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I read this article today, its causing a bit of a stir on this side of the pond!
The woman is a baby trainer. she has made millions from her books on baby routine and has now published a book called "the contented mothers guide" in this book she advocates that women have sex with their husband 4 to 6 weeks after having a baby. She advises not to say no to your husband and that sometimes you "have to grin and bare it"
Her point is that men often feel closed off emotionally from mothers and their new babies, and the longer they go without intimacy, the more isolated and detached he feels.
What do you think? Is she full of it, or do you see where she is coming from?
I also want to add, this woman is a nursery nurse (not a midwife) and has never had her own children.
My opinion, if I just BIRTHED your child, you are waiting until I am comfortable with sex. If a husband/partner can not wait then what kind of person does that make them? I think sex is important but so is healing after the vaginal trama of birth!
i think shes off her rocker haha....specially since shes never had a child...there are more ways than just sex to emotionally connect with your husband after having a baby....my husband was never pushy about the sex thing....
but then again we never waited longer than 2 weeks afterwards haha.....i was just ready to go at that point
Its always those with no kids that give advice like this, I swear.
I think its unnecessary to give your spouse sex at that time period especially since most women are told to not have sex for 6 wks after baby anyway for various reasons.
I understand men might feel "isolated" or "left out" when new baby comes especially if its the first baby but that doesnt mean we should suck it up and give in to their whims to make them feel better. I dont know many men who would wake in the middle of the night to get the babys poopy bum changed without complaining or saying they cant cuz they have to wake early,etc.
It kinda gets old that women are supposed to suck up all the stuff that comes with new baby and also deal with hubbys needs all the while they get theirs ignored but thats ok(for now).
But instead of having a heart to heart with hubby about all the changes and how you feel and all that and come to a compromise you are just supposed to cave in?? Nah...
~My thanks to *Kiliki* for the siggy and Lucy S for the blinkies~
ha! we didn't wait the 6 weeks, but thats because I was ready, not because of him. you're getting up every 2 hrs to feed and change a baby, you're exhausted and I do believe the LAST thing ya wanna do right after you have a baby is have sex...
Grin and Bear it? ugh no!
That's funny! I actually like her books, and I'm waiting for her "Contented Baby with Toddler" to come out on Kindle so I can read it before DD2 gets here.
I kind of see her point about the man's perspective, but I know my doc said NO WAY for 6 weeks, and I wasn't really down with it for 2-3 months. If you're really worried about DH having a "dry spell", there are other things you can, ahem, do for him, if you catch my drift!!!
i just dont understand how women with NO kids think they know everything about having babies and raising them.....one of the things that irks me pretty bad....if you dont have kids i SURE in heck aint gonna take any advice from you LOL
I think if you haven't BTDT then there is no way you are going to tell me what I should do in that situation. Looney lady! 4-6 weeks is laughable too. The doctor told me to wait at least 6 weeks after each delivery I've had.
I see where she is coming from but I don't think anyone should be saying "don't say no". There are plenty of reasons why a new mum might want to say yes or no and it's up to them to decide personally. No one can tell you when to be ready.
Wow I didn't know she had no kids!!! Defo won't be taking her parenting advice lol! That's one thing I've learnt over the last few years... don't let people judge you until they've been in the situation them selves. Id like to shove a melon up her foof then tell her to go and get naughty with her husband!
I can understand the man feeling cut off and left out, bit I agree there are other ways to get that closeness back. I ended up with a c-section, and we DTD at about 5 weeks PP because I was feeling ready. Not because he pressured me at all. I can't imagine how I might feel if I had had a vaginal delivery, let alone endured any tears or something!
Proud mama to:
Avery Elizabeth (08/27/2011) & Dawsyn Brielle (10/29/2013)
We dtd at 4 weeks pp, because like alot of you ladies, I felt ready and i felt like i needed the closeness with my husband. But it was on my terms and i did it because I wanted to, for my own needs, not because i wanted him not to feel neglected!
I would hope men have more respect for their partners than to be happy with her "grinning and bearing" it. I know my husband would be very hurt and upset if i did something i wasnt comfortable with.
Mothers have made this woman a millionaire. A MILLIONAIRE. and this is the type of ***** she spouts. I have to say fair play to her, I dont think she cares about the women taking her advice, she is too busy smiling at her bank statement.