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  #1  
September 27th, 2004, 11:30 AM
ranidae
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Well if you are so strapped for cash why dont you get a job? Or well if you have to live so frugally wouldnt a job help?

My FIL drives me nuts, he is constantly asking Jon when I am going to get off my ***** and get a job. I don't see him lined up offering to pay for childcare, or even helping much when we need a babysitter for evening appointments etc.

I worked from the year I graduated high school till I got pregnant with the twins maybe not full time but I did work, I already have enough work credit with SS to get retirement etc. Plus I have a shoulder injury that makes ALL my training no good. I can no longer work in a industrail kitchen, due to not having a good grip anymore or not being able to lift more than 25lbs or so. I want to go back to school but that has to wait till the twins are in preschool.

I choose to stay at home right now because I dont want my kids in daycare and I don't want to work a dead-end minimum wage job.
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  #2  
September 27th, 2004, 11:40 AM
I Heart 4x4
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Yep.
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  #3  
September 27th, 2004, 12:00 PM
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Yep. This is the first time I haven't worked since I was 12. Since I have no college education my whole pay check would probably go to daycare so what's the point of working?
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  #5  
September 27th, 2004, 12:09 PM
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Yeah I agree with the other Jen. What is the point in working if your paycheck is just gonna go back into daycare? I just feel like it's more economical and beneficial for them to be at home with me.
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  #6  
September 27th, 2004, 12:18 PM
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Oh yeah! I'm sick to death of hearing that!!! Unfortunately, my dh is usually the guilty party. He makes me so mad.
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  #7  
September 27th, 2004, 02:50 PM
oreokitten
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Quote:
Originally posted by MaddysMom@Sep 27 2004, 03:09 PM
Yeah I agree with the other Jen. What is the point in working if your paycheck is just gonna go back into daycare? I just feel like it's more economical and beneficial for them to be at home with me.
I am SICK of hearing it from my dad!
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  #8  
September 27th, 2004, 03:17 PM
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With all due respect, coming from a woman who works in an office full of dhs that have SAH wives with kids....all I ever hear is their financial woes. They all complain they can't pay their bills or are always stressed out b/c they don't make enough to live off of (and we are talking about engineer/technical salaries). And I get tired of these same dhs teasing me about how my dh must be rich if I own two brand new cars. Um, helllloooo I work too! Why do they assume I have a rich husband? I get sick of it myself. And then to hear them complain about their bankruptcies and their cars that can't make it to work and so forth.

Anyway, just thought I would throw that out there. B/c there are times when I want to scream at these complaining dh's about how they might have to take a second job b/c they don't have a rich dh like I supposedly do......tell your wives to start helping to support your drowning family!!! I get offended when they assume my dh makes bank and that is why I have nice things.....um, ya, I work fulltime and don't make min wage! I work dam hard for my family.
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  #9  
September 27th, 2004, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by TylerJ1029@Sep 27 2004, 02:00 PM
Yep. This is the first time I haven't worked since I was 12. Since I have no college education my whole pay check would probably go to daycare so what's the point of working?
Doesn't anyone qualify for more than a min wage job? Didn't anyone learn a skill or trade that would take them further than min wage? I mean who can live off of that? Blows my mind.

Anyway, I'll shut up b/c I know this isn't a debate board and it IS a support board fdor SAHMs (whom I have the up most respect for).
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  #10  
September 27th, 2004, 03:45 PM
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they always want to know why my Dh works 12 hours. Some people at his work ask him why he doesn't make me work!!

It doesn't make me mad. It makes him mad... We will not put our kids in childcare. As it is, only grandparents watch our kids!!
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  #11  
September 27th, 2004, 03:48 PM
I Heart 4x4
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Well, I'm just going to throw in my 2 cents again here.

If you think about it, most places - at least where I live - you would have to be making MORE than minimum wage at 40 hours a week to be able to cover child care. And what's more, the benefit of being a SAHM far outweighs making an extra $50 a month. JMHO. Because after all the bills and child care is paid for ... is it really worth being away from your children THAT much to make $50 more?

Not to me.

I swear, the government should pay SAHM's because it's as much work as TWO full time jobs - but we don't get paid, we don't get health benefits, there's no retirement plan, etc.

:soapbox: Stepping down now.
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  #12  
September 27th, 2004, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by mom2one@Sep 27 2004, 07:17 PM
With all due respect, coming from a woman who works in an office full of dhs that have SAH wives with kids....all I ever hear is their financial woes. They all complain they can't pay their bills or are always stressed out b/c they don't make enough to live off of (and we are talking about engineer/technical salaries). And I get tired of these same dhs teasing me about how my dh must be rich if I own two brand new cars. Um, helllloooo I work too! Why do they assume I have a rich husband? I get sick of it myself. And then to hear them complain about their bankruptcies and their cars that can't make it to work and so forth.

Anyway, just thought I would throw that out there. B/c there are times when I want to scream at these complaining dh's about how they might have to take a second job b/c they don't have a rich dh like I supposedly do......tell your wives to start helping to support your drowning family!!! I get offended when they assume my dh makes bank and that is why I have nice things.....um, ya, I work fulltime and don't make min wage! I work dam hard for my family.
this is a support board for SAHM..

THIS IS NOT A DEBATE BOARD... We are not over at the working mommies board posting over there.


Please show respect!
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  #13  
September 27th, 2004, 03:49 PM
ranidae
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Quote:
Originally posted by mom2one@Sep 27 2004, 04:19 PM
Doesn't anyone qualify for more than a min wage job?* Didn't anyone learn a skill or trade that would take them further than min wage? I mean who can live off of that? Blows my mind.
Actually yes I do qualify for a higher than minimum wage job IF I could use my training. I have my certificate in food service and have only two quarters to go to get my associates. I could be making at least 12-15.00 an hr starting wage but due to an injury (not at work) I donít have full use of my right arm anymore. I donít have any office experience and finding a job where you don't have to lift 25lbs or more is next to impossible. I would be stuck working as a cashier in some convenience store if they didnít have a 30lb weight limit.
As soon as I can afford it, that means once my youngest two get into school, I will go get retrained for something my disability will let me do.

A lot of people couldnít afford school or got married right out of high school and became housewives. It is each personís choice.


edited for spelling and grammar so I don't look unedgumacated
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  #14  
September 27th, 2004, 05:29 PM
twinsmom26
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Most decent paying jobs around where I live start out at around 14 an hour. So in a 40 hour work week that would make around 560 a week minus taxes would bring you close to 420 or maybe even lower I dont really know. Now let's minus the gas and the food money spent driving back and forth to work maybe 50 a week I would say, that brings you down to 370 a week now. Daycare around here is around 100 a week full time if not more, so that would mean for me 300 a week in daycare, which would bring me down to a whole 70 dollars a week. Hardly seems worth it to let somebody else raise my children for a measly 70 dollars a week in our pocket.
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  #15  
September 27th, 2004, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by mom2one+Sep 27 2004, 07:19 PM-->
Quote:
<!--QuoteBegin-TylerJ1029
Quote:
@Sep 27 2004, 02:00 PM
Yep.* This is the first time I haven't worked since I was 12.* Since I have no college education my whole pay check would probably go to daycare so what's the point of working?
Doesn't anyone qualify for more than a min wage job? Didn't anyone learn a skill or trade that would take them further than min wage? I mean who can live off of that? Blows my mind.

Anyway, I'll shut up b/c I know this isn't a debate board and it IS a support board fdor SAHMs (whom I have the up most respect for). [/b]
So what if I don't qualify for more than a minimun wage job? I don't...that's precisely why I don't work. There is no point. I AM qualified for my SAHM job, and although I may gripe and complain sometimes about it, I actually do love my JOB! And the skill I learned to get a "better than minimun wage" job was childbearing. So I am using that skill to "make my living".
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  #16  
September 28th, 2004, 02:32 PM
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I will not down sahm's or working moms, but I will say this. I am a stay at home mom, and I wouldnt trade it for the world. Yes, we do struggle..all the time actually, but my son doesnt know that. I have a nice place to live, a car that gets me from A to B, he never goes without food, and I get him things and take him places all of the time. There are lots of free things to do. My son would be just as happy going to the park as he would going to someplace like Chuck E Cheese, which is just video games anyway. Child care around here is between 150 and 250 a week per child. I dont care how much money you make that is a lot of money. Minimum wage here is 5.15, and at my last job I made 12.00 an hour. With only one child it didnt pay for me to work. It would be even less so if I had more than one child. Plus if you work 9-5, your dropping your kid off somewhere (where they are constantly getting sick) by 8 to not pick them up till 6 so that you can make dinner and then go to bed. Why have 2-4 rushed hours with my child when I can have the entire day to grow with my child. When my son is our age hes gonna remember that I was always there for him.....That he was the most important thing to me. Yeah money matters and its the first thing that everyone brings up, but Im sure that most sahms on here will agree its much more then that. I didnt try to concieve for two years so that I can drop him off somewhere to let someone else take care of him. I have worked in a daycare also (Kindercare) and I wouldnt send my child there if it were my last choice. It was awhile ago and Im sure that theyre not all like that, but once you see behind closed doors it changes your perspective. I wrote this very defensivly (unitentionally) and when I reread it it sounds rude to working moms and daycare workers. That is not my intention at all, cause to be honest I know very few stay at home moms and they are all great parents. I just dont like when people assume were lazy...so to anwser your question I am sick of hearing it. And as for the woman that says all the men in her office complain, my suggestion would be to tell them to leave it out of the work place and talk to their wives about it. Fellow coworkers cant solve your money problems. Maybe come to a compromise at home if its that bad. Get a 3 day a week parttime job when your hubbys home. And if you add up child care costs that were saving we technically bring home 600-1000 a month easy.

A Hundred Years From Now...

I will not matter what your bank account was,
What sort of house you lived in,
or the kind of car you drove....
But the world may be different because you were important in the life of a child.

Ok..Sorry...Thats it, I'm done.
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  #17  
September 28th, 2004, 04:29 PM
twinsmom26
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awww... msgold your son is sooo.... cute!! And your post was very well written, I agree!!
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  #18  
September 28th, 2004, 04:44 PM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by mom2one@Sep 27 2004, 05:19 PM
Doesn't anyone qualify for more than a min wage job? Didn't anyone learn a skill or trade that would take them further than min wage? I mean who can live off of that? Blows my mind.

Anyway, I'll shut up b/c I know this isn't a debate board and it IS a support board fdor SAHMs (whom I have the up most respect for).
Yes, I have a Masters Degree +. I taught high school math for 20 years and retired as Department Chairman after my 2nd child was born.

I did LOTS of checking around and found fantastic daycare for Brian (and, briefly, Julia.) I never had a moment's worry about leaving them there. I never once walked into a room without finding a teacher or an aide on the floor playing with the one child who, at that moment, did not want to do what the rest of the kids were doing. I loved them, they loved Brian-- it was like Woodstock!

The only problem is that you get what you pay for, and in this case it was $1000 per child per month. Even with the sibling discount, it cost $1800 per month for my 2 kids. Teaching in a Catholic school is not the way to get rich fast-- or slow. So I finished out that school year, and quit. (Actually, they knew I wasn't coming back before Julia was born in Feb.)

I also quit because I didn't become a mom until we adopted Brian when I was 40. I waited a long time for kids, and didn't want to miss out. Not to mention that, when he was little, Brian got an ear infection every 7-8 weeks. I had no problem leaving him with my mom or mil, but it was quite a hassle taking the 20 minute drive to moms, then doubling back 20 minutes to get to school. Add 2 more kids, and it's crazy!

But I do contribute financially. I tutor after school. There is ALWAYS a demand for math tutors-- for classwork and for the SAT. My former school is wonderful about recommending me when someone asks for a tutor. Righ now I'm tutoring 6-7 kids per week at $60 per hour. Combine that with my husband's teaching salary, and the money he makes doing photography on the side, and we're getting by.

In 3 more years, when Kira is in school full time, I'll go back to teaching. But, for now, this is the right choice for my family. I'm President of the Parent's Board at Julia's preschool. I volunteer for a group that meets infant Korean adoptees at the airport and unites them with their new families. And, selfishly, I get to spend my days with my kids. I know this time is precious, and fleeting. So I'm loving every day of it. It's not right for every family. But it's very right for ours.
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  #19  
September 29th, 2004, 05:53 AM
offlikeapromdress
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I had a job making way more than minimum wage, but by the time i paid $200 a week for daycare and gas,and other misc expenses assoc with working, I brought home less than $100 dollars a month. Whats the point? I can work at target p.t or babysit one child and bring home way more. So thats what I do. That way Im home w/my dd all day and I thoroughly enjoy it and then pick up odd jobs occassionally. My dad used to bug me about it till I told him how much I actually brought home and then he shut up..lol. We definitly live on a budget but my child hurts for nothing.
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  #20  
September 29th, 2004, 09:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by twinsmom26@Sep 28 2004, 06:29 PM
awww... msgold your son is sooo.... cute!! And your post was very well written, I agree!!
Awww Thanks that was sweet
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