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  • 1 Post By *Kiliki*

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  #1  
January 11th, 2013, 04:36 PM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 4,171
So we moved about an hour away from the town we lived in before, where I have a couple of friends at. Last week, like on the 2nd, I text a friend and told her if she wasnt bust next Friday or Saturday (this weekend) I'd love for her and her daughters to come over. I have been back down there to see them one or two times since the move. She told me she'd let me know, her husband has these days off and would see if he had plans for the family..... Well no word.. Today she starts texting me but nothing about coming over (Ha! I just remembered today is Friday.) So yeah, no word about coming over tomorrow or anything.

Would you ask whats up or let it go? I know she wont just show up without saying she's coming over. I'm just letting it go, maybe she forgot. But it just bums me out that you know, the road runs one way, I've already been replaced by the new mom at the pre-k, and Im losing the only friend I have...
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  #2  
January 11th, 2013, 06:06 PM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
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i'd ask her say "hey i was just wondering if you planned on coming up or not...so i know to make plans or not"
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  #3  
January 11th, 2013, 06:13 PM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona, USA
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I thought about this but didnt want to make her feel obligated to come over or lie about why she cant.
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  #4  
January 11th, 2013, 06:30 PM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
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imo shes not a very good friend if you asking makes her feel obligated or has to lie her way out of visiting :\
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  #5  
January 11th, 2013, 08:53 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
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Location: washington state.
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I would just ask as a reminder. I think its a bit rude to be invited to hang out or somewhere and then not get back to the person..I know life gets busy and you can forget (guilty of it before myself) but if she texted you anyways I think its a little odd she did not bring it up??
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  #6  
January 11th, 2013, 10:38 PM
IronMamma's Avatar -Child Advocate
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Location: Wyoming
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I agree with Kristy and I would ask again.
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  #7  
January 12th, 2013, 12:36 AM
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I agree with just simply asking her is she was going to make it over. IF your worried about losing her as a friend, then you should as her friend, talk it over with her or do what you can to mend it. She probablly didnt mean to intentionally ignore you about it, she may have been caught up in other things.
But, since you have hestitations then maybe just let it go.
It would be sad to see a friendship lost for no good reason. I hope things work out for you.
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  #8  
January 12th, 2013, 04:36 AM
MidgeMadge's Avatar Queen Turd. Bow down.
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I think it all depends on how badly you want to keep up the friendship on a long term basis. If you constantly have to poke at her, or she doesn't seem too thrilled with it.. I would let it go. Unfortunately, sometimes distance can get in the way of friendships. If she's important to you, and you want to really work at keeping the relationship going, I would definitely just remind her you wanted to get together.

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  #9  
January 12th, 2013, 06:28 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
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is there any middle ground? i know the driving can be rough....maybe thats her biggest issue...is there like a town or something you can meet up half way and have lunch or something once or twice a month....then maybe every couple of mnths you either go to her house or she come to you???
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  #10  
January 12th, 2013, 07:09 AM
TheOnlyPink's Avatar .... In a house of blue!
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Location: Ireland
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I think i would remind her, she could have just totally forgotten, especially as there were no concrete plans.

I know its hard when you move so far away, but tbh, an hours drive one way is a long way to go, especially when you have small children. It prob has nothing to do with you personally, its just pretty far to go. And the cost of gas is prob another reason why.
I have a friend who lives about an hour away too, and i dont see her as often as i like, purely because its a whole day out and the cost to get there. Its not because i like her any less. But like kristy has suggested, we meet halfway pretty often. Theres a town about half an hour from me and its about half an hour from her, so we go there. Is something like that an option for you?
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  #11  
January 12th, 2013, 09:07 AM
2pinks&ablue's Avatar Chantelle
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 36,142
Maybe she just totally forgot that it was supposed to be this weekend? I would probably say something like "were you still thinking of coming over this weekend? I just want to make sure that we're home if you are, but I don't mind if you can't make it this time."
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  #12  
January 12th, 2013, 09:56 AM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
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Location: Arizona, USA
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Thanks ladies! I just let it go. Maybe later today Ill ask if they did anything fun this weekend. Maybe the family did do something and she just forgot to let me know they wouldnt make it over.

There is no middle meet up place. Maybe in late Spring/early Summer we could meet at the River, while there is still water in it. But there are no towns or anything between us. We are invited to her DD's b-day on the 3rd, its not in their town and closer to ours (They are at point A and the party is at point C and we are in the middle at point B) We will go to it and Ill probably invite them over more. See what happens.

Before we moved, when the kids started pre-k, a new family came to that town. The new mom and my friend became friends really fast. The new mom didnt really act like she liked me and it was always weird when I was around them. So I already felt like I was being replaced before I had even moved. So I dont know where the friendship is going really.
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  #13  
January 12th, 2013, 07:22 PM
i:heart:you's Avatar Super Moderator
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Location: Scranton, PA
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Maybe she did forget, I would text her and ask her how her weekend went, then say hopefully you guys can meet up soon! Maybe she will make definite plans with you. I don't know how long I would pursue her though, I think I wouldn't ask again if she doesn't respond to that.
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  #14  
January 12th, 2013, 09:40 PM
Eowyn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,400
I have a couple really good long-distance friends.
We keep in contact (online/text/calling) on a regular basis but I only get to actually see them maybe once or twice a year if we can get together for a special play date or on one of the kids birthdays if they can make it.Despite the distance they are still some of my best friends as much if not more than people I see regularly.
Its possible to keep friends longer distance, but you can only hold up half the friendship- I hope that your friend will prove to be happy to hold up the other end.

If shes happy to stay in contact over the phone/texting or whatever then Id say keep that up and continue to invite her occasionally and dont worry if it doesnt work out. Its hard sometimes when schedules are really different it can be difficult to find a time that works for both parties.
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