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  #1  
March 8th, 2012, 06:42 PM
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 46
Hi ladies:
I don't know if I really belong here right now or not.....but.....
I am pregnant with my first child and I am already a stay -at -home wife. I am due on June13, so that makes me six and a half months pregnant. After the baby is born, I will be a stay at home mommy. The reason why this board intrigued me was becuz being at home can have its challenges too. Well, for me it is now depression, it may be becuz of my crazy pregnancy hormones.
However, everybody thinks that stay at home wives and moms have it real easy, but that aint the case at all. At least if I was working and doing things, it would make my days go y a lot faster.
Also, since my hubyy works 14 hours a day, by the time he gets home, he can barely say 'hi' since he is sooo tiered. Anyone feelin the same way? Lonely, sad, depressed? Is it my pregnancy that is dragging me down?
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  #2  
March 8th, 2012, 09:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 1,986
Aw, I know the feeling when DH is working so hard. I would get really bummed when he was traveling or working long hours on some projects a few years ago, and it would have been worse if I didn't go to work and fill my day with other things.

Preggo hormones don't help!! Mine have been worse this time around than they were with my first daughter. I'm due June 3rd! Did you join our June Due Date Club? My dad is in town at the moment, so I'm not keeping up as much as usual.
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  #3  
March 8th, 2012, 09:29 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by lnj5duke View Post
Aw, I know the feeling when DH is working so hard. I would get really bummed when he was traveling or working long hours on some projects a few years ago, and it would have been worse if I didn't go to work and fill my day with other things.

Preggo hormones don't help!! Mine have been worse this time around than they were with my first daughter. I'm due June 3rd! Did you join our June Due Date Club? My dad is in town at the moment, so I'm not keeping up as much as usual.
Yes i did join June club, the ladies there are great, actually, they are great all over this just mommies forum. I am so glad that I found this chat forum.
I wanna ask if u have ever taken any meds while prego? Meds for depression and raging hormones?
Obviously, I don't know how bad it is for u right now, but u say it is worse with ur current pregnancy, so I was wondering if i should be asking my doc for any meds or anything......?
I hope u feel better. i don't have any kids, but is it safe to say that it is all worth it?
Good luck!
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  #5  
March 9th, 2012, 04:57 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,950
Welcome! I'm Amanda, mom to Leah who is almost 4. Before Leah was born, my DH worked 12 hour shifts as a Corrections Officer, so I understand the lonely feeling. I was working full-time then but on weekends, if it was his weekend to work, it was certainly quiet and blah.

If you are feeling truly depressed though, it certainly can't hurt to talk to your doctor. Many hugs!
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  #6  
March 9th, 2012, 06:56 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
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first of all welcome! and congrats on the baby!! very exciting!!

we ALL get that way sometimes, sad lonely and depressed....and i do think pregnancy hormones intensifies those feelings...the best thing you can do is go out with a friend occasionally. or even have one come over to you. makes you feel not so crazy...also talking to your dr is a great suggestion
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  #7  
March 9th, 2012, 07:46 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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Oh pregnancy hormones can do many things. I used to have rage fits and have to hide my hands behind my back in order to not smack my DH when he'd say something dumb.

When my husband was working he'd work 10-12 hr days, 6 days a week. So I understand the loneliness cuz I was so there and I would have crying spells too when it just got to be too much.

Totally vent away here when you want to...we get it!

BTW...Im Hillarie, wife to Dan and mommy to 3 boys(ages 7, 5 1/2, and 4).
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  #8  
March 9th, 2012, 11:02 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by StayAtHomeDad View Post
Welcome! I'm Andrew, a SAHD (a rareity on here xD). My wife is a surgeon, so I know the feeling of having a spouse that works long, long hours. We have 4 kids and one on the way (Ari, 16, Addie, 5, Amy, 2 and Ethan, 2). It is most certianly worth it having kids. Em and I were 17 and 18 when Ari was born and even though it was hectic with full time uni study for both of us and a 2 month old, I would never trade a second of it for anything. There will be time that you wish that you kid had an off switch or something, but when you get to see them take their first steps, say their first words and that first time they smile at you, it's all worth it.
Hi Andrew:
A surgeon wife huh? wow, u must be so proud. You guys should be so proud of urselves to continue with ur studies eventhough u were super young parents. Normally, when teenagers have babies, their ultimate goal is just to get theri GED and get a diploma. It makes me so happy to hear stories like urs. I think it is great for a man to take charge of a household, it truly takes a real man to do that. Thank you for ur message. It has definitely made me feel alot better. Specially the part where u say that u would not change a second of it for anything. That was soooo touching.
Thank you and congratulations on ur wive's new pregnancy!
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  #9  
March 9th, 2012, 11:17 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lotus View Post
Oh pregnancy hormones can do many things. I used to have rage fits and have to hide my hands behind my back in order to not smack my DH when he'd say something dumb.

When my husband was working he'd work 10-12 hr days, 6 days a week. So I understand the loneliness cuz I was so there and I would have crying spells too when it just got to be too much.

Totally vent away here when you want to...we get it!

BTW...Im Hillarie, wife to Dan and mommy to 3 boys(ages 7, 5 1/2, and 4).
Lady Lotus, ur so funny! In fact, I have not even smiled in such a long time, and ur message made me smile. The part where u said u sometimes had to hide ur hands behind ur back to not smack ur DH when he would say soemthing dumb. I feel horrible to say that i have actually smacked my hubby once ever since my pregnancy. I am not an abusive woman, and I am not aggressive at all. I did smack my husband once, and i felt horrible afterwards. I had spent so much money and had given so much support to my hubby to finally quit smoking, I have been with him for 9 years and he had promised me that he would quit as soon as I got prego. Keep in mind that I have lost three aunts to cancer and they were all smokers, so smoking terrifies me. My husband is the love of my life, I have not had a father in my life and my husband is everything to me. The thought of losing him to any illness terrifies me. So, he had told me he had quit smokimg for a while and one day he was giving me a ride to the doc and I sat in his car, and guess what i find? a package of cigs. I ask him about it and he quickly grabs it and throws it out the window, which drove me insane. I smacked him real hard, and I did apologizxe for that. I know forcing him to quit won't get me anywhere. And I never expected him to do it cold turkey.
I gave him an ultimatum,cigs or me? he chose me, and until today I have not caught him again! I tuly believe that he has quit. Thank God!
Lady Lotus, thanks for u mess.

For everybody that reponded to my mess, thank you.
A few of u suggested that I talk to my doc, and I can't wait to see him this coming Tuesday, I will tak to him. Jeez, i cannot even stand myself right now!
You guys are amazing, thank you!
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  #10  
March 9th, 2012, 12:24 PM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In the West
Posts: 11,182
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Your ever so welcome.

My husband quit before we even met but he did get cancer so that horror we are living. I totally get those fears.

Like I said...vent away we so get it.

Here's another smiley for ya...

I knew I was pregnant with my first child when I didnt PMS and have the urge to smack him for saying stupid things(like he has this need to tell me how to do simple stuff that Ive done for years and thats where the desire to smack came into play LOL)!! I literally sat in my car and he said something stupid and I realized I was in my usual PMS week and yet had no desire to smack him upside the head for that comment so I knew I had to test and did! LOL
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  #12  
March 9th, 2012, 02:17 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 1,986
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lotus View Post
I knew I was pregnant with my first child when I didnt PMS and have the urge to smack him for saying stupid things(like he has this need to tell me how to do simple stuff that Ive done for years and thats where the desire to smack came into play LOL)!! I literally sat in my car and he said something stupid and I realized I was in my usual PMS week and yet had no desire to smack him upside the head for that comment so I knew I had to test and did! LOL
Haha, that is awesome!

As for the depression stuff, I've never had to take meds, but when I was in high school it was discussed. I made due with just a therapist (as well as numerous visits to the school counselor). They made a big deal to DH about watching for postpartum depression, since I had a history of depression during a hormonal time of life (if that makes sense). Your doc will probably have all kinds of ideas, and you guys can evaluate the decision about meds vs other methods (counseling, etc) based on your specific circumstances (severity, insurance, all that jazz).
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  #13  
March 9th, 2012, 03:36 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 46
thank you , thank you, thank you ladies!
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  #14  
March 9th, 2012, 08:38 PM
MammaHutch
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Welcome! Of course you are welcome here! I was a SAHW for 2 years and joined this grp when I was 8 months pregnant because I knew I was going to be a SAHM too. But my little boy is now 3 months old. He is my first, and time is flying! Its so bittersweet.
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  #15  
March 9th, 2012, 09:03 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by MammaHutch View Post
Welcome! Of course you are welcome here! I was a SAHW for 2 years and joined this grp when I was 8 months pregnant because I knew I was going to be a SAHM too. But my little boy is now 3 months old. He is my first, and time is flying! Its so bittersweet.
Awwwwww....he is stunning, seriously! Are u planning on going back to work at all? And I just want to know how u fill ur days up? I guess by having a newborn, ur days fly....do they?
I am very nervous, not becuz I cannot handle a baby, I am an Early Childhood Educator, so I have tons of experience, but .....okay here it goes: How come I feel nothing...emotionally? I am not a sick person or anything, but I am starting to feel like one. I don't love this baby, I am not in awe when he kicks, it actually sometimes irritates me. So what happens if I give birth and I have no feelings for this baby, seriously? What happens if once he is here he is a burden? Ladies, pls do not judge me, but I am terrified now, cuz u can get rid of a dress, u can ger rid of a boyfriend, but a baby? A baby is for life.....24/7. I know u must think...u shoulda thought about it before u got pregnant. I wanted a baby real bad. Not too sure now......Everything will change. I have the best marriage in the world with my hubby of 9 years and it feels like we are still dating it is sooooo great.
Won't a baby take all that away? Take most of my husbands attention away from me? I will no longer be his only baby......oh my God, I am mortified ot even think this way , but it is the way I am feeling.
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  #16  
March 10th, 2012, 09:24 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
Welcome! I am a SAHM and a student. I have 3 kids, Alyssa 5, Tristan 3 and Gavin is 3 weeks. Being a SAHM can be challenging. I used to be stuck at the house alot because DH worked and needed the 1 car we had. It is much bettter now that I have my own vehicle. Try to find something to do. I like volunteering when I have extra time with 4H.
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  #17  
March 10th, 2012, 11:48 AM
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 46
Fluffly baby, congratualtions........u only have three weeks left?
I also forgot to menion that my water broke when I was 4 months pregnant and my placenta is literally sitting on top of my cervis, in other words I am on stricgt bed rest. i had the choice to be admitted into the hospital and so at my own risk I decided to do bed rest at home. Then if I need to go somehwere, like my doc or somthing, I got a wheelchair that my hubby pushes me around in.
Aghhhhh, I hate this!
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  #18  
March 10th, 2012, 02:11 PM
MammaHutch
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So your water broke? Like, with this pregnancy? And now you are in a wheelchair?
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  #19  
March 11th, 2012, 04:27 AM
LindsayMom09
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Posts: n/a
Hello and welcome to the SAHM board! I am Lindsay, mommy to Harvey (2) and fiance to Richard.

I'm sorry you are dealing with feelings of depression, that must be so hard. When I was pregnant with my little boy I experienced very down and dark feelings too, so I can definitely relate. It could be pregnancy hormones, but it wouldn't hurt to have a chat with your doctor to be sure. It can be tough but it's so very worth it in the end. Hang in there <3
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  #20  
March 11th, 2012, 06:19 AM
Buggymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,117
Welcome to the group!

My daughter is now 5 and I have been a stay at home mom the since I was pregnant so I totally get it.
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