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  #1  
April 22nd, 2013, 02:29 PM
Still Trying for #1
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NM
Posts: 2,491
Hello ladies!

I've been gone awhile since I last logged on or checked this site. I've been distancing myself from TTC to make it easier on myself.

Since I last came on here, my cat has had babies, we are planning to move, been dealing with my SIL, babysitting her kids, and still TTC. Friday I have a physical because I think I may have a thyroid problem. :/

I need to vent a little here. I babysit my SIL's kids during the week since it's hard on my MIL; she has diabetes and lupus. It's bumming me out a bit since I'm practically raising someone else's children but also because of my SIL. She has been taking advantage of my babysitting. She gets off of work at 5:30 and we live 15 minutes away. Sometimes she leaves her kids til 7, 7:30, even 8 and 8:30 just so she can run errands. We have errands to do as well. I have a feeling tonight is gonna be one of those nights. She never asks if we have plans.

A few weeks ago, I accidentally slept in and when she came to pick them up, she has the nerve to come in my house and tell me that I need to understand she goes to work early and that I need to get up earlier to take care of her kids. She doesn't pay me. Hasn't for two months. She's going through bankruptcy. I understand that but that's rude! You can't come in MY house and be a if I'm watching your kids for free.

Another thing, my niece and nephews dad, he's a loser and inconsiderate. There are times when my SIL or MIL say that the kids are gonna be with their dad for the day so I plan to do what I want. Then in the afternoon he comes to drop them off because he's "tired of them." No phone call or anything.
Just because I'm home all day doesn't mean you can just drop them off when you want just because you get sick of them.

It gets on my nerves. I want to tell them something but I don't want to start any problems. I'm ready to tell them to find someone else to watch their kids.
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  #2  
April 22nd, 2013, 03:59 PM
i:heart:you's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Scranton, PA
Posts: 17,023
Oh my goodness girl, I would tell her to get a new babysitter. In all seriousness, you should set some ground rules with her. Like a drop off time and a pick up time, what you expect to get paid...etc...otherwise, she will continue to take advantage of you!

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  #3  
April 22nd, 2013, 04:46 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 360
I have been there with the babysitting. And sometimes it was 72+ hrs at a time. I did it for a year for free because it was family. I was relieved when she found a different sitter.

You don't need the stress or to be treated like that. I hope you can sit down and have a talk her and find a solution.
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  #4  
April 22nd, 2013, 05:01 PM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In the West
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You dont need to be put in that situation.
Just because you are related doesnt mean that you go unpaid and disrespected....period!

You need to put your foot down, drama inducing or not. Set the rules and stick to them...no more walking all over you. You have a life too(Ive been here btw)...they need to be reminded of that.

As for the dad...if the mom isnt gonna put her foot down about him just dropping them off cuz he is tired of them then you need to do it. He has responsibilities and he needs to deal or go back to court and change the visitations. Either way...its not your responsability or problem.
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  #5  
April 22nd, 2013, 05:43 PM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona, USA
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I agree eith the other ladies! You need to speak up! Let her know that she has to pick them up at a set time.. You need to have a life too.. This stress cannot be helping your TTC time!! Set the rules and if A) she doesnt like them or B) she can follow them... She needs a new sitter!
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  #6  
April 23rd, 2013, 07:38 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
Posts: 26,332
ohh Hannah!!!! UGH what a tough situation...but I have some advice for you....because I have lived through that with my sister!!! I watched her kids...and she also took advantage of dropping them off an hour early so she could "get gas" or picking them up an hour or two later cause she had "errands" my advice??? GET OUT!!! Stop watching her kids....its only gonna cause more issues between the two of you TRUST ME!!! she may not like it but she'll have to get over it...tell her its not working out for you...
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  #7  
April 23rd, 2013, 07:47 AM
Buggymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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Oh my....I would have to say something to her! Maybe you could set up a time to talk to her about it calmly so she doesn't get defensive or upset. Maybe tell her that since it is taking up so much of your time watching her kids that you would really like to get paid something. I hope it works out....what you are doing for her and those children is awesome....she's really really really lucky!
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  #8  
April 23rd, 2013, 07:48 AM
RinkMom's Avatar Super Hockey Mom
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,524
Wow. I agree with Kristy. She is totally taking advantage of you and giving you much more stress than you need. I know it is hard because she is 'family' but this is not a good situation.
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  #9  
April 23rd, 2013, 08:48 AM
Still Trying for #1
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NM
Posts: 2,491
Thanks so much for your advice ladies. I'm gonna talk to her about it soon, possibly tonight. I want to to tell her so bad to find someone else to babysit but I know she's just gonna dump them on my Mil again. :/
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  #10  
April 23rd, 2013, 08:51 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
Posts: 26,332
then sounds like your MIL also needs to have a talk with her about what she is doing...you cannot help what your MIL does or does not doing regarding her or those kids....if she is willing to watch them knowing she is not capable then she needs to step and and tell her no....
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  #11  
April 23rd, 2013, 09:18 AM
Still Trying for #1
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NM
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Yes I agree. Thank you so much.

My mil does miss babysitting but it's hard on her. I believe my sil takes advantage more of me than my mil cuz I don't have health problems. I do they just aren't diagnosed right now.
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  #12  
April 24th, 2013, 03:47 AM
ComfortablyMum's Avatar <3 Mummy 2 Eve <3
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Zealand
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Ohhh no way! I would not tolerate that! I hope you sort something soon definitely tell her you're not her doormat and you have your own life to run! In the nicest way possible, of course
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