[kellysmommy]

I am still not sure what group I belong to here. I just found out 2 weeks ago that I am pregnant-I am already 19 weeks pregnant-now before you say how could you not know, let me fill you in. I posted an intro on the newbie section too but here it goes again. I have a son who is almost 7. I had 2 m/c's before I had him and the pregnancy with him was a long one and some complications but despite all of that, I had him at 40 weeks, he was and is nice and healthy! We wanted to try again right away so when he was 5 months old, I went back to my OB and he gave us the ok to try again. I got pregnant right away and as usual started bleeding right away too-I have done this with all of my pregnancies. At 18 weeks, I had an u/s and it showed I was having a girl but I was dilated already and they are not sure of why. I had a rescue cerclage placed that day but I lost my daughter at 19w5d. I went into labor and tore my cerclage out. I delivered my daughter and she died shortly after being born. 2 weeks later I hemorraged and had to have a d&c which caused lots of scarring to my uterus. I had 3 operations, many office procedures and lots of hormones but they were never able to remove all of the scarring. We were devastated, looked at other options and then decided to move on with out lives and enjoy our wonderful son. We haven't been using birth control because we tried for 2 years after my surgeries and nothing happened and with my now thin lining, we were told our chances were slim. We adjusted and moved on but for the past few months I have been feeling really tired and sick. I also was dealing with some depression over some marital problems (way too long to get into). A couple of weeks ago, my ankles were swelling too and I just felt like I was getting so bloated-I had gained weight through all of this too. Well to my complete shock, I found out I am pregnant. I found out at 17 weeks!!!! I am still in shock. Since my surgeries, my periods have been very light, more like spotting and I have been still having that and honestly didn't even think pregnancy could be a reason. I really thought I had something horrible wrong with me. Well so far things look ok. It looks like I am having another girl. I am trying so hard to not be too excited and yet I am so terrified too. It took me so long to recover from losing Kelly. I just don't know what I will do if I lost this baby now too. So now along with being 41, I also have issues with incompetent cervix. My OB was never sure what caused me to be dilated, I had no issues with my cervix with my son. At this point, they don't want to place a cerclage so they are just monitoring my cervix and so far it is measuring long and closed. They think that the scarring from the cerclage is maybe helping too. Anyway I hope to get to know this place better and hope to be able to have a place to vent my fears. I have to keep a brave face for my son who we are going to have to tell soon. I have known about this for 2 weeks now but it is still sinking in. Sorry this is so long!!
Dianne

[Cindermella]

Hi Diane and welcome to the board. Most definately you are high risk.

Hope you make it to term. What a shocker eh?

I usually tell my kids at about 6 months. I figure its safe then and at that point it doesn't matter who they tell lol


I am Mel mom to 9 or 10 depending on how you look at things. Actually next week I will be mom to 11 as my son'
s friend is moving in.

Hi Dianne! Welcome to the board.

i'm so sorry for your loss and for all that you have been through. Sounds like you might have a fighter on your hands, which is really good. My little girl that I am carrying now is a pure fighter and nothing less. I hope this pregnancy goes as smoothly as possible and you can make it to term or to atleast 36 weeks.

Vent away on here! We are all here to listen.

[mommyholly07]

I'd have to agree...you are definetly high risk and have come to the right board...so welcome. I'm sorry you've had such a rough time with pregnancies...but happy that you have a perfect little boy and had no problems with him. Weird isn't it how one pregnancy can go fine and one can be littered with complications that may not have an apparent reason. I can't even begin to know how you feel or what you've been through. I lost a baby at 7W and was considered high risk with my son when they discovered I have an abnormally shaped uterus. I went through many many doctor visits and told all the potential things (incompetant cervix being one of them) that could go wrong...and it turned out to be much easier then any of us expected (though i ended up with a c-section). Now pregnant again I am still high risk and I have had some scary things happen over the course of the pregnancy...it's been a much different road then with my son...and they are monioring me now even closer..but the end is in site for me...just hoping she hangs on until her scheduled arrival date! Good luck to you and I hope you'll continue to keep us all posted on how you're doing.

[kellysmommy]

Thanks for the nice welcomes! They are monitoring my cervix via u/s. I was and am still in total shock here. I have had a crazy year anyway and honestly thought I had something seriously wrong. I feel sort of stupid now. I guess when you are convinced it could never happen the mind does funny things. When I gain weight, I gain it around the middle first anyway. Now at least I have an excuse. With my son, I was never able to enjoy being pregnant because I had problems throughout and after having 2 losses, I never thought I would have a child. Then along came Austen and I was so happy. With Kelly, I was more relaxed because I knew I could have a baby and then bam there was a problem and I lost her. I am not sure what to think this time around. My OB has been wonderful. He delivered Austen and he came and saw me when I lost Kelly. He said he was out of town when I went into labor or he would have come in and delivered her too. He was so great when I needed treatment for the scarring, he helped me get approval from my HMO to see a specialist for my surgeries to remove the scarring and he was great about following up afterwards. I had consultations with him after my surgeries and we had discussed what my care would be if I got pregnant again. We were going to use progesterone and I was to have a cerclage at 11-13 weeks but with this happening like it did, it just doesn't seem real yet. I am trying my best to not think about the things that could go wrong and am just trying to be thankful for this chance that I thought I would never have. Thanks for listening.
Dianne

[8miraclez]

Let me first say Congratulations!
I'm Boo, mom to 5 kiddos who were all born early.
Being high risk makes everything that much more scary. I can understand how you didn't know though. My sister went in to have her tubes tied and instead found out she was 4 months pregnant.
It's good news that your cervix is long and closed though. Maybe it's a good thing you didn't find out until now because you won't need the cerclage. It sounds like you have a good Dr. too. That's always an important factor. Hang in there and keep us updated.