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Living in a small town


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  #1  
January 12th, 2013, 08:31 AM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Small Town, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 5,639
Is soooo hard

People here need to realize that reaching out and trying to forge friendships is HARD! When I say small I mean less than 1000 people. DH's grad class was 7 kids.

It feels like everyone already has their own friends and that they don't need anymore. Also the "groupings" are already pretty much determined before I show up so I am automatically lumped in with my husband's kind of group.

Don't get me wrong, everyone is civil to one another.

It's just hard when you invite not 1, not 2, not 3 but 4 different women to get together for coffee or a play date or whatever and they act all interested, and then something comes up. I leave the ball in their court "ok no problem, let me know when you are free and we will get together" and no one gets back to me.

Pretty big slap in the face.

I have other friends, but they live "in town" which is a 30 minute drive and a bit of a pain.

end rant, sorry for complaining but my feelings are hurt and I am lonely!
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  #2  
January 12th, 2013, 10:06 AM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 4,171
I can relate! Before we moved we lived in a town of like 2800 and everyone knew everyone's business. I even went to school there, DH grew up there and I knew people from school there and still had a hard time meeting people once we moved back. My only saving grace was putting DD in Vacation Bible School one summer and then I learned out the local Moms of Preschoolers (MOPS) group. That was literally the only reason I met anyone.

We've moved to an even smaller town. Seriously all thats here is a church, a tiny little $$$ grocery store and a bar. A girl who lived in our last town grew up here and still goes to the church. She said its mostly older people that go. When I pick DD up at Pre-k (10 miles away) if there are parents there no one talks to me. This pasted Thursday I got one to actually talk a little to me. She went to school with DH's brother, but that was like all. There were even younger moms there one day and they didnt so much as say Hi.

Its just ridiculous how hard it is to meet people as a parent or SAHM.
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  #3  
January 12th, 2013, 10:32 AM
2pinks&ablue's Avatar Chantelle
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 36,142
I can't imagine just moving to a small town not knowing anyone I live in a small town (where dh grew up) but I knew a few peoole from here before we moved.
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  #4  
January 13th, 2013, 12:19 AM
IronMamma's Avatar -Child Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 4,128
I know what you mean! We live in a SMALL town and a military town to top it off. People come and go all the time. I have literally no friends IRL here. It's like if you are not in HS or work outside the home making friends is impossible! I am hoping once Drake is a little older and we start with sports and what not I will make some friends.
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  #5  
January 13th, 2013, 04:15 AM
TheOnlyPink's Avatar .... In a house of blue!
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 9,042
omg i am right with you hun, I moved here about 4.5 years ago and knew noone. I live about 2 miles outside town. the whole town has about the same as yours. I tried so hard to get to know people, but the same as you, they would cancel and i would say Oh let me know when you are free and we can organise something! but never heard from them again. I think people are so busy that they dont have time for new friends.

The thing thats saved me is jake going to school. You naturally get to know the other moms at the school gates and the kids make their own friends instead of you making them for them iyswim. so you get to know the parents. I have made 3 very good friends since jake started.

but thats no help to you when avery is 17 months! I do know the feeling all too well!
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  #6  
January 13th, 2013, 11:29 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 360
We live in a very small town that DH grew up in. We do not even have a traffic light. DD goes to a school that is about a 20 minute drive away, but it is the closest school. He does know a few people that still live nearby that he went to school , but we don't invite them over or anything like that. Most of the people that live here are elderly. Most of the moms of the kids in her class are 10-15 years older then me and I don't really see myself having any thing in common with them. Plus, because her school isn't close, most of the kids don't live nearby.

My best friend since I was 12 lives around 20 minutes away and she usually comes over about once a week. I have a few other friends from HS that live 30 minutes or so away I see once in awhile.
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  #7  
January 13th, 2013, 11:16 PM
somo_chickenlady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Bradleyville, MO
Posts: 3,277
I completely understand!!! We live in the middle of nowhere, 5 miles outside of a town with only 80 people in it. We have lived here for almost two years, and we have made friendly with our "next door" (actually about 1/4 mile down our road) neighbors, but like you said they don't seem interested in having more friends. We did some things with them when we FIRST moved in, but for more than a year we haven't really heard from them...yet they acted sad that we are moving. WTH?? In the two years here, we have made exactly one set of friends, a couple we met in our foster parent training classes, but we really didn't start hanging out with them until about 2 months ago...and now we are moving back to our hometown. We just couldn't take living here anymore, and we are tired of driving 45-60 minutes to just go grocery shopping. I think it is so much harder to make friends in a small town when you didn't grow up there. People here don't take well to strangers, and most won't even talk to us. We have NEVER met the people that live on the other side of us...ever.
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Last edited by somo_chickenlady; January 13th, 2013 at 11:20 PM.
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  #8  
January 14th, 2013, 06:53 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
Posts: 26,332
i know how you feel...the only person i really know around here is my next door neighbor LOL they moved in about a month after we did...most of the people she hangs out with besides me is people she meet at her kid's daycare or her husbands ccoworkers LOL

and the few other women i know are dh's co-workers wives...and i hang out with them sometimes...and i do know one that is the mom of my oldests daughter friend...but they moved to another school district so we really dont hang out with them anymore either....elyse has a new friend in town that she hangs with and her mom is pretty cool....
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  #9  
January 14th, 2013, 07:17 AM
Cassie.S's Avatar Sophia's Mommy!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 8,679
I'm originally from a small town (1600 people), so I understand. I now live in a much bigger town and other than family have no friends here yet. I'm hoping to join a mommy group soon and hoping it works out for playdates and such. But I really hope those ladies get back to you soon and you can get to know them better so this doesn't continue.
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  #10  
January 14th, 2013, 07:41 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,950
I understand what you mean as well. Our town isn't necessarily small, but we only moved here 6 years ago and didn't know anyone. I made a few friends at work, but then when I became a SAHM, it fizzled out over time. Only now that Leah is older, I am meeting other moms through her dance class and through homeschooling groups. It is hard!
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  #11  
January 14th, 2013, 09:28 AM
babyloves2dance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 13,557
I've always been a little out of touch when it comes to making friends. I grew up on a farm 10 miles out of town. Luckily our "little neighborhood" (consisting of neighbors from about a 4 mile radius) had monthly get togethers and I got to know the kids pretty good. The town I went to school in had only about 800 people (my class was 25 kids and of that 7 were girls). I now live out in the country (where my DH's family homesteaded about 100 years ago) 30 miles from the nearest town. When we moved out here, it was not a big boom time for farmers, so we are really the only people our age out here. I got to know quite a few people in the town to the west of us as that is where I had my dance studio. I actually made quite a few good friends, but there are always those wonderful people that love to start rumors about you and try to ruin your life. Oh well, I don't care. We decided to send our kids to the town to the east of us to go to school....where I know practically nobody. I've tried to make some friends through preschool and enrolling Kendra in soccer (and probably t-ball and either girl scouts or 4-h this summer). I also attended a Bible Study while Kendra was in preschool (probably where I made the most friends). So I'm slowly getting to know some people. (Both the town to the east of us and the one to the west of us have about 1500 people.)
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