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Reasons for choosing your family size


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  #1  
January 14th, 2013, 07:41 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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Location: Small Town, Alberta, Canada
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size?

How many children are you ideally hoping to have?

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons?
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  #2  
January 14th, 2013, 08:40 PM
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? My Husband.. lol

How many children are you ideally hoping to have?I would like 1 more, it may happen, it may not. right now we have three. Audrey together and he has two children from a previous relationship.

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? Yes, money has a lot to do with it, I think if we had more money left over every month he would feel more comfortable thinking about having another.. also I think the idea of having 4 children is just scary to him..
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  #3  
January 14th, 2013, 08:44 PM
i:heart:you's Avatar Super Moderator
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Well I feel we can financially afford 3. Dh is perfectly happy with 2, but is ok with having another if that's what I want. But we had agreed if I wasn't pregnant by 35, we would stop trying. Well I turn 35 in 6 days. We are reevaluating....Anyway, it's solely financial, we want to be able to help our kids pay for college and help them get on their feet in life. So 3 is all we can afford , not to mention we are getting older dh will be 40 in August and Ill be 35. I would have had 4, I would love having a big family.
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  #4  
January 14th, 2013, 09:40 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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I am really going back and forth on this. I want a big family. At least I thought I did. I love the idea of being older and having my adult children home for holidays and having them all there with their boyfriends and girlfriends... grandkids. I always thought I wanted 4.

Now, however, I am just not sure. Financially we could have 4, we just wouldn't have a lot of extras. Activities might be limited, we wouldn't have a lot of holidays. We could help them with college but not as much as I might want to.

If we had two we could afford a lot more extras, full rides for college, more vacations.

Not to mention how D#$m hard this is. Avery has been very demanding, I know they might not all be as difficult but you just never know.

I also want my body back! I am still nursing, and then another pregnancy, more nursing, another pregnancy.... part of me wants to get the baby making over with and have my body back.

Then there is the fact that I still want some kind of career.

Decisions decision! I know they don't need to be made now, but I do like having a plan.

We are TTC soon, and if we get a boy it would be so tempting to stop there. But I don;t want to be that "cookie cutter" family, KWIM?
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  #5  
January 14th, 2013, 10:27 PM
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size?
I always wanted a large family. When I was young that meant three to me as I only had the one (very dear) sister. There only being two of us felt lonely at times. Then being around husband and his three brothers made me want four. I still want four but this is my seventh pregnancy and only my third sticky baby and we've had one adoption loss along the way as well. My husband has said he is done after this baby which I'm okay with. TTC is a hard road for us so I don't blame him. I'm just happy to have made it to three kids when for a long time I was afraid we would never be blessed with children. Finances aren't really taken into consideration. Love is more important than money when it comes to kids. I don't believe in paying for college regardless of how much money you have anyway (or cars or car insurance or any of if, get a job kid is my motto).

How many children are you ideally hoping to have?
See above. The ideal number for me (but is unlikely to happen) is 4-6 kids.

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? What factors are effecting your decision for family size?
Financial, no. Religous, a little bit. I do believe every baby is a blessing from God. I'm not of the quiverfull mindset though (a good thing as I have fertility issues). Personal reasons, of course. I love having babies. My husband makes beautiful, intelligent, sweet babies. I love how close my husband and his brothers are. There is so much love in this family, plenty to spread around. My experience as one of two as a child felt a bit lonely at times. I suffer from recurrent miscarriage which most definitely plays a part in our decision of if/when to TTC. My losses have made me appreciate my children even more. It is very hard on the husband as he cannot do anything to make it right, something men have a very hard time with. Men do not handle situations well when they cannot fix the situation. I think of a lot of things like not wanting my children to be alone when their older, another positive I think of having a larger family would be knowing my children will have each other in their later years. We have a lot of family support with Grandma just five minutes away.

Last edited by jersey_gray; January 14th, 2013 at 10:32 PM.
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  #6  
January 14th, 2013, 10:35 PM
i:heart:you's Avatar Super Moderator
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joonzgurl View Post
I am really going back and forth on this. I want a big family. At least I thought I did. I love the idea of being older and having my adult children home for holidays and having them all there with their boyfriends and girlfriends... grandkids. I always thought I wanted 4.

Now, however, I am just not sure. Financially we could have 4, we just wouldn't have a lot of extras. Activities might be limited, we wouldn't have a lot of holidays. We could help them with college but not as much as I might want to.

If we had two we could afford a lot more extras, full rides for college, more vacations.

Not to mention how D#$m hard this is. Avery has been very demanding, I know they might not all be as difficult but you just never know.

I also want my body back! I am still nursing, and then another pregnancy, more nursing, another pregnancy.... part of me wants to get the baby making over with and have my body back.

Then there is the fact that I still want some kind of career.

Decisions decision! I know they don't need to be made now, but I do like having a plan.

We are TTC soon, and if we get a boy it would be so tempting to stop there. But I don;t want to be that "cookie cutter" family, KWIM?
It is hard. My dd was way harder that my ds. I thought for sure I would be done with a boy, my "cookie cutter" family, was complete. But almost immediately after his birth I wanted a 3rd, age is a huge factor for me. I don't think a 3rd will be in my future if I don't conceive in the next few months.

I will say every child is different. Tommy was soooo easy,he hardly cried, he was well tempered. He was such a calm baby. Lily was much more difficult, which is one of the factors why we waited so long to conceive, not to mention emotional issues like if I could devote time to another baby without taking away from her, my biggest fear was could I love another baby as much as I loved her. I had such an overwhelming love for her, was it possible to love another child....of course I was....my heart just grows bigger. ok the end of my ramblings..lol
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  #7  
January 14th, 2013, 11:29 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? The reason that I am one and done is because I want to be there for DS for everything. Meaning: I am one of four, and growing up my parents had to pick and chose what events to go too, or maybe miss them all with driving us kids around and I do not want to do that with my own kids. I want to never ever miss a single thing in his life. I also want to be able to spoil him rotten and not have to financially worry about money.

How many children are you ideally hoping to have? One and done

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? Personal
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  #8  
January 15th, 2013, 03:22 AM
ComfortablyMum's Avatar <3 Mummy 2 Eve <3
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? None whatsoever! One is all we want, and one is all we have

How many children are you ideally hoping to have? 1 (with a slight possibility of a #2)

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? Not effected, but it is our personal choice
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  #9  
January 15th, 2013, 04:57 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
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i always wanted 3 kids....dh wanted to stop after elyse....but yeah we had a 3rd anyways (4 for karl haha thats why he wanted to stop after elyse he was good with just 3) it was all personal choice...i dunno....i guess cause my mom had 3 kids, my grandma had 3 kids...and i must say i was very happy to have 3 girls LOL
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  #10  
January 15th, 2013, 05:03 AM
MidgeMadge's Avatar Queen Turd. Bow down.
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? Just the want to focus solely on our daughter, give her all our attention and be able to do more for her. I also disliked all parts of pregnancy. I was queasy from weeks 6-15 and it was the worst feeling ever. I HATE being sick to my stomach. Then at week 21 I started high blood pressure. By week 30, I was on very strict bed rest with pre-ecamlpsia. I had to have 'emergency' c-section at 35 weeks, had a preemie (all of 4.6 pounds) and TBH, newbornhood wasn't a ball of fun, either. She had severe reflux, she had to wear a full body brace for a hip. I'm fine with one, thanksverymuch.

How many children are you ideally hoping to have? One and done. She's my world! (dh was snipped when she was 2)

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? Personal, above
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  #11  
January 15th, 2013, 06:25 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, I'm currently flip-flopping. For awhile now, we've been one and done. Yet I find myself having a bit of baby fever lately. AHHHHH.

Part of our one & done decision was financial, but mostly personal. Leah's delivery scared the crap out of DH (emergency c/s, she spent a few days in NICU) and neither of us cared to relive the newborn/infant days. We were all for giving Leah everything we could as far as time, attention, education, activities, travel, etc.

Maybe I'm just seeing too many cute babies in my FB feed, I don't know.
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  #12  
January 15th, 2013, 08:15 AM
babyloves2dance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? Just personal preferences.

How many children are you ideally hoping to have? We both agreed on 2 (if we had both a boy and a girl) if we had had 2 of the same gender we would have tried for a 3rd. But we got our boy and our girl so we are done.

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? Just personal reasons.
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  #13  
January 15th, 2013, 09:29 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? Nothing really. We're already a pretty large family as is so we feel done. Plus we're not getting any younger and pregnancy isn't always easy on me.

How many children are you ideally hoping to have? We have 4 and that's a good number to us. Plus we have an even amount of both.

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? Mainly personal but financial does play a role. We are comfortable now and would like to remain that way.
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  #15  
January 15th, 2013, 11:23 PM
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? I initially wanted 3 because the whole family of 4 thing just bugged me. I came from 4 kids with a huge 7 year gap in the middle. I never wanted that. DH comes from 3 kids each 2 years apart. We never wanted an only child because we felt that siblings were essential to learning how to share and interact with others and having someone to play with. My second pregnancy was really rough on me at the end and I for personal reasons really didn't want to be pregnant at 30 so since that happens in June we only had 2.

How many children are you ideally hoping to have? Maybe adopt number 3 but DH is snipped so no more baby making.

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? personal and financial.
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  #16  
January 16th, 2013, 04:06 AM
TheOnlyPink's Avatar .... In a house of blue!
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I'm done with 2. My main reason is that I dont really like the newborn stage. I really do not want to go through it all again. Even then, I dont think i would be able to be the type of mother I want to be to more than 2 children.

And there is a sort of switch that went off in me as soon as harry was born. WHile i was pregnant i was pretty sure I wouldnt want another, but as soon as i looked at harry I knew he would be my last.

There are no other factors really other than that! Dh has a list of reasons why not, but mine are purely instinctual!

If another one came along i would be thrilled, but I am hoping it doesnt!
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  #17  
January 16th, 2013, 08:11 AM
Cassie.S's Avatar Sophia's Mommy!
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? I'm the oldest of 6 and although I don't want that many, I loved having a big family. We're all very close even though our ages are spread apart (17 years between me and the youngest). DH was an only child.

How many children are you ideally hoping to have? I had always said I wanted 4 but DH said 3. After going through Sophia's delivery, I think I'll be ok with 3!

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? Financial and personal. We want to be able to afford taking our kids on vacations and do things that I didn't always get to do growing up in a big family. Also want to be able to help our kids with college.
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  #18  
January 16th, 2013, 10:32 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
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We always wanted 2-3. We figured if we had two of the same gender we'd have a 3rd to see if we had whatever gender we didnt. LOL

We had 3 and are happy with that....it fit what we had goals set for and when debating to have a third or not we felt our family wasnt complete yet and during my 3rd pregnancy we knew without doubt he was it. He completed us.

It was affected because it sounded like a good number to us...not too big or little. Plus our ages played a factor. DH was over 40 and I over 30 when we had our kids.
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  #19  
January 16th, 2013, 02:01 PM
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I'm with Amanda. I'm constantly changing my mind on this too. Harvey is quite a difficult child and it really made us both reluctant to have any more. There was a point in our lives where we were so sure there wouldn't be any more, ever. But now we're slowly warming to the idea. I know in my heart there will be more. Probably soon after we get married. It's a hard decision to make because children are a such a massive responsibility. Ahhh!! We'll see, that's all I can say.
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  #20  
January 16th, 2013, 02:13 PM
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What factors are effecting your decision for family size? Well I always wanted 1 or 2 (one of each). Then I met my husband and he is the youngest four. We have discussed it and are flip-flopping since TTC our first has be a crazy journey. If we have only one we will be happy but won't complain with 3 or 4.

How many children are you ideally hoping to have? Ideally, 3-4.

Is this effected by financial, religious, personal reasons? This is affected by personal reasons. After we finally have our first then we will see how we do financially with a baby.
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