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This is going to be a long post, but I just need to get all my thoughts outta my head and really have no one else to talk to about it... Some background.... Me, BF and Braylon all live at my parents... Braylon has a room upstairs that I stay in with him and BF usually sleeps down stairs in the basement. They wanted us to move in and we help out, with food, cleaning, electric bill etc... my brother who is a Dr mind you... has a 2 year old son who is a couple months younger than Braylon... his son lives in Georgia with his mother.. my brother pays $1000 a month in childsupport and has seen his son 3 times in the past year for a week at a time... My brother lives at my cousins house but since he has no "baby" related stuff stays at my parents to while he has his son and uses all of my stuff for Braylon..
On Saturday he was going with my father to pick up his son 6 hours away... they went to pull out and I said ummm do you have a car seat for him... brothers response was IDK "mom does Jameson have a car seat here?" seriously he is your son... so me being the nice person I am gives him Braylons good car seat to use... Braylon has been sick and hasn't went anywhere but guess where his car seat is still in my brothers vechile (he couldn't even take it out and return it) Braylon has a big boy booster seat he uses to eat at and we have his highchair for Jameson to use... well guess what my brother keeps putting his son in Braylon's booster seat, I have asked him countless times to knock it off but nope there he is always in the booster seat... These may seem petty but my brother is a user.. this is my stuff I BOUGHT my son, I love my nephew and went out of my way to have accomidations for him when he is there.. but why should Braylon get the shaft... I gave my bro Braylons pack and play to use well guess what he left it in Georgia when he left so now I am without a pack and play for this baby... I send alot of Braylons smaller clothes to Jameson, I treat them equal when they are together, I do not give one something withouth the other... My brother will give his some a juice box or fruit snacks (which are Braylons that I bought) and not give Braylon one... he has NEVER once said thank you for me ANYTHING... I understand my parents are in a bind because they want to see there grandson so they don't say anything to my brother... but I am sick of my son feeling left out whenever it is his seat, his food, his toys...
I am so proud of him for being such a good little sharer.. crying now that a 2 year old is more considerate than his 26 year old uncle who acts like he doesn't exist most of the time... also my brother is a Chiropracter who works from like 8-12 and 2-7 comes home for his 2 hour break and sleeps while my mother who worked hootowl all night stays up all day and watches his son... who puts his son to bed at 8 everynight so really only spends 1 hour with him... who goes gambling to a casino while his son is there, who goes to shoot darts, or out to the bar when his son is there that he never sees... who can take off work to spend time with his girlfriend but can't take a day off to spend with his son... who uses my sons diapers and clothing while he is here... who yells at my son for playing with one of his sons toys ( that I bought for him) SERIOUSLY!!!! Sorry this is so long and I could write more... if you read this you are a saint... I just want to say I apperciate Braylon to no end he is the most thoughtful, helpful, loving little boy I could ask for I am truly blessed
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My boys.... Braylon (5/25/07), Harrison (12/31/09) and Baby Hudson (4/24/12)
I felt like this before I was pregnant LOL... i am all about treating fairly... and my parents totaly love Braylon and are great with him, so I understand they want to spend time with there other grandson... I also understand Jameson is in new surroundings and isn't desiplined... he is bad though and gets away with it... like I said Braylon does one thing and my brother is yelling at him... why can't he use his head and think about other people for once especailly the 2 little boys that are being hurt.. maybe I am too caring of a person... I don't expect anything in return but a THANK YOU
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My boys.... Braylon (5/25/07), Harrison (12/31/09) and Baby Hudson (4/24/12)
I know you love your nephew, but donīt offer your brother help anymore.
If he doesnīt have a car seat, well, thatīs just too bad, you need yours.
He doesnīt return your stuff?, ask for it and donīt stop until he brings it back.
He gets mad at your son playing with his sonīs toys?, well, go be a daddy and buy your son a booster chair because he wonīt have his cousinīs to borrow anymore.
Just stop pampering your brother and make him be responsible for his son.
Iīm sorry for being nosy, but I just hate people taking advantage of the situation.
He has money, he has decided to bring a son into the world, BE RESPONSIBLE. Do what you have to and stop running around for help like you donīt know any better.
My sister (22 years old) used to complain she didnīt have any money for buying the clothing she liked and always came to my house to borrow something. Until I put a stop to it.
She didnīt have any money because she didnīt want to work. She lives with my mom and my dad pays for her studies (which are part time and at night, so she HAS time to work). So I told her to drop the act and get a life.
Of course she was mad for a week or so, but she understood it and now she works part time and gets to do whatever she wants with that money and loves it
__________________ *** Thank you :shortcake: for my beautiful siggie ***
Thanks, I just wish he would grow up... take responsibilty... I understand I can't control him, that he is his own person... but come off it, you see your son for a week every couple months make it special for him, don't act all loving in front of people and act like the worlds greatest father and how bad you are getting screwed... then put your son to sleep so you can go talk to your girlfriend for 5 hours... I was a single parent to and I did get to go out at times, but my son is with me, I support him, I want to be there... so sorry to bother you guys with this... I am just dreading going home at 5... I am seriously gonna loose it
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My boys.... Braylon (5/25/07), Harrison (12/31/09) and Baby Hudson (4/24/12)
See?, thatīs my point.
People who are comfortable with their situation donīt change it just "because"
Your brother seems to be very comfortable with this. Hey, he gets to see his son, get his parents to look after him so he can continue with his single life and his sister to provide the items he needs.
Why should he change?
I bet he doesnīt even think about this.
Donīt get me wrong. I donīt think your brother is a bad person. Not at all!. My sisters are great but they get carried away if we leave them. Itīs just their nature.
So whenever something bothers me, I confront them, out of love, not anger or jealousy.
If your parents are not seeing this or canīt face him because they think your brother is going to take your nephew away, you have to.
Your brother will be upset and you may even fight, but if we donīt have someone who cares about us when we are getting off track, God only knows where we will be.
__________________ *** Thank you :shortcake: for my beautiful siggie ***
This is a tough situation. You really have been a good sister. But now it's time to start backing away and setting some boundaries. As Amazona suggested, I'd ask for my things back and make sure they're returned. I wouldn't lend anymore baby gear, particularly since they're not returned.
The toy issue is more difficult to resolve since kids play with each others toys all the time, and we encourage them to share. Again, I'd have a talk with your brother about this issue too. You're justifiably angry, but plan out your key points and talk calmly with your brother. I'm afraid if you don't, you'll explode and say things you'll regret later. Just my thoughts......
I agree have it out with him while you can blame it on hormones. he needs to hear it. I'd lay it all out, how he's selfish for going out with his GF but not spending time with his son.
You ladies are both right... I let him "borrow" the car seat because I knew if he got there and didn't have one my father would be the one in wal mart buying one... not my cheap brother who can go out drinkning, wear top of the line clothes etc... while me I can' even go buy maternity clothes for at least 2 more weeks... but Braylon has everything he needs and that is how it should be... I try to make stuff special for him... as far as Jamesons toys... he brought 2 a fake cell phone and a baby rattle (don't ask he is 2) I bought them those punching bag things (balloons) well I made sure to get 2 different colors got a red and a yellow... they boys loved them... well last night Braylon picked up Jameson and started playing with it.. My brother had Braylon crying to get his own... I helped Braylon find him... only 10 minutes later there is Jameson playing with Braylons... but I ain't supposed to get upset... it wasn't even like Jameson wanted it to begin with... Braylon also got himself and Jameson new straw sippy cups, he was so proud to give it to "Bub" (Braylon's name for Jameson) my bro just sat there like nuttin... all Braylon needed was a thank you or a ohh that was nice of you... he is 2 and would share anything he had with Bub... but why should I set my child up for being disapointed and just continuing to make my brothers life easier.. oh and I didn't mention that my nephew is a whaa whaa and all he eats is cereal and cookies...
Also I know I am letting my brother off easy and believe me it is by no means that I want to help him... I just don't want my nephew to feel left out.. hense why when I am with them they get the exact same thing... this is the last week I have ot deal with it.. we are moving out by Nov 10th... and believe me I am taking all of Braylons stuff with me... so it won't be at my parents
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My boys.... Braylon (5/25/07), Harrison (12/31/09) and Baby Hudson (4/24/12)
SamF he took off work to go on trips with her, he spends his lunch break on the phone with her or sleeping, he puts his son to bed at 8 and goes and talks to her till midnight, she has seen his son 2 times and lives 10 minutes away, he can take off work for his friends or to go somewhere... but take a day off while your son is here is unheard of... let your mother who is working hootowl everynight watch your son during the day yet when you come home for lunch don't even offer to let her lay down and u watch him... Braylon was sick Monday night with the croup bad we had him at the ER till 4 am I was coming into work late yesterday at 11... my mom said she would watch Braylon too... well she hadn't slept and wasn't feeling good... so I stayed home from work... he came home for 2 hours during his lunch and let me watch his kid while he slept... umm hello I watched your kid all day, I changed his diapers I fed him... I delt with his tantrums that the whole neighborhood heard because he has a bad temper... any thank you... NO... I keep getting madder LOL
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My boys.... Braylon (5/25/07), Harrison (12/31/09) and Baby Hudson (4/24/12)
I know you love your nephew, but donīt offer your brother help anymore.
If he doesnīt have a car seat, well, thatīs just too bad, you need yours.
He doesnīt return your stuff?, ask for it and donīt stop until he brings it back.
He gets mad at your son playing with his sonīs toys?, well, go be a daddy and buy your son a booster chair because he wonīt have his cousinīs to borrow anymore.
Just stop pampering your brother and make him be responsible for his son.
Iīm sorry for being nosy, but I just hate people taking advantage of the situation.
He has money, he has decided to bring a son into the world, BE RESPONSIBLE. Do what you have to and stop running around for help like you donīt know any better.
I totally agree! I would stop offering things to him because he obviously doesn't have the courtesy to return things in a prompt manner. He needs to step up to the plate and be a dad. Geez!
