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When Your Child Doesn't Want To Be Potty-Trained


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  #1  
June 27th, 2009, 04:45 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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Quote:
Dealing With Potty-Training Resistance
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  #2  
June 27th, 2009, 04:45 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 5
my son was born 3 months premature and he still doesnt use the potty he just turned 3 in may how can i teach him they told me he was gonna be delayed but is it normal for him to be 3 and not be potty trained? please help me i'm desperate.
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  #3  
June 27th, 2009, 04:46 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 5
my son was born 3 months premature and he still doesnt use the potty he just turned 3 in may how can i teach him they told me he was gonna be delayed but is it normal for him to be 3 and not be potty trained? please help me i'm desperate.
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  #4  
June 27th, 2009, 06:36 PM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 61,641
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOHEMI HERRERA View Post
my son was born 3 months premature and he still doesnt use the potty he just turned 3 in may how can i teach him they told me he was gonna be delayed but is it normal for him to be 3 and not be potty trained? please help me i'm desperate.
My son was seven weeks premature and didn't potty train until he was almost four. I have also met plenty of moms with kids that were not premature that had kids that didn't potty train until they are four. Try not to let it get to you. When they are ready they are ready. I have four kids and they all potty trained at different ages. I go by my kids readiness more than their age. Take a break and try again when he starts to show more of an interest.
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  #5  
June 27th, 2009, 06:41 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,619
welcome to JustMommies! I am sorry to hear you're having difficulties with potty training - it seems rather common!!!

I co-host the Potty Training board, and wanted to give you the link to the board incase you'd like to come & post there. We have lots of useful information over there, and of course other Mama's who are going through the trials & tribulations of potty training!

the link is:
Potty Training - JustMommies Message Boards

I hope to see yo uthere!
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  #6  
June 30th, 2009, 09:31 AM
Snowpeas
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Welcome to JM.

Check out this board too:
Preemies/NICU - JustMommies Message Boards
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  #7  
March 3rd, 2010, 09:44 AM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
This is definately my son! He's 3.5 and still not potty trained! It doesn't matter what we offer him, he usually won't poop in the potty. The pee isn't so hard, although we have had instances of him peeing on the floor. I keep hoping we will have success soon but it's good to know that we aren't the only ones out there who have a difficult child to potty train.
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  #8  
April 28th, 2010, 04:41 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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My son is also 3.5 and not potty-trained. Every now and then he will pee in the potty but forget about pooping. I've tried all the reward systems but nothing is working. He has 3 older cousins that are potty-trained, this includes my niece who is a month younger than my son, we've done the play day things and told him that none of them wear diapers so they're big kids now. NOTHING works with my hard headed booger.
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  #9  
July 6th, 2010, 11:53 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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WOW! It seems that most of us on here have BOYS that are 3.5 yrs old and not ready to potty train! My step-son doesn't even want the toys/treats I offer him if he goes. He just tells me "OH that's ok then I don't want it." The problem I am having now is that my 20 month old son is totally ready to potty train. He will sit on the potty (doesn't put anything in it yet, but he's showing intrest), but my older son will freak out and tell me not to put his brother on the potty. For some reason he is terrified of the toilet and the potty chairs. My husband and I are have ran out of ideas
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  #10  
July 11th, 2010, 04:30 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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My daughter is 3 ½ years old and she is really struggling with potty training. I am so desperate at this point... I really do not know what to do anymore. I can't find anything anywhere that we haven't tried. She really needs to be potty trained due to preschool approaching and she wants to go very bad so she can be there with her cousins. I don't think the problem is her ability to learn, I think it is just plain stubbornness and the fact that she could care less if she has pee or poop on her. We are talking about a little girl who talks very well, knows every animal and what sound they make, every color and shape, can even draw letters, and she is very creative. Ever since the time she was a baby she never cried when she was wet or dirty... she never cared, we had to check her constantly so she would not get a rash. I think that this has been the biggest obstacle for her… she has no reason really to go unless we constantly give her one. Another reason that is keeping her from going all of the time is that she is a real busy body… moves nonstop; she really hates to sit still.

She isn't absolutely refusing the potty; she just will not keep at it. There are times when she will go if she wants something really bad or if we just put her on... sometimes she will magically go on her own! At daycare she can go a whole day without having gone pee on herself but she holds her poop until she gets home, then hides and goes in her pants when she can. She has maybe gone poop 2 times on the potty. I am now expecting another baby in October, so this is going to make it worse if she's not fully potty trained by then. We have been doing this for over a year and a half now... shouldn't she be trained by now?

Here are just some of the things we have tried: 1) hugs and kisses and lots of excitement, 2) prizes and treats, 3) giving stickers, 4) after she learned that she needs to go in the potty and still wasn't doing it we tried putting her in the corner, 5) the cold turkey off diapers to panties, 6) taking away something she likes if she goes in her pants and then giving her something she likes when she goes on the potty, 7) giving her some privacy, 8) putting a potty in her room and then even in front of the TV for her to watch until she goes, 9) tell her we are going to go somewhere fun when she goes in the potty and when she does, we do, 10) letting her go to the potty the same time we do, 11) explaining why she needs to go on the potty.... the list goes on and on.

If there is anyone out there who has a kid like mine, please tell me what you did unless it is something I have already mentioned above. I'm especially talking about a kid who absolutely could care less if they are wet or dirty, very stubborn, and very much on the move. People are really starting to hurt my feelings lately about this issue; I can tell they think she should be trained by now. I keep getting the people who say their kid was trained by 2 ½ popping out of the wood work. I feel like this is somehow my fault that I am not finding a solution to this problem. I really feel like we have been consistent and tried so hard. School is starting soon and they won’t take her if she doesn’t go on the potty by herself… if we wait until she is ready to be not stubborn about this anymore, she may be 5 years old.

Last edited by Evangelinesmommy; July 11th, 2010 at 04:37 PM.
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  #11  
October 19th, 2010, 05:40 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1
my daughter will be three next month and is also very intelligent but stubborn and careless about potty training. seems like she just enjoys peeing on herself sometimes. i've tried everything you listed and then some and like you said, nothing seems to work and it really makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong. i've always heard that potty training was 98% child and 2% parent, but it does hurt when other people start commenting on your child not being potty trained.
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  #12  
November 18th, 2010, 10:11 AM
proudmommy2006.2009.2011's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Posts: 80
My daughter will be 4 on Friday (Nov. 19th), and throws a fit everytime I ask her to go sit on the potty. She stomps back the hallway, growls and slams the bathroom door shut. I'm at my wits end anymore. She is very stubborn and doesn't like to be told what to do. We've been trying to get her potty trained for 2 yrs now, but no breakthroughs. I need help!
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  #13  
December 8th, 2010, 02:52 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
My daughter is 3 and 1/2 and is resiting using the potty. We have tried the sticker charts, pullups with her fav character on it, rewards, "Big girls go on the potty". But, to no avail, she continues to not show interest in going potty "like a big girl". Her sister is 2 and she shows more interest in being ready or what have you then my 3 and 1/2 year old. I ask her "Where does pee and poop go?" Her response is "in the potty". I ask her and put her on the potty. She usually says "no I don't have to go", (then after her diaper is back on.. goes in her diaper)...or gets off the potty while screaming or saying "no no no". I have a 3 and 1/2 year old, a 2 year old, and a 3 month old. I need one of them out of diapers. I need some serious help with this issue. I dont have the money to be wasting it on pullups when she always goes in them, rather her go in a diaper which is cheaper. HELP!!
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  #14  
January 4th, 2011, 05:37 PM
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Posts: 3
To happlimarriedmotherof3

Few, I can see your point about getting one out of diapers. I was wondering if the older one wants to stay in them because the other two have them. Wonder if trying to get her to be the leader rather than just the big girl will do the trick. She may not like it if no 2 beats her and perhaps you could play on that.
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  #15  
January 31st, 2011, 09:02 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Detroit,MI
Posts: 2
my son is 28 mths and still has not pooped in the potty. He has tinkled a few times and will more willingly go for that but has NEVER pooped! Im starting to think he is afraid or something.. Ive tried treats and rewards... having a older toddler take him and even his dad... nothing! My daughter was a piece of cake for us but not him. And the worst part is he smells horrific and gets diaper rash quickly...please help !!!
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  #16  
January 12th, 2014, 12:52 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 11
My son is 3.5 years old. Usually he now pees in the potty but he is very resistant to poop in the potty. He just goes in his underwear and doesn't usually even let us know when he's done that. He sneaks it in, too. There aren't body language cues saying that 'deposit' is imminent. Yesterday my husband had him bare bottomed and he went by the front door, squatted there, and pooped. He knows where to go and has done it a few times, but usually chooses not to.
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