Log In Sign Up

Has your high-risk pregnancy affected your decision to have (more) children?


Forum: High Risk Pregnancy

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To High Risk Pregnancy LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 30th, 2007, 08:19 AM
sprouthead's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Nashua, NH
Posts: 1,385
Send a message via AIM to sprouthead Send a message via MSN to sprouthead
I was just wondering how other people were feeling about having more children, or if you're pregnant and knew you were going to have a high-risk pregnancy, how you decided (if you did decide) to have more children.

I was put on bedrest at week 28 for my pregnancy and my dr feels that I could have my baby any day, and is hoping that I make it to between 34 and 36 weeks before delivering. My dh and i definitely want at least one sibling for our little guy, but I definitely don't want to get pregnant again. I haven't enjoyed being pregnant so far, and I definitely don't see myself being able to raise a little boy in the manner that I want to if I'm on bedrest, and I could go without the stress about worrying about another preemie (and then detract the care from my firstborn that a preemie may require). The solution for me seemed easy, that I would adopt after this. However, my dh is not in total agreement with this. I can't tell if it's just because he associates children who are adopted with having disabilities or attachment issues that he doesn't want to deal with, or if it's something else.

I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this process and how they came to decisions, or what they're thinking about.

Thanks!
__________________
<div align="center">Remembering LKJ- Always in our hearts and in our thoughts</div>
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 30th, 2007, 09:41 AM
kkhadivar
Guest
Posts: n/a
my feelings on the subject almost exactly match yours right now. i'm on day 82 of bedrest and cannot imagine doing this all over again...and i don't know how i could take care of a child while being on bedrest. maybe i'll change my mind in a few years. my husband isn't completely convinced about adoption either...although i've always wanted to adopt a child in need of a home, irregardless of my difficult pregnancy. but i think he'll come around after we've been parents for a while.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 30th, 2007, 10:48 AM
sprouthead's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Nashua, NH
Posts: 1,385
Send a message via AIM to sprouthead Send a message via MSN to sprouthead
Quote:
although i've always wanted to adopt a child in need of a home, irregardless of my difficult pregnancy.[/b]

that's exactly how i felt. in fact, i thought that we had already made the decision to adopt another before i was on bedrest, but i think dh was counting on me feeling like i would want to have more of my own after having this one, because all of his female friends told him i would.
__________________
<div align="center">Remembering LKJ- Always in our hearts and in our thoughts</div>
Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 30th, 2007, 03:49 PM
kkhadivar
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
although i've always wanted to adopt a child in need of a home, irregardless of my difficult pregnancy.[/b]

that's exactly how i felt. in fact, i thought that we had already made the decision to adopt another before i was on bedrest, but i think dh was counting on me feeling like i would want to have more of my own after having this one, because all of his female friends told him i would.
[/b]
same here...i always talked about it and it appeared as though he thought it was a good idea. he really has no good reason as to why he feels this way now. but i feel pretty strongly about wanting to adopt, so i'm hoping he'll come around, cuz i really want him to be as excited as me about it.

...let's hope both our husbands snap out of it and see the light!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 30th, 2007, 05:02 PM
MaxsMama's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Grand Haven, Michigan
Posts: 300
I had a complicated pregnancy due to blood pressure problems. Being pregnant was not an enjoyable time for me...physically. It was actually pretty draining mentally too because of the high blood pressure, being put on bedrest, going to the doctors every week sometimes more than once. There was one week i had 3 different appointments....3 different days...yeah...so not fun. BUT...my son was healthy and we are happy now.

I don't think I want to get pregnant again. I am trying to lose weight and get healthier just in case AND just to do it. So, if i did get pregnant or we decided to try again in the future it would possibly lower my risk of the blood pressure issues. Although, my high bp was pregnancy induced. So, i just don't know.

We are happy with our one child and we've talked a little and decided if we didnt have another that would be ok


I forgot to mention that I was on bedrest for the last 3 months of my pregnancy. My baby was delivered by planned c section 2 and a half weeks early. being away from work was nice, but being on bedrest was not my idea of a good time.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #6  
May 1st, 2007, 03:53 AM
anissa's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,868
Send a message via AIM to anissa Send a message via MSN to anissa
From somebody who has been there and made the decision to stop I say you have to decide how many children you will be happy with. With me I am extremely high risk. I have IC due to a surgery I had done on my cervix. I also get GD and Pre-E every time I am RP. My husband also has a messed up Chromosome which puts us very high risk for miscarriages, stillbirth and children with anomalies.

Before my first child I had one miscarriage at 14 weeks. I got PG again right away and my DD came 2 months early after hospital bed rest. I miscarriage my 3rd child and gave stillbirth to my 4th child my second DD. I still refused to give up. I wanted tons of children but would not be happy unless I had at least two. So after losing my DD I got PG again. Ended up on bed rest from 24 weeks until 35 weeks when they induced me due to severe Pre-e. Some call me crazy for this but I knew I would not be happy to call it quits before I got my second child.

So you need to sit down and think hard about what will make you and your family the happiest. For us it was to give my DD a living sibling. I have now been sterilized and still get sad about this sometime. This is a big decision that one must really think about. If not for all my complications I would have more children. But being so high risk has put a stop to that. But I made sure I made a decision I could live with.
__________________
Me Anissa
DH Tom
Kirstin 05/04/03
Gavin Thomas 06/01/06
Emma Grace Born Sleeping 8/4/05 22 Weeks
Some people only dream of holding an Angel I actually held one!
Angel Baby 8/14/02
Angel Baby 12/28/04


Reply With Quote
  #7  
May 1st, 2007, 10:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,449
For me, honestly, I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. This is total hell for me. Week 17 and I have to piss in a pan and not move, not knowing what is going on with my body or my baby....no being able to go #2...playing the waiting game....having hairy legs hehehehehehe. I dont even feel like a woman anymore.
I can't imagine ever going through this again.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 1st, 2007, 11:12 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,449
Quote:
From somebody who has been there and made the decision to stop I say you have to decide how many children you will be happy with. With me I am extremely high risk. I have IC due to a surgery I had done on my cervix. I also get GD and Pre-E every time I am RP. My husband also has a messed up Chromosome which puts us very high risk for miscarriages, stillbirth and children with anomalies.

Before my first child I had one miscarriage at 14 weeks. I got PG again right away and my DD came 2 months early after hospital bed rest. I miscarriage my 3rd child and gave stillbirth to my 4th child my second DD. I still refused to give up. I wanted tons of children but would not be happy unless I had at least two. So after losing my DD I got PG again. Ended up on bed rest from 24 weeks until 35 weeks when they induced me due to severe Pre-e. Some call me crazy for this but I knew I would not be happy to call it quits before I got my second child.

So you need to sit down and think hard about what will make you and your family the happiest. For us it was to give my DD a living sibling. I have now been sterilized and still get sad about this sometime. This is a big decision that one must really think about. If not for all my complications I would have more children. But being so high risk has put a stop to that. But I made sure I made a decision I could live with.[/b]


Your children are so beautiful.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #9  
May 1st, 2007, 02:06 PM
texasmelgal's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 166
Send a message via MSN to texasmelgal Send a message via Yahoo to texasmelgal
Well with me, I never thought I'd have children. I lost our first baby at 18 weeks, my water just broke. They didn't know why. then the second baby at 21 weeks, same thing. This time I got tested and found out I have a bicornute uterus. So we waited to get pg the 3rd time. Had a preventative cerclage put in at 14 weeks and taken out at 36 weeks and had to be induced in the end. that's the pretty little girl u see in my siggy down there. now with this one, it's been pretty much the same thing. I'm not on bed rest but I can't do a whole lot of stuff, no sex, no walking wally world. Just stuff like that. I say I'm not having anymore because of the being put to sleep for the cerclage insertion and just the plain worry that goes on for the whole 40 weeks I'm pg. But I refuse to do anything permanent as far as having babies go. I'll see how crazy 2 kids make me before I decide on the 3rd.
__________________
<span style="font-family:Arial Black">Melinda...Mommy to 2 angels, Ellie Jane, 2 yrs, and Angel Nicole, due in June 2007</span>





Reply With Quote
  #10  
May 1st, 2007, 04:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 4,035
After being on bed rest for the last 3 months, 1 of which was in the hospital I'd have to say no I wouldn't do it again. I have 2 healthy children, and I think that's enough for me. Bed rest almost made me crazy.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
May 1st, 2007, 05:41 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Alabama
Posts: 22,812
I wasnt planning on having anymore after this baby, but even more set on it now with all the preterm labor scares.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #12  
May 15th, 2007, 01:41 PM
sarahp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: An Aussie living in California
Posts: 0
I have an aortic aneurysm, and was never too worried about it. The cardiologist didn't think there'd be any problems, but I finally saw the OB when I was about 10 weeks and she was freaking out, saying I shouldn't be pregnant, and recommending a termination. It took a while for it all to sink in, but when it did I was so upset. My problem is that the risk of me dying is very low, but still high enough for them to be very worried.

Every time I go and have an echocardiogram (heart ultrasound) I'm freaking out, am a nervous wreck, and completely overreact. Every little chest pain I get I worry like mad.

I'd always wanted 2 kids, preferably 3, but it's been so stressful I don't know if I want to go through it again, and I'm only at the (almost) 19 week mark of my pregnancy. I absolutely love the little bean growing inside me and would love a sibling, but DH and I are seriously considering adopting for our second.

If it was a risk that I might get sick, or I might have to have a c-section early or something, that'd be one thing. But the fact that this may kill myself and my baby, or require risky open heart surgery which would mean the baby having to get pulled out early and hoping it lives is just too much to deal with...
__________________

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:44 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0