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Really having a hard time.


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  #1  
September 29th, 2011, 05:42 PM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
So yesterday I was so excited to go to the ultrasound. This pregnancy is so different than the first and I was convinced in my heart this was a boy. I was so sad to see the three little lines yesterday. I was in shock all the way to lunch and I know my mom heard the disappointment in my voice. I keep telling everyone that I'm excited and all the positives I can think of, but I feel really empty inside. Then I feel horribly guilty and upset because I'm disappointed. Jeff is not emotional and he's hard to read. He keeps saying he's fine and everything, but I can't tell. With Emily he called his family immediately and joyously announced the news. He didn't bother to even call his brother yesterday and let him find out on facebook with everyone else. Perhaps I'm reading into it too much. I'm so glad we didn't do a gender reveal party at the house because I know I wouldn't have been able to fake it and the pictures would have forever memorialized that moment. I know that by the time she gets here everything will be fine and I'll be over it, but right now I'm having a hard time getting motivated to prepare at all and I'm not sure what to do about it. I feel awful that this is the way I feel about this miracle baby.

I'm sure some of it is due to hormones and lack of sleep but I hate feeling like this.
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  #2  
September 30th, 2011, 01:55 AM
TheOnlyPink's Avatar .... In a house of blue!
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 9,039
I'm so sorry to hear you are disappointed hun. I think its a totally natural response, when you had convinced yourself you were having a boy for the past 20 weeks. You imagine how life will be like with a son, you allow yourself to daydream about his little boy face and you browse through the little boy clothes. And then all of that is kind of taken from you. Of course you are going to feel a bit disconnected from the baby and a bit disappointed that you wont get to do all those boy things.

I'm not sure what to say about your husband. It could be because he wanted a son, but it could also be because its his second baby and i think men take it alot more in their stride.

I wish i had some more advice or words of comfort for you hun! but i think what you are feeling is normal. I know alot of the ladies in the ddcs had gender disappointment.

Huge hugs!!!
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  #3  
September 30th, 2011, 07:11 AM
Dizzi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Mustang, OK
Posts: 2,664
I completely understand how you feel hun! And like Robyn said, it's completely normal! I was told with my 2nd that I was having a girl (couldn't get a clear shot but no one ever saw any dangling bits lol) and out popped a boy. I felt like someone had stolen my daughter and given me a stranger to take care of. I was nearly devastated and I felt SO guilty about that. Of course, holding him, nursing him and watching him made all of the devastation go away and everything felt perfect again.

It's hard now, but once you really get over the shock of it all and get used to the idea, I'm sure things will start feeling better. And I also agree with Robyn again that with your husband, I'm sure it's not that he's not as excited or anything .. guys just don't really have as much "WOO!" left in them after their first lol They kind of see it as a "been there done that" type of thing rather than how we feel with "Wow it's so new again!" Plus, with it being another daughter it probably feels exactly like a BTDT type of thing to him, but that doesn't make it any less special

I think you should definitely talk to your DH about it - I'm sure both of you getting your feelings out in the open to each other will make you feel better.

Big hugs sweetie!
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  #4  
September 30th, 2011, 10:11 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
Thanks ladies. I made sure to get more sleep tonight and decided to focus on all the wonderful things that I love about having a girl. I also went out and bought 2 new outfits which started to get me out of this funk! It'll all be fine and I know that. I just wish it was easier to feel in my heart what I know in my head!
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  #5  
October 1st, 2011, 07:44 PM
Conners Mommie +2's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Easley, SC
Posts: 9,302
I know exactly what you mean and how you must feel. I felt that way with Colin....his pregnancy was much different from Conner's (much worse) and I was convinced he was a girl, but he definitely wasn't. This pregnancy is great....different from both boys and I really think it's a girl, but I'm trying not to get too into it because I KNOW when we find out it's a boy (which it probably is) that I'm going to be disappointed. This is our last baby and I just really want to add a baby girl to our family and I'm so in love with the fact that it could be, that I know I will be disappointed as well. I think when it sinks in after a few days, you'll start to be happy about it! At least you know how to do all the girl "stuff" right?
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