Log In Sign Up

would you abort if you were raped?


Abortion Debate

This forum is for Abortion debate only. If you are highly sensitive about this topic, read at your own discretion.

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

View Poll Results: Would you abort if you were raped?
yes most definitely 91 25.49%
no absolutely not 166 46.50%
not sure 100 28.01%
Voters: 357. You may not vote on this poll

Like Tree1Likes

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Abortion Debate LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #21  
December 11th, 2007, 01:37 PM
chloe82
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Since many people seem to be missing my point, regarding the varying degrees of rape as well as the full scope of the potential physical injuries and/or psychological/emotional trauma, I would like to elaborate:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
Traumatic fistula is ‘an abnormal opening between the reproductive tract of a woman or girl and one or more body cavities or surfaces, caused by sexual violence, usually but not always in conflict and post-conflict settings.’1 It is a result of direct gynaecologic trauma, usually from violent rape, mass rape, including forced insertion of objects such as gun barrels, beer bottles and sticks into a woman’s vagina. The brutal rape can result in genital injury and can lead to the formation of a rupture, or fistula, between a woman’s vagina, her bladder, rectum, or both.

Women with fistula are unable to control the constant flow of urine and/or faeces that leak from the tear. Affected women are often divorced by their husbands, shunned by their communities, and unable to work or care for their families.2

Traumatic fistula, therefore, compounds the psychological trauma, fear and stigma that accompanies rape—with the same risk of unwanted pregnancy, vulnerability to sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV, and diminished opportunities to marry, to work or be participate in the larger community.

Expert surgeons trained in fistula repair can mend the damage. Post-operative care should include trauma counseling, rehabilitation and even physical therapy. As with obstetric fistula, however, some women are unable to heal even after several surgeries, and are left permanently damaged.[/b]
Source
Quote:
Two of the eight youths accused of beating and raping a woman who was jogging in Central Park last week were indicted by a Manhattan grand jury yesterday.

Assistant district attorney Elizabeth Lederer said in Manhattan Criminal Court that Yusef Salaam, the 15-year-old boy who told the police that he had struck the victim with a pipe and took part in her rape, was indicted on a complaint charging him with rape, attempted murder and assault.[/b]
Quote:
At Metropolitan Hospital last night, the victim was put back on the respirator she had been taken off Tuesday.

Stephen Ramaswamy, the hospital's night administrator, said she had developed pneumonia, as bed-ridden patients who cannot clear their lungs of fluid sometimes do. He said she is now getting enough oxygen into her blood, but remains in critical condition in a coma.[/b]
NY Times story
Quote:
The plight of a young Lancashire woman who faces permanent disability after being ruthlessly beaten and raped in Cyprus has shattered the sleepy calm of the island and stirred fierce debate over police handling of sex crimes.[/b]
Quote:
The British tourist was found, partly clothed, bruised and battered in a field. She had been sexually assaulted and beaten with a sharp wooden implement, and had lain there for hours before local residents were alerted by her groans the next day. 'It was very vicious. It is the first time I have encountered anything as severe as this in the all the years I have had this job,' said a state pathologist, Eleni Antoniou. Doctors, who have since conducted extensive surgery, say it was only a matter of luck that she did not die from internal wounds. 'This woman has suffered severe psychological trauma and irreparable physical damage,' said the regional deputy police chief, Costas Melanides.[/b]
Story
Quote:
Bonds are $1 million for two illegal immigrants arrested and charged Thursday in connection with a brutal attack on a recent Mexia High School graduate who was run off a rural road, raped, beaten, stabbed and left to die in a ditch.[/b]
Full story

Quote:
Royi and her 78 year old aunt were attacked and gang raped over two weeks ago outside Royi’s Extension 6 home. Covered in paraffin and set alight, Ngwendu was found by the police unconscious and critically injured. She later died from her injuries in Livingstone Hospital in Port Elizabeth. Royi had been strangled by her attackers, and died by the time the police had reached the scene.[/b]
Story
Quote:
The effects of rape are both physical and psychological.

Physical effects on the victim may include:

injuries from beating or choking, such as bruises, scratches, cuts, and broken bones
swelling around the genital area
bruising around the vagina
injury to the rectal-vaginal area (for example, tearing of the tissue that connects the anus to the vagina)
sexually transmitted diseases (such as, herpes, gonorrhea, AIDS, and syphilis)
possible pregnancy (in a regularly menstruating female).
Psychological effects on the victim may include:

severe anxiety
depression
difficulty concentrating or sleeping
dreaming about what happened
inappropriate guilt feelings
emotional numbness or irritability
flashbacks
nightmares
extreme fear.[/b]
source

What if any of the women in the above stories had become pregnant? Could anyone honestly say that they could forecast their reactions to any of the above scenarios? I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no one, but those women with the experience, has the capacity to comprehend the attack and the emotional aftermath. Again, I fully deny that anyone has the ability to predict their reaction to rape because you cannot forsee the details of the attack and, therefore, cannot make an accurate prediction of what measures and methods would be necessary for your physical and psychological recovery.

I can promise that no amount of personal reflection or consideration to a hypothetical rape would prepare you for the full impact of it's reality. I can tell you that the experience is unimaginable, I would not wish the knowledge of the experience on my worst enemy. In those moments you learn the meaning of total and complete helplessness, desperation, fear, guilt and self loathing. You cannot understand what it is like to, suddenly, not have any control or choice, until those rights to consent are stolen away from you. Your body is not yours and, a lesson many victims will continue to believe after their rape, it is not worthy of any respect. It is the most demeaning form of dehumanization to be forcibly subjugated to such a violation, it is indescribeable.

If you were able to observe a session of a rape survivors group you would be privvy to numerous individuals reveal their stories and the innermost thoughts and feelings that they, personally, associate with their experience. Every story is different and every perspective is different, as well as every reaction.

I respect that everyone has differing, usually passionate, opinions on the issue of abortion, on both sides of the debate. I, for instance, was once vehemently pro-life but I, gradually, gained a different perspective due to various influences. That is not to say that the foundation of the pro-life opinion is weak or unstable, pro-choice POVs have also been shifted to pro-life, just that experience, among other things, has the power to influence our opinions and choices. Every single pro choice person that was once pro-life, and vice versa, never believed that anything could shake them from that position. Up until a few years ago, there was nothing and no one that could or would cause me to dissent from my opinion, until I dissented from my opinion.

I find it to be dismissive of the physical, personal and emotional obstacles that most victims encounter during, both short term and long term, recovery, for anyone to claim to have universal cognizance of the full impact of rape, including and especially the psychological effects. Rape is never the same attack that produces the same results. To clarify, I am not trying to insinuate that anyone is being intentionally insensitive on the issue but the attitude that you "get it" portrays just that, regardless. I acknowledge and admit to my inability to grasp the nature and depth of the emotions resulting from another's personal experience with rape. It is different for every single person. As I have stated, multiple times, there are just too many facets and possibilities, the resulting injuries, phsycial and emotional, are unforseeable, so one's reaction is unimaginable.
[/b][/quote]

Very well written post Stacey. Not sure if I want to 100% back down from everything I said earlier but I'll definitely give you kudos for stating your point clearly and beautifully and making my heart soften towards this debate. Thank you for that!
Reply With Quote
  #22  
December 11th, 2007, 03:11 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,373
Quote:
Very well written post Stacey. Not sure if I want to 100% back down from everything I said earlier but I'll definitely give you kudos for stating your point clearly and beautifully and making my heart soften towards this debate. Thank you for that![/b]
Thank you for opening your mind up to at least consider the possibility that this subject is much more involved than the typical pro-life/pro-choice battle lines.
__________________
Wife, Mother of 4, Homeschooling, and wine drinking.


Reply With Quote
  #23  
December 11th, 2007, 03:39 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 815
No, absolutely not. I wouldn't kill a child for any reason, and I see no reason to kill an innocent child just because something bad happened to me.
__________________
<div align="center"></span></span></span>
</div>
Reply With Quote
  #24  
December 11th, 2007, 04:32 PM
Momo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 8,736

Quote:
Since many people seem to be missing my point, regarding the varying degrees of rape as well as the full scope of the potential physical injuries and/or psychological/emotional trauma, I would like to elaborate:


What if any of the women in the above stories had become pregnant? Could anyone honestly say that they could forecast their reactions to any of the above scenarios? I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no one, but those women with the experience, has the capacity to comprehend the attack and the emotional aftermath. Again, I fully deny that anyone has the ability to predict their reaction to rape because you cannot forsee the details of the attack and, therefore, cannot make an accurate prediction of what measures and methods would be necessary for your physical and psychological recovery.

I can promise that no amount of personal reflection or consideration to a hypothetical rape would prepare you for the full impact of it's reality. I can tell you that the experience is unimaginable, I would not wish the knowledge of the experience on my worst enemy. In those moments you learn the meaning of total and complete helplessness, desperation, fear, guilt and self loathing. You cannot understand what it is like to, suddenly, not have any control or choice, until those rights to consent are stolen away from you. Your body is not yours and, a lesson many victims will continue to believe after their rape, it is not worthy of any respect. It is the most demeaning form of dehumanization to be forcibly subjugated to such a violation, it is indescribeable.

If you were able to observe a session of a rape survivors group you would be privvy to numerous individuals reveal their stories and the innermost thoughts and feelings that they, personally, associate with their experience. Every story is different and every perspective is different, as well as every reaction.

I respect that everyone has differing, usually passionate, opinions on the issue of abortion, on both sides of the debate. I, for instance, was once vehemently pro-life but I, gradually, gained a different perspective due to various influences. That is not to say that the foundation of the pro-life opinion is weak or unstable, pro-choice POVs have also been shifted to pro-life, just that experience, among other things, has the power to influence our opinions and choices. Every single pro choice person that was once pro-life, and vice versa, never believed that anything could shake them from that position. Up until a few years ago, there was nothing and no one that could or would cause me to dissent from my opinion, until I dissented from my opinion.

I find it to be dismissive of the physical, personal and emotional obstacles that most victims encounter during, both short term and long term, recovery, for anyone to claim to have universal cognizance of the full impact of rape, including and especially the psychological effects. Rape is never the same attack that produces the same results. To clarify, I am not trying to insinuate that anyone is being intentionally insensitive on the issue but the attitude that you "get it" portrays just that, regardless. I acknowledge and admit to my inability to grasp the nature and depth of the emotions resulting from another's personal experience with rape. It is different for every single person. As I have stated, multiple times, there are just too many facets and possibilities, the resulting injuries, phsycial and emotional, are unforseeable, so one's reaction is unimaginable.[/b]
While I didn't read all of that (I don't want to put those horrendous images in my mind) I read a bit and understand what you are saying. That rape can be very brutal. I know this. I don't need to read about the most brutal cases to understand that people are sick. But why would that change what I do? Just because I can't fully grasp what it would be like to go through something like that does not mean that I can't decide beforehand what I would do. I am not dismissing what anyone has gone through or endured because of rape. But my life is based not on the external things that happen in this world but on my relationship with God and his sacrifice. It is because of this and only this that I can say with conviction that I would never have an abortion, ever. Answering this question with a positive yes or no is really dependent on where your moral compass is. And how relative or static it is. For me, it doesn't change based on what happens to me. God is and always has been the same and I can focus on living my life for him and doing his explicit will in my life.
Granted I know it would be hard to go through not only the crime but the pregnancy as well however that's just a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things. 9 months is so short when you think about the life long impact destroying the life inside you would cause.
Violence is not healed through violence.
__________________
~Sara~



Clara's here! 5/13/11

I love my two handsome boys!!!
Jetty - 8/06
Jude - 9/08


Reply With Quote
  #25  
December 11th, 2007, 05:01 PM
chloe82
Guest
Posts: n/a
Momo; well stated and while on the one hand I completely agree with you and could have written that myself.......
I think what I gathered from Stacey which *clicked* in my head and which I believe is worthy of more consideration than I was giving it before, is that it IS difficult, perhaps even impossible, to know for sure how your mind, your compass, your set of morals, your everything, might get thrown off completely or even *just enough* from severe psychological trauma, which can change people beyond what they ever thought possible, to do something you never thought possible before.
I would say that as I know myself and my own beliefs now I can't imagine ever going through with an abortion, even after a rape. I agree...I don't think that rape "justifies" what abortion is or makes it any better, in and of itself...but that wasn't really the question....the question was would you...could you...and I thought I could say no quickly and easily but perhaps I was wrong. I would have to be a psychologically, emotionally changed person from who I am right now to ever be able to go through with it...and the point Stacey was making, I think, is that that kind of change IS possible when you go through something so potentially traumatic and life-changing...and as long as I am a fallible human, that is possible for me as much as the next person. I can see how she found it presumptous for people to instantly say that they would never, ever do such a thing...when in fact (I believe) no person is beyond change...for better or for worse.
Stacey.... I never meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry...I understand how my POV came across as insensitive, dismissive, etc. Like I said before, I can't IMAGINE I'd ever do certain things...can't believe it as I am now...but I don't want to give the impression that I think I am beyond reproach...better than anyone else...less prone to doing something I might not normally do under dire, desperate circumstances than anyone else...it is comforting to think I am but is it totally honest??? Anyways just wanted to say...*hugs*
Reply With Quote
  #26  
December 11th, 2007, 05:39 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: next to Chuck Norris
Posts: 7,373
Quote:
Momo; well stated and while on the one hand I completely agree with you and could have written that myself.......
I think what I gathered from Stacey which *clicked* in my head and which I believe is worthy of more consideration than I was giving it before, is that it IS difficult, perhaps even impossible, to know for sure how your mind, your compass, your set of morals, your everything, might get thrown off completely or even *just enough* from severe psychological trauma, which can change people beyond what they ever thought possible, to do something you never thought possible before.
I would say that as I know myself and my own beliefs now I can't imagine ever going through with an abortion, even after a rape. I agree...I don't think that rape "justifies" what abortion is or makes it any better, in and of itself...but that wasn't really the question....the question was would you...could you...and I thought I could say no quickly and easily but perhaps I was wrong. I would have to be a psychologically, emotionally changed person from who I am right now to ever be able to go through with it...and the point Stacey was making, I think, is that that kind of change IS possible when you go through something so potentially traumatic and life-changing...and as long as I am a fallible human, that is possible for me as much as the next person. I can see how she found it presumptous for people to instantly say that they would never, ever do such a thing...when in fact (I believe) no person is beyond change...for better or for worse.
Stacey.... I never meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry...I understand how my POV came across as insensitive, dismissive, etc. Like I said before, I can't IMAGINE I'd ever do certain things...can't believe it as I am now...but I don't want to give the impression that I think I am beyond reproach...better than anyone else...less prone to doing something I might not normally do under dire, desperate circumstances than anyone else...it is comforting to think I am but is it totally honest??? Anyways just wanted to say...*hugs*[/b]
YES!! YES!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!

I would kiss you if I could! (in a totally hetero way! lol)
__________________
Wife, Mother of 4, Homeschooling, and wine drinking.


Reply With Quote
  #27  
December 11th, 2007, 06:22 PM
chloe82
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
Momo; well stated and while on the one hand I completely agree with you and could have written that myself.......
I think what I gathered from Stacey which *clicked* in my head and which I believe is worthy of more consideration than I was giving it before, is that it IS difficult, perhaps even impossible, to know for sure how your mind, your compass, your set of morals, your everything, might get thrown off completely or even *just enough* from severe psychological trauma, which can change people beyond what they ever thought possible, to do something you never thought possible before.
I would say that as I know myself and my own beliefs now I can't imagine ever going through with an abortion, even after a rape. I agree...I don't think that rape "justifies" what abortion is or makes it any better, in and of itself...but that wasn't really the question....the question was would you...could you...and I thought I could say no quickly and easily but perhaps I was wrong. I would have to be a psychologically, emotionally changed person from who I am right now to ever be able to go through with it...and the point Stacey was making, I think, is that that kind of change IS possible when you go through something so potentially traumatic and life-changing...and as long as I am a fallible human, that is possible for me as much as the next person. I can see how she found it presumptous for people to instantly say that they would never, ever do such a thing...when in fact (I believe) no person is beyond change...for better or for worse.
Stacey.... I never meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry...I understand how my POV came across as insensitive, dismissive, etc. Like I said before, I can't IMAGINE I'd ever do certain things...can't believe it as I am now...but I don't want to give the impression that I think I am beyond reproach...better than anyone else...less prone to doing something I might not normally do under dire, desperate circumstances than anyone else...it is comforting to think I am but is it totally honest??? Anyways just wanted to say...*hugs*[/b]
YES!! YES!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!

I would kiss you if I could! (in a totally hetero way! lol)
[/b]
I think a miracle just happened here!
Reply With Quote
  #28  
December 11th, 2007, 07:38 PM
Mom2DavidandAaron's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Mexico City
Posts: 3,227
Quote:
Thank you for opening your mind up to at least consider the possibility that this subject is much more involved than the typical pro-life/pro-choice battle lines.[/b]
That's why I couldn't give a concrete answer even if I'm pro-life. There are so many variables to consider, it's very difficult to say without a single doubt what I'd do in that situation.
Let's say, G-d forbid, that happened to me now. Maybe I'm able to deal with at least the pregnancy and then give the baby for adoption, but I'm married now and I have kids and I have to think about their well-being as well. Could my dh see me going through a pregnancy like that? What about my kids? Could we, as a family, deal with that and move on with our lives if the baby is given for adoption? I really don't know. I really don't wanna know. And I hope this question remains hypothetical for all fo us.

Sharon
Reply With Quote
  #29  
December 11th, 2007, 07:59 PM
Momo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 8,736
Quote:
Momo; well stated and while on the one hand I completely agree with you and could have written that myself.......
I think what I gathered from Stacey which *clicked* in my head and which I believe is worthy of more consideration than I was giving it before, is that it IS difficult, perhaps even impossible, to know for sure how your mind, your compass, your set of morals, your everything, might get thrown off completely or even *just enough* from severe psychological trauma, which can change people beyond what they ever thought possible, to do something you never thought possible before.
I would say that as I know myself and my own beliefs now I can't imagine ever going through with an abortion, even after a rape. I agree...I don't think that rape "justifies" what abortion is or makes it any better, in and of itself...but that wasn't really the question....the question was would you...could you...and I thought I could say no quickly and easily but perhaps I was wrong. I would have to be a psychologically, emotionally changed person from who I am right now to ever be able to go through with it...and the point Stacey was making, I think, is that that kind of change IS possible when you go through something so potentially traumatic and life-changing...and as long as I am a fallible human, that is possible for me as much as the next person. I can see how she found it presumptous for people to instantly say that they would never, ever do such a thing...when in fact (I believe) no person is beyond change...for better or for worse.
Stacey.... I never meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry...I understand how my POV came across as insensitive, dismissive, etc. Like I said before, I can't IMAGINE I'd ever do certain things...can't believe it as I am now...but I don't want to give the impression that I think I am beyond reproach...better than anyone else...less prone to doing something I might not normally do under dire, desperate circumstances than anyone else...it is comforting to think I am but is it totally honest??? Anyways just wanted to say...*hugs*[/b]
I get that part of what she was trying to say. I get it. I just think that my identity in Christ would ultimately give me the strength I need to stay true to what I believe. I am not saying this in a way that I am stronger than anyone, rather God would give me the strength to do the impossible. God, not me, not my own self will, but God.
I don't know how being a victim would change me but ultimately it wouldn't change who I am in Christ and who I live for. I can't predict what my reaction would be outright but I can say with honesty that I would never deny my faith and I could never take another life to ease the pain in my own.
I can understand someone choosing to abort to an extent. It's just not a choice I would make. Period.
__________________
~Sara~



Clara's here! 5/13/11

I love my two handsome boys!!!
Jetty - 8/06
Jude - 9/08


Reply With Quote
  #30  
December 17th, 2007, 10:59 PM
kadydid
Guest
Posts: n/a
With all due respect to Stacey and her very valid points, I can honestly say, I would have no desire to carry a pregnancy that was the result of a rape. I would HOPE that I would have been mentally okay and brave enough to go to the police and take a MAP right after it happened, but from personal experience I know that is not always the easiest thing to do. (I could not face turning him in) I know in my heart I would have aborted if he would have impregnated me....
Reply With Quote
  #31  
December 19th, 2007, 09:22 PM
*Jackie*
Guest
Posts: n/a
Absolutely. If I didn't I would treat that child differently and/or hate-resent him or her.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
December 20th, 2007, 01:45 PM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,230
I am going to go with No...never.

I know that answer will rub someone the wrong way because I have never been in that situation but it is my personal answer just the same.

Having lost a pregnancy I have no desire to EVER go through anything like that again...for whatever reason.

I would trust that God would strengthen me enough to deal with what happened and give me the ability to love my child unconditionally.
__________________












***Don't expect me to lie to you just because you won't like the truth.***
Reply With Quote
  #33  
January 28th, 2008, 06:39 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 766
No - absolutely not!!
__________________
Gisela married with Michael, 7 childs - Michael 02.02.1984, Jessica 04.11 1992, Carmen 12.24.2004, Johanna 07.31.2007 , Alexander 09.15.2008
Christine 10.26.2009 and Ana Lena 05.07.2011























Reply With Quote
  #34  
January 31st, 2008, 01:44 PM
shadowdweller's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: salt lake, utah
Posts: 2,269
i had to answer "not sure". being very much anti-abortion, that bothers me some. but the point has been made that there are varying degrees of trauma with rape, both physical and psychological, and even a rape survivor like myself cannot be sure that in a different set of circumstances we would make the same decision, no matter how strong our faith is. had i been impregnated by my rapist at 15, no, i would not have aborted, but given the baby up for adoption. i could not raise a child that was the result of rape. it was something i thought about A LOT in the wait for my next period, and i made my choice. but being older and having a different set of life circumstances to consider- not to mention that another rape would likely be far more physically brutal than the one i experienced, because of the person i have become- i cannot say with 100% certainty that i could make the same choice. i hope i could, and i think i would, but...
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #35  
January 31st, 2008, 02:50 PM
Mommy_2_Andrew's Avatar Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Montpelier,Virginia
Posts: 19
No, I would not abort. I find it unfair to punish a child for something someone else did. It gets on my nerves to hear people say "well if the father did such a thing then the kid is going to be screwed up just like him". My friends uncle is a murderer, he killed a man right infront of one of his children. He has three kids, two of which are in college and both are living normal life's and never been in trouble while the other is about to go into his teen years and is totally normal.

Just because a parent of a child is a monster does not mean that child will be a monster, there are many kids out there with rapist, murderers, child abusers, etc.. as fathers or mothers and they go on to live a normal and happy life.

Now when it comes to if I would actually keep the baby I honestly have no clue, I think I would consider adoption depending on how hard it is. I may have the baby and try to see how it goes for a few weeks and if I can not handle it I would give it up for adoption but would like it to be open as there are just to may sick people these days who adopt children and abuse them, I want to be sure the baby is being cared for
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #36  
January 31st, 2008, 03:39 PM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ontario canada
Posts: 5,888
ITA with what Stacey said, its NOT black and white. Its not an easy situation and I hate that there are women that have to deal with this BS everyday all over the world. No two people react the same to the same situation, no matter WHAT the situation is, be it rape, breaking up with a SO, losing a job, etc. Everyones different, have different reactions, emotions, views, and opinions. Thats what makes us people.

I hate to admit that almost every girl I know has been raped at one point or another. From those girls, and myself included, it was someone we knew. A couple of them bugged me for years to tell them what happened to me. They are severely emotionally traumatized and cant get over it and they felt that me talking about it would help me. I told them about it and they said that they felt bad for feeling sorry for themselves because their experience wasnt "as bad" as mine and how Im dealing with it. I told them Im aware I was a victim, wasnt my fault so I dont allow myself to be bothered by it. Not everyone can do that. I told them not to feel bad, everyone is different, and what happened to them does not make it any less worse. Thankfully, none of us ever got pregnant. If any of them did and got an abortion, I would NOT hold it against her.

Had I gotten pregnant, yes I would have gotten an abortion as soon as I found out. Im pro choice as long as its NOT used as a birth control, Im totatlly against that. And before 8 weeks. Any farther than that just bothers me. I would get one because I know I wouldnt be able to be pregnant just to give up a baby to adoption. I wouldnt want a child to grow up wondering why his/her parents didnt want them. I dont want the child to find out possibly that I was the mother and have no idea who the father was/that the fater is a POS, and especially that the child was a result of rape. IE, a result of extreme violence by a deadbeat, an unwanted pregnancy.

I wouldnt want to keep the baby for the very same reasons. I wouldnt want my child to know that they were "unplanned" and to know that their dad was a POS. I also know that the child would be a constant reminder in the back of my mind of how he/she was conceived and I dont want to take it out on the child if I were to get upset over something or treat the child badly without even realizing it.

I do know grown people that are result of rape, and it bothers the crap out of them knowing that they are the result of rape. One is extremely close to his mom (hes 19) but that will always be in the back of his head. He will NOT admit that to anyone but his mom and pretends to be happy. He told his mom if he knew who the guy was he would kill him. Thats just ONE example, naturally not all would be the same. I just cant imagine putting a child through that. I was planned, I was wanted, I have no idea what it would be like to find out I was unwanted and the result of my mother being a victim of extreme violence. Theres way more to consider in the big picture than just whether or not to get an abortion imo.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #37  
February 2nd, 2008, 12:30 PM
AlaynasMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ny
Posts: 7,219
Send a message via AIM to AlaynasMommy Send a message via Yahoo to AlaynasMommy
Quote:
Now when it comes to if I would actually keep the baby I honestly have no clue, I think I would consider adoption depending on how hard it is. I may have the baby and try to see how it goes for a few weeks and if I can not handle it I would give it up for adoption but would like it to be open as there are just to may sick people these days who adopt children and abuse them, I want to be sure the baby is being cared for[/b]
Yes. I am agreeing with this. I wouldn't abort at all. It's not fair to punish the child for something their father did that was very wrong. Keeping the child would be another story. It would probably remind me of the pain and trauma that the situation caused, so I'd definitely consider adoption in this case. There are so many people out there who can't have children who want, so badly, to have a child.
__________________
krissy
Mommy to Alayna Danielle & Olivia Nichole

Reply With Quote
  #38  
February 2nd, 2008, 12:50 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 140
*nods*
^what she said^

Adoption would be the way I would go in that circumstance.
__________________


^thanks erica!




^if you are wondering... it didn't happen. Evil AF. We're on a break for 90 days (insurance/job issues).
Reply With Quote
  #39  
February 3rd, 2008, 01:52 PM
winnowill's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,565
I wouldn't have an abortion. I don't think I would keep it though but I'm not sure. I mean after all the baby would be a piece of me too. I don't think I could be for sure unless I was put in the situation.
__________________






Reply With Quote
  #40  
February 6th, 2008, 07:35 PM
Default User's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 371
If I got pregnant through rape, I would most certainly abort. I know I could not be a mother to a baby from a rape, and I think carrying to term would make me suicidal. It's just about my biggest nightmare. I love kids, I want to be a mother, but you know, I just couldn't stay pregnant if it was the result of a rape.

My sister had to make this choice after being date raped. I hope to never find myself in that space.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:48 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0