[Amazona]

Max has been refusing (and i mean flat out refusing, screaming, kicking, crying hysterically, scratching and all that jazz) to sleep alone.
I don't know what to do!
He was super fine until last Thursday. NOTHING changed, I don't know why is this.
It's not about sleeping in our bed either. It's about not sleeping alone :/

My therapist said to try Seb in his own room and see if that helps because he might be feeling left out.
So last night I tried that. Seb in his room and then I laid with Max until he fell asleep.
But Seb woke up at 1:30am and so did Max and he refused to go back to his room.

We have already tried getting mad at him, letting him cry, turning on a light. Nothing works. He won't even stay in his room!
It's like we are murdering him every time we try!

Has anyone BTDT?
Anyone have any suggestions I can try?
He still doesn't speak so he won't tell me what is wrong
We have an appt in Sept to get him help. He does not have a "speech problem" because he says words and short phrases in all 3 languages and responds to all 3, but I am sick of waiting for him to "click" and start talking or at least adding more words.

I swear this kid is a demon child.
His brother almost STTN at 7 weeks and he still wakes up every hour and a half at 2.5 yrs old. FML.

[Heaven]

Hey Paola....I recently posted about a similar challenge we were having with Jenna. There were some good suggestions. I only tried the being consistent one because it happened to work and we didn't need to do more (like add a gate at the door, which i would have tried if this would have continued...)

http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...g-out-bed.html (Getting out of bed...)

It's probably just one of those phases...and maybe it's just hitting him now that Seb is a new addition. I mean for us, we had moved 2 months ago, first nights in the new house, new room, new bed and she was doing awesome, until a month later and the whole sleep drama started! we FINALLY got her to sleep in her bed, alone and have had successful nights. She may still wake up in the middle of the night and come to our room but we've been very consistent about having to put her back in her bed after we give her some hugs and cuddles.

I found what works is when i set her expectations...like "mommy will lay next to you for a little bit and then i have to go finish my work"..she didn't buy it at first but after repeatdly saying it, (threatening to take away her cuddle blankey or teddy if she gets out of bed), she finally got the point that she HAS to stay in bed and if she comes to our room, she will end up back in her bed. We do a lot of "give and take" with her...the negotiation sucks and its draining but i find it better than having to yell all night long and getting too frustrated. I promise her things for the next day...like "tomorrow you're going to daycare and you will have so much fun and you will play outside" and basically i get her all excited about the next day and that she first has to sleep in order to get to the fun part.

Im sorry im not much help..but i totally feel what you're going through. its exhausting and frustrating...especially when YOU are tired and sleep deprived or have to care for a newborn! Hang in there...it will pass!

[*SamF*]

The only way we got CJ to stay in his room at first was to have Jim actually sleep up there with him. we just set up the air mattress for him. Jim stayed up there a lot longer than he needed too (this was all while I was very very pregnant). But now we just stay with him till he falls asleep. He will wake up a few times at night, we just tell him to go back to bed and stay with him till he falls asleep- but since we took the air mattress out we also end up falling asleep on his floor.

We tread a pretty fine line. We don't want him to feel like he isn't welcome in our bed, because their was a study not to long ago that linked adult obesity to not being allowed in the parents bed.

[Amazona]

Tonight has been better.
No screaming at least. I laid down with him and then left (after about 1hr).
Then he woke up at 1am w/Seb.
I moved him back at 1:30
Then he came at 2, back to his bed.
Then at 3 we just decided to let him stay. It's better than it's been in a week, so... I guess I'll take it.

[caring21]

Honestly, I think time will work things out for you. It's so frustrating and tiring... Since buying William his big bed, we've had really good nights and some bad. It's so easy for them to change their habits at this age, so I find setting a routine and being consistent is the key. Most important is lots and lots of patience and I know when I'm tired I just have none left. I know I'm not much help, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone it seems most of us have bad sleepers around here! I even get kicked out of my own bed. When William comes and is kicking me in his sleep I just go in his bed... I hope Max can get back into a good sleeping routine soon, so you can all get some rest!

[*SamF*]

I think Lindsay hit it- time will help this. I really think this is a normal phase for some kids. Last night CJ ony woke up twice and I think the second time was because Lizzy was crying.

[megpie]

Is laying down with him setting him up for this??? If you have to be there so long with him and then he wakes up I would think he would expect you to still be there in the middle of the night???


Do you have the same routine each night?


Do you use a night light? Music? Crib Aquarium? Lovie? Stuffed Animal? Blanket?


Was he like this before Seb was born?

[Nicole1110]

The only advice I have is from one of my therapists. He said establish a routine like reading a book, singing a lullaby or whatever. Then tell your LO you are leaving and wait by the door. When he gets up, put him back to bed. Keep waiting for him to get up and keep putting him back to bed, and obviously keep your cool about it and explain that he needs to sleep in his own bed. He said it may take a week or two weeks but eventually the child will just adapt to the routine. It's something I have yet to implement because well, I value my sleep and it's easier for me to just let Major sleep in my bed than be up and down all night. But eventually I will have to bite the bullet and do it because DH and I have zero intimacy with a 2 y/o in our bed.

[Amazona]

Originally Posted by megpie

Is laying down with him setting him up for this??? If you have to be there so long with him and then he wakes up I would think he would expect you to still be there in the middle of the night???

Do you have the same routine each night?

Do you use a night light? Music? Crib Aquarium? Lovie? Stuffed Animal? Blanket?

Was he like this before Seb was born?

I'll try to be more specific.
While we went through hell after we switched him to a toddler bed, that was a year ago and we went through stages similar to this at the time (18 months old).

Nothing changed now. We still continued the same routine: let him stay up until he's tired (usually around 10pm), taking him by the hand, tuck him in, kiss, give him his frog and leave.
But he started screaming and yelling and throwing a MAJOR tantrum out of the blue!. As I he was either REALLY afraid of something. That was my first thought.
But we tried everything to make sure he wasn't afraid and no results.
He was flat out refusing to enter his room at bedtime. He's ok there any other time, even playing at night before bed (we tried that too).

So we moved Seb to his room 2 nights ago.
First night both woke up at the same time and Max refused to leave ever since (I value my sleep just like Nicole and there's a limit to what I will tolerate in the night).
Second night he came at 1:30 when he heard Seb, back to his room when he was asleep, then came back at 2am, back, 3am and we just let him stay... But he didn't refuse to be put to bed the other times (no crying/screaming).
Tonight it's only midnight but he is still asleep.
Fingers crossed he stays there until 5am at least!!

Also, I started laying in bed with him, let him watch Pajanimals on Netflix (1 episode) and stay until he's passed out.
But the good thing is that he is not paranoid anymore. Before, he would sense even if I was breathing differently! If I moved, he jumped like a spring, no matter how much time he had been asleep. It was like he was never really falling asleep and was always vigilant and alert.
Now he's passing out hard.

I'll keep you posted but I hope we're headed into the right direction.
Thanks for your support as always!