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My name is Nickie and I need someone to listen to me... I want nothing more than to have just one more baby and everyone, doctors, family, friends are telling me it is not a good idea.
For a little background, I am a 27 year old mother of three with one devastating miscarraige as well, about 2 years ago right before I got pregnant with my youngest. My children are 6, 3, and 1 and are EVERYTHING to me. I live, breathe and exist for my children. I have never wanted to do anything else with my life but be the best mommy I can be. and enjoy every moment we share.
All of my pregnancies have been risky.. My first, Isabella was born at 26 weeks by c-section to do severe preecclampsia, my second, Holden I had severe depression and anxiety as well as a rough case of gestational diabetes, my third pregnancy miscarried and destroyed me, wanting very much to be pregnant came Scarlett who apparently was risky due to my uterine wall and scar site being so thin.
Which leads me to my current dilemma.. I want one more baby, boy or girl, just one more. I can swear to get a hysterectomy on the table directly after my c-section... I want this more than anything I have ever wanted, and have all the faith in God that he will see me through. However, doubt does set in - I am only human.
My doctor is concerned mainly about rupture and also the placenta going through my scar site and attatching itself to my bladder.. therefore needing bladder surgery to have my baby.
I had several tear-filled appointments with my doctor, asking every question, research, ultrasounds, and he still says it is very risky in his opinion. At the end of our last visit he told me "IF you do 'happen' to become pregnant I will NOT abort the baby, and we will do everything we can to deliver that baby safely". In other words, if I still wanted to, he would do all he could to help us.
The dr. also said that the chances of anything going wrong are extremely low, however if something did, it could be very serious, hence his disapproval.
I need help, I need advice, I need encouragement... anyone who has had similar stories, anyone who took the chance anyway and have a beautiful new baby, anyone who can help.. please, this is the hardest decision of my life, and I want nothing more...
Thank you so much for reading my story and for any words you might offer to help me with my troubles. God Bless.
Nickie, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think this is one of those decisions that only you can make--you know the risks, and you've got to decide whether you think they're worth facing. Well, you and your DH or SO, I mean, it takes two to tango. But seriously, I haven't walked in your shoes so it's hard for me to say...but know that whatever you decide, I wish the absolute best for you!
I agree with Beth. Only you and Dh can make that decision. I would want hard numbers from my OB to help me make the decision. I am a numbers and percentage person. I hope that you are able to make a decision that you are at peace with.