life was supposed to be, this is what my life is, here and now. My DH and I are TTC our first, and it is painful, because I feel all the time, well why do I deserve another baby, I gave mine up, and you know what my DH says to me "You are the most wonderful person in the world, with the biggest heart, you will get your baby, because we were meant to have that baby, not you alone" and I know that I do deserve to have another chance, to make things right for the choices that i made.

I have no regrets, I made my decision and that was what happened. I am just glad that I had the CHOICE, that I wasn't forced into something that I couldn't handle at the time.

If you want to judge me feel free, but you can never judge me as much as I judge myself, because you don't know me.[/b]
HUGS to you hun, you are a wonderful person and you will get that baby you and your DH are waiting on.

Quote:
THis is always a difficult thing for me to talk about...

I am pro-life. I have watched videos of babies being aborted and it almost made me throw up. I wonder if most of the women who get abortions simply because "they feel like it" because they were too lazy to use birth control, watched the procedures being done, and watched the doctors ripping apart their babies limb by limb if they would still consider it.

I find it absolutely dispicable that the UK will allow abortions up to 24 weeks. My baby was born at 24 weeks and survived. Babies are considered "viable" at this stage. That I consider murdering absolutely. Those babies have a chance at survival after 24 weeks. Anything before even 23 weeks will not survive outside the womb. (in which case I still consider abortion at any gestation killing. those babies are alive, moving, swallowing and have a heartbeat. It is alive) I think the poeple who allow abortions that late into a pregnancy need to have their doctoring liscense revoked and I think people who do it that late need to be punished by the law.

The only situations in which I see abortion "necessary" is when the mom is at risk of dying or the baby is very sick and/or severely disfigured and will not survive once born and women/young girls who have been raped. As for women who use this as a form of birth control.. I think they are severely screwed up in their head and need some counselling. I have no respect or sympathy for women who get multiple abortions by choice. There's so many forms of birth control out there. If you are not smart enough to be using it, than you should not be having sex...period. Yeah ok a young couple (teens) is uneducated on the consequences of unprotected sex. So she goes in and has an abortion. But for the same person to just go and do it again, knowing full well what can happen and has happened to her in the past to go and do it for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th time is absolutely rediculous, careless and irrisponsible. If I had a friend who did that, I would tell her my opinion and probably not speak to her again.

I know my opinion is harsh but thats what I think. I am not judging anyone here. I am simply just stating how I feel about it. It just makes me so sad. I'm sorry if this makes anyone mad..[/b]
I actually saw the silent scream video years before I made my decision to terminate. Yes I had a medical reason for mine, but I made the choice before I had all the answers. I was sick, I was scared and my tests were showing problems. So I made the choice, with my doctors backing (she is very prolife) and terminated.

I don't believe in elective abortion (meaning no medical reasoning) beyond viability (really, it drives me insane beyond 12 weeks). Once a baby can survive outside the womb (so for me, cut off is 22 weeks as we have had 22 weekers survive) then IMO it is murder. While there is an occassional woman who doesn't know she's pregnant (I know one who didn't miss a period until almost her 7th month, and actually had a pap at what would have been 15 weeks and the doctor didn't clue in), the majority see all the signs and just ignore them.



The new way of piggy backing BCP is causing a lot of these late term abortions IMO. I believe that if you are piggy backing the pill (taking it for 3-6 months at a time with no period) you should have to have a test done every couple of months to ensure that it's the pill causing no period, not a pregnancy. I have a friend who was piggy backing her pills, under doctor supervision to help with migraines, and she came off her 2nd round (6 months at a time) and her period didn't show. Being smart, she POAS and voila... she's prego. In fact, she's 5.5 months prego so her first pack of pills failed and she'd been taking them daily since. She's a fluffy girl so she never noticed herself getting bigger, what made her suspicious was a lack of appetite which should have caused weight loss.


In response I said other. I have no right to tell someone what they can and cannot do with their body. I believe in educating someone about their choice, and allowing them to make it. I know of one beautiful little girl who is here because I sat down with her mother and hashed out abortion (which is what she wanted). I gave her links, info, photos and videos. I am pro choice, but I don't see the point in ending a life if at all possible. She read the research, looked at videos and photos and realized that what was inside her was more than a group of cells to her. Her intitial choice had been a knee j erk reaction to getting a +HPT and her boyfriend leaving her. She was also the one who stood beside me when I chose to terminate my own troublesom pregnancy. The day her daughter was born she placed her in my arms, and kissed my cheek and said "Thank you for my daughter, she woudln't be here if you hadn't taken the time to talk to me."
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  #42  
March 2nd, 2009, 08:01 AM
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I voted "other." I really don't think somebody's choice to carry to term or abort is any of my business, so while I might feel that some of the reasons listed are more valid than others, that isn't the point. I support a woman's right to choose, even if her choice isn't one I'd personally support or do myself.
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  #43  
March 13th, 2009, 04:01 PM
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I don't think abortion should be used as a form of birth control, but only b/c those are my personal morals. I don't consider myself pro anything really, even though I still think it's up to the woman.

I mean, if it were fair, I'd be pro-life, but then it would be contradicting of me to tell someone what to do & how to live... everyone feels like they have a valid reason for the reason they chose abortion, and you really should respect that even if you don't agree.
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  #44  
May 30th, 2009, 09:16 AM
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I voted other simply b/c I feel that poll wasn't covering all reasons to get an abortion and there isn't just one reason why someone would get an abortion.

I feel not only are some women not cut out to be mothers but they also aren't cut out to be pregnant women and carry a baby to term healthy and safely. For example - a drug addicted women finds her self pregnant, she doesn't know who the father is, she is living on her friends couch b/c she hasn't worked in a year, all she does all day long is do drugs and drink. Do you think that baby has a chance at becoming a healthy, happy, good citizen? I don't think so. Yeah, she can give the baby up for adoption but who is to say she will stop the drugs while pregnant? Or take her prenatal vitamins? Especially if she doesn't want the baby then she doesn't care about it. Ok, lets say she keeps it - the cycle will just continue and that baby will most likely grow up to be another drug addict in our society... do we really need that? No. So.. in my eyes not everyone should have a baby nor be pregnant. That was just one example - there are a million different scenarios that this type of debate can come up in.. and to tell someone that they HAVE to have the baby is simply not fair to the person nor the child... its just a breeding ground for uneducated, leeches of the society or rapist and murders. It takes ALOT to raise a child... its not for everyone.
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  #45  
June 9th, 2009, 05:45 PM
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I cannot believe that 5 people actually voted that is you simply just do not want the child that you should abort. See, it is being used as an easy way out of your RESPONSIBILITY!
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  #46  
June 9th, 2009, 08:46 PM
irishxrose
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy10_13 View Post
I cannot believe that 5 people actually voted that is you simply just do not want the child that you should abort. See, it is being used as an easy way out of your RESPONSIBILITY!
Contrary to popular belief, abortion IS being responsible. If someone knows that they cannot carry a child for whatever reason, cannot CARE for a child for whatever reason, then I do not believe that forcing them to carry a pregnancy and be a parent is in either the woman's best interest OR the child's, as the child very well could be abused, neglected and all sorts of other issues that can come up even while the woman is still pregnant. Why hurt the woman or child that would be born? The woman uses her CHOICE to have an abortion, just like you have that same choice to give birth and keep the child, or another woman has the choice and carries the pregnancy and chooses to adopt the child out. They are ALL RESPONSIBLE CHOICES. Whether you like abortion or not, I can't believe anyone would actually prefer for women to be FORCED to carry a pregnancy and then FORCED to parent a child they don't want. What a great way to screw up not only the woman but also the child! Yes, that is so responsible, to screw up more women and more kids just because "it's a life!". Forcing a woman to keep a pregnancy and forced to be a parent because of your personal beliefs is not responsible to me - that's tyrannical.

Anyway, point being, whether you like abortion or not, it IS the MOST RESPONSIBLE CHOICE for some women - and whether you like it or not, there are some instances in which a child should NEVER be born into. Not everything in this world is sunshine and puppies, and adoption is not always an option either that is always sunshine and puppies either. Point blank - abortion is not some great evil that needs to be eradicated and that it is somehow "irresponsible". A mother who already has four children of her own, works two jobs already, is married, her husband has been laid off, they struggle daily just to feed, clothe and care for the four children they already have, she gets pregnant while on birth control and using a condom, has no access to medical insurance or welfare because she falls just over the limit... how is that woman supposed to adequately care for that pregnancy and the resulting child while still caring for her already existing children and husband and working two jobs to do that? HOW is that irresponsible for her to get an abortion when her circumstances clearly make it impossible for her to carry a pregnancy to term and care for that child? That's not irresponsible - that is being responsible for her family. And you can claim all day that scenario doesn't happen that often - but it does, and you also need to realize that not everyone lives in a sunshine and puppies world, and women, for whatever reason they hold, should not be forced to carry a pregnancy when they do not wish to. I rather like the autonomy over my own body and my reproductive system, and I find it absolutely appalling that other women presume that they can tell other women what to do with their own reproductive organs simply because they believe that their beliefs that it's a life trumps another woman's rights. The child is not yours. The body is not yours. It is NOT your decision.
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  #47  
February 8th, 2012, 10:21 PM
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It's never ok.
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  #48  
April 23rd, 2012, 09:30 PM
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It's never ok. The child is alive and should be respected as its own life. Abortion is no different than killing toddlers. If it came to my life being in danger because of a pregnancy (very very few cases of that actually happening) I would rather risk my own life than kill that child. I told my husband while I was pregnant with my daughter that if something drastic happened, he is to tell the doctors to save her. He nodded. There is nothing more precious and more worthy of protection than an innocent child.
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  #49  
May 28th, 2012, 08:28 PM
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Never. A person who has sex willingly knows there can be a chance to conceive and shouldn't have their baby killed because she didn't think it would happen to her. If it was not willingly then their are still other options such as adoption. If it is a life or death situation and having a child could risk your own life..then if it was me I would choose my baby's life before my own, the same I would do if it was my 15 month old daughter and I had to chose. The baby's heart beat can be detected within the first couple weeks, or earlier, and is a human being and should be treated as one..not garbage. There is a baby who was born at 21 weeks and survived...so it's heartbreaking that someone can murder a baby at all, let alone as late as 20 weeks. All children are a blessing
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  #50  
May 31st, 2012, 12:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaDucks View Post
would not be possible, since most places will not perform an abortion if you aer over 12-14 weeks pregnant. life or death choice, usually come much later also


i could not vote here, it is a VERY personal desision that has to do with what a person believes, there is no one reason. i would know, i have had an abortion.
actually abortions in the us are performed up to 24 to 26 weeks. first trimestor abortion is just what some claim to be the majority but late term abortions are just as legal and available...
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  #51  
May 31st, 2012, 01:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irishxrose View Post
Contrary to popular belief, abortion IS being responsible. If someone knows that they cannot carry a child for whatever reason, cannot CARE for a child for whatever reason, then I do not believe that forcing them to carry a pregnancy and be a parent is in either the woman's best interest OR the child's, as the child very well could be abused, neglected and all sorts of other issues that can come up even while the woman is still pregnant. Why hurt the woman or child that would be born? The woman uses her CHOICE to have an abortion, just like you have that same choice to give birth and keep the child, or another woman has the choice and carries the pregnancy and chooses to adopt the child out. They are ALL RESPONSIBLE CHOICES. Whether you like abortion or not, I can't believe anyone would actually prefer for women to be FORCED to carry a pregnancy and then FORCED to parent a child they don't want. What a great way to screw up not only the woman but also the child! Yes, that is so responsible, to screw up more women and more kids just because "it's a life!". Forcing a woman to keep a pregnancy and forced to be a parent because of your personal beliefs is not responsible to me - that's tyrannical.

Anyway, point being, whether you like abortion or not, it IS the MOST RESPONSIBLE CHOICE for some women - and whether you like it or not, there are some instances in which a child should NEVER be born into. Not everything in this world is sunshine and puppies, and adoption is not always an option either that is always sunshine and puppies either. Point blank - abortion is not some great evil that needs to be eradicated and that it is somehow "irresponsible". A mother who already has four children of her own, works two jobs already, is married, her husband has been laid off, they struggle daily just to feed, clothe and care for the four children they already have, she gets pregnant while on birth control and using a condom, has no access to medical insurance or welfare because she falls just over the limit... how is that woman supposed to adequately care for that pregnancy and the resulting child while still caring for her already existing children and husband and working two jobs to do that? HOW is that irresponsible for her to get an abortion when her circumstances clearly make it impossible for her to carry a pregnancy to term and care for that child? That's not irresponsible - that is being responsible for her family. And you can claim all day that scenario doesn't happen that often - but it does, and you also need to realize that not everyone lives in a sunshine and puppies world, and women, for whatever reason they hold, should not be forced to carry a pregnancy when they do not wish to. I rather like the autonomy over my own body and my reproductive system, and I find it absolutely appalling that other women presume that they can tell other women what to do with their own reproductive organs simply because they believe that their beliefs that it's a life trumps another woman's rights. The child is not yours. The body is not yours. It is NOT your decision.
here are four scenarios in which I would love to describe to you. There's a girl who drinks is 14 and the dad is deadbeat her parents are drunks she becomes pregnant she goes on to have five more kids guess what? She made it through even though she chose to parent. There's 22 year old women who's pregnnt with her second child by a man she finds out is a pedophile who's family is highly filled with alcoholics. Her daughter makes it through to have 9 children with a man who owns acres of land and is a rich farmer and she spends almost 40 years of her life with... She had no issues with alcoholism. She was an ideal housewife...

There's another woman pregnant with her 8th child. They live in the urban area of chicago off the government completely yet her kids still were hungry sometimes in the neighborhood they were in was violent and one of their kids found a dead body supposedly. Her husband was emotionally and physically abusive he threatened to kill her on various occasions... She never once thought to abort reason why was the answer wasn't to kill her baby it was to get away from man who terrorized her and made her feel like she was endangered. Her daughter grew up and eventually because of her children's friend's mother got her the courage to get away from her husband she eventually moves poverty is still an issue but she moves out of state where government assistance is better and it's a safer neighborhood and a safer home. Her kids grow up happy even without their dad. Her daughter her eighth child becomes a doctor. She shows she's exceptionally bright early in her elementary years and it doesn't end. Her daughter proves to have everything every good quality.

There's a 19 year old girl she gets pregnant right before she turns 19. The guy constantly smokes and drinks. He lives with his parents and is 25. He's also mentally disabled. He's not into holding a job. She gets pregnant and her mom's first thing she says are two questions are you marrying him and are you getting government assistance. She lives with her mom and is a hs dropout but attends college. She has a little telemarketing job and she's not interested in the guy like that. She doesn't seem heading anywhere good then she gets worst. The guy she got pregnant by moved into a room of his own and he gets murdered heinously unfortunately. She finds out the baby may not be able to walk. She has dislocated hips and an extended knee that was misdiagnosed before birth. She grows up poor and happy with what she became but feels no issue with no father she's had a good relationship with him even though he died before her birth. She felt he was there for her maybe more than if he were actually alive. She dances ballet did karate briefly and gymnastics and swimming as a child she can run skip dance do whatever. She sometimes thinks life isn't bad if she were back in her wheelchair... She does think her life is more than that. She becomes a good singer and dancer proffesionally...

These are all true stories about my family... You say I don't know that life sometimes isn't perfect but how much further can you get from perfect? You don't get people make it through the impossible and those people can be mom and children... babies really can have the fight to survive if only they were given the same rights and chances everyone else gets. I don't believe in inequality and I believe this inequal to appease seen in higher esteem when basically we're all human
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  #52  
May 31st, 2012, 01:41 AM
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double post sorry

Last edited by newlypregconfusion1; May 31st, 2012 at 01:45 AM.
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  #53  
July 3rd, 2012, 11:38 PM
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  #54  
August 3rd, 2012, 10:08 PM
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I am very anti abortion but for medical reasons like the mother and/or babys life is at risk then I would not look down on someone for having an abortion.

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  #55  
August 15th, 2012, 03:24 PM
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For me, it would only be okay if there were something very wrong. As in a serious medical disorder that would make survival difficult, make living hard/painful/impossible to bear, chance of death for the baby or myself, etc.

As for the general question of "when is it okay", I don't believe that is mine, or anybody else's choice. Women should have the right to have an abortion for whatever reason they choose, regardless of if it's a medical issue, or just because they don't want the baby. It may not be morally right to some, but it's also not anybody's place to shove their morals on somebody else. I'm very much pro-choice, but I don't argue the fact, because it's not my business to. Unless it is me personally having an abortion, I have no right to judge somebody for their choices or tell them that they're right or wrong for it.
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  #56  
August 23rd, 2012, 03:20 PM
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When you don't want the baby,When your life or the baby's life is at risk,rape victim. I don't agree with aborting because of the gender,i think that's downright heartless. However i wont tell someone they can't do it but i don't agree with it.
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  #57  
February 12th, 2014, 11:39 PM
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  #58  
February 13th, 2014, 09:40 AM
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i chose never ok. i was faced the the decsion when i was just 14 years old. and i chose the wonderful experience of adoption. there are other options for any situation other than abortion.
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  #59  
February 14th, 2014, 01:13 PM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 3 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 532
i used to be strictly pro-life, but i've sort of changed a bit.

i think abortion is wrong in certain situations. for example, as a form of birth control, or due to carelessness of someone because you couldn't go out and buy a pack of condoms, or doing it multiple times in a short time frame.

BUT. in violent situations, in ones where one or several methods of BC was used and failed, rape, etc i think it's nessisary.

coming from a rape victim, if i ended up pregnant, i definetly wouldn't want to ride out the duration of my pregnancy and put up for adoption. i wouldn't want to be constantly reminded for nine months about what happened. would i ever get one? probably not. but if a girlfriend comes up to me saying she wants one (which HAS happened) i would never push them away or think differently of them.
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  #60  
February 14th, 2014, 04:21 PM
Rainbow Momma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansa City, MO
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachelc0 View Post
i used to be strictly pro-life, but i've sort of changed a bit.

i think abortion is wrong in certain situations. for example, as a form of birth control, or due to carelessness of someone because you couldn't go out and buy a pack of condoms, or doing it multiple times in a short time frame.

BUT. in violent situations, in ones where one or several methods of BC was used and failed, rape, etc i think it's nessisary.

coming from a rape victim, if i ended up pregnant, i definetly wouldn't want to ride out the duration of my pregnancy and put up for adoption. i wouldn't want to be constantly reminded for nine months about what happened. would i ever get one? probably not. but if a girlfriend comes up to me saying she wants one (which HAS happened) i would never push them away or think differently of them.
If a friend came up to me about having an abortion i would not scold her or anything but i would make sure she knew ALL her options. I feel like women are only given or only think of 2 options, to parent or to abort. and there are all kinds of adoption (open, closed, etc) out there that i dont think when faced with this difficult decsion if women are given all of the possible options. i know i wasnt, i had to figure it out on my own
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