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5 Ways to Raise a "Good Enough" Child

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October 9th, 2009, 02:35 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 6
How many times have you told your ebullient child he's too loud or too active? How often have you told your contemplative, cautious child not to be a scaredy-cat and so shy?
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October 9th, 2009, 02:35 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 6
My main issue with this article is where the author says to let the child wear a pink tutu even if it embarrasses you in order to allow her to explore who she is.

I disagree.

I see plenty of tutus and mismatched clothes where parents are allowing the child to explore her own creativity. That's fine in the playground or at a play date but not at a formal function.

The child must learn, along with who she is and what she likes, socially acceptable practices and norms. If she is allowed to where a tank top and jeans to a funeral, how is she going to develop an understanding for formality and respect? A child needs to have a respect for her world inside AND the world outside. In learning to conform in certain situations, she is becoming more rounded and intelligent about society and culture. To hold that lesson from her in favor of her doing whatever she wants as not to hurt her feelings is actually hurting her development as a well-rounded member of society.

I am a tree-hugging liberal but I am not going to allow my child to wear inappropriate clothing to save her self-esteem. I am going to curtail her choices, develop within her an understanding of taste and uniqueness in what is acceptable and appropriate for given situations, so that she may easily move between one social situation and another, while honoring cultural standards and norms. To deny her this education is to her own detriment.

She can save her tutu for Halloween, sleepovers and playtime. Or maybe for a ballet rehearsal. That would be very nice.
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October 15th, 2009, 03:32 AM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chilliwack, BC, Canada
Posts: 3,646
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I agree. My biggest issue with that is that tutu now could = knee high boots and a mini skirt in grade 8. It would be embarrassing to me because its highly inappropriate, not because she's expressing her true self...

Largely though, I agree with the sentiment of the article - perhaps just not that exact example.
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January 6th, 2012, 11:42 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2
This article is the main reason why children today are brats!!! I am all for allowing a child to express him/ herself within reason. As long as it is respectful and your child doesnt become the butt of jokes in every situation he/she is in. Children need to learn what is right and what is wrong period. No you can't wear a pink tutu to church that just doesnt embarrass the parent but the child as well when he or she doesn't understand why they are being laughed at or being made fun of.
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March 8th, 2013, 11:40 AM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 192
I agree with the other commenters. There's no reason I wouldn't let DD wear whatever (weather appropriate) clothes she wants to when it's playtime, but it's important for her to know that there is a time and place for everything. She may wear her tutu to run errands with me or play, but she may not wear it to school or church.

The adult world is one built on custom and etiquette. Setting appropriate boundaries helps her learn what kinds of things are appropriate in what situations so that she can survive in the adult world.
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