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  #1  
October 1st, 2011, 06:13 PM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
So Robyn's topic on the other board made me think of a conversation Jeff and I had the other day where I told him someone gave me "the usual response" when I said I was pregnant. The conversation goes like this:

RP (random person): Is that your only child?
Me: technically no, but the other is fully taken care of until she's born in February
RP: You're pregnant AGAIN?
Me: Yep, that's generally how children arrive in a family... (I say this with a smile and try not to have it come off as too sarcastic)
RP: How old is your daughter?
Me: 9 months (hoping they'll do the math although I know they won't and the question that's coming next)
RP: So, how far apart will they be?
Me: 14 months
RP usually has one of several responses: "Wow, that's close!" (thanks...I didn't realize) or "Wow, you're going to be busy!" (because one child won't keep someone busy) or "How are you going to handle that?" to which I usually respond "Same way I handled one" but I usually want to look at them all wide-eyed and say "Gee, I don't know. I never thought about it. Guess I should figure that out before February"

I sure am snarky tonight. So I'm sure you all have had some responses whether it's because people think your kids are too spaced out, you have too many, you should have a specific gender or you're beyond the average age to bear children...What are the standard responses you've gotten to the pregnancy?
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  #2  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:26 AM
Dizzi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Mustang, OK
Posts: 2,644
I got pregnant when I was 16 with my daughter so I heard all kinds of comments and remarks and got all the "looks".

I absolutely HATED when people would ask me questions like "so what are you going to do?!" I mean, clearly by the time I'm showing they know it's too late for any type of "permanent" actions like they're wondering about (which was NEVER an option for me, even given my particular circumstance).
Well, I guess I'm going to have a baby.
Then they tell you how old you are like you've forgotten.. "But you're SIXTEEN!"
HOLY CRAP ARE YOU SURE?!... "Yes.. I am."

I understand the shock and even disgust some people feel when they find out someone extremely young is pregnant. Their first thoughts are always something along the lines of how promiscuous that girl must be, how irresponsible, etc. etc. But rarely does anyone ever wonder if perhaps the girl wasn't actually going around having sex and being irresponsible. Although now days it almost seems like girls are trying to get knocked up just so they can be on MTV. Just ridiculous.

When I got pregnant with Cole the biggest thing on everyone's mind was "Are you going to get married?" DH and I had been together just over a year when we got pregnant with Cole. We had gotten pregnant previously but lost it. It was such a short pregnancy that no one had time to ask questions, they were just really shocked that we were pregnant so soon after getting together. But while I was pregnant with Cole I don't know how many times I was asked "So are you two getting married?" That drove me insane. I understand there's supposed to be a "way about things" but I'd already broken that by having a baby before I met DH anyway. But no, I didn't want to get married just because I was having a baby. That works for some people but it just wasn't in the cards for me. We did end up getting married 3 years after we had Cole, though - and of course, everyone started asking if we were pregnant again haha

This time around .. I really haven't heard too much about anything. I suppose everyone feels that now I'm "old enough" to be having a baby, I'm married now as well so hooray me, a baby! I've been asked how it feels having a baby after both of mine are in school already but honestly, that's something I think about all the time myself! lol so that doesn't bother me too much.
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  #3  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:43 AM
TheOnlyPink's Avatar .... In a house of blue!
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 9,013
I get comments about how big the age gap is. We had been trying for a long time, jake was 2 and 3 months when we started, we were married and everyone was just expecting us to have news. It was so hard to hear some nasty comments like "you'd better get a move on, jake will be old enough to babysit!"

Now i am pregnant the comments go along the lines of "OMG you have to start all over again with nappies and night feedings!" or "god thats a big gap, they wont be close at all" and one from my FIL, "you'll find it hard now having to spend extra money on nappies when you've finished with jake" not really sure about that one... surely its easier to only buy nappies for one? anyway, i think that no matter what you do someone is going to have an opinion.

Sure i would have liked a much smaller gap, but I really didnt think it was going to take so long to get pregnant. And i do worry that these kids wont be close, because I am much older than my siblings and we hardly ever talk. But, at the end of the day, I am having another child because me and my husband want it, not to please anyone else! Keeping that in mind makes it alot easier to tell people to shut up!
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  #4  
October 2nd, 2011, 09:24 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
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Posts: 4,923
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2J View Post
Sure i would have liked a much smaller gap, but I really didnt think it was going to take so long to get pregnant. And i do worry that these kids wont be close, because I am much older than my siblings and we hardly ever talk. But, at the end of the day, I am having another child because me and my husband want it, not to please anyone else! Keeping that in mind makes it alot easier to tell people to shut up!
My closest sibling throughout most of my life was my brother who was 10 years older than me. He passed away and I'm now closer to my other siblings (one sister 14 years older and a brother who is 21 months younger than me), but I think it had more to do with our dispositions than our ages. My sister and little brother are high maintenance, selfish and inconsiderate in their own ways and (funny enough) they barely tolerate each other. Meanwhile, Brett and I were the laid back and calm ones going with the flow. I'm the only one that gets along with all of them

I guess the point of my rambling is that it depends more on their personalities and the family bonds that YOU help to instill in them more than their age. I'm sure they'll be great friends!
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  #5  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:14 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
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Location: washington state.
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ugh i get those type of comments to and my kids are not even super close in age yet people act like they are shocked and how could we dare have another baby so close in age.
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Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
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