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Coping with an Unplanned Pregnancy


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  • 1 Post By TillyTheDreamer
  • 1 Post By MindyRambo

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  #1  
December 13th, 2009, 12:43 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
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Quote:
Perhaps you are secretly excited about this but scared to tell your husband. Maybe you are not married and scared about facing motherhood alone. Maybe you do not want any more children and the prospect of having another baby is the worst thing you could imagine right now. There are many scenarios that lead up to unplanned pregnancies.
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  #2  
December 13th, 2009, 12:43 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2
help, guidance, i'm not sure what i'm looking for.
i was in a relationship got pregnant but had a miscarriage and the relationship failed about 7 months ago. I have wanted children since I was about 12, i'm now 29.
I met up with a friend one night, one thing led to another and well, now I'm writing on this board.
I did not "plan" to get pregnant but not being on contraception isn't the best way to not get pregnant and the two lines on the test say I am. I have wanted children for years but the guy is not the sort who is anywhere ready to have a child and I'm a professional and a student. I'm not the most financially sound living away from family but I would love this little one.
I'm 4 weeks, I'm contemplating an abortion as I have always wanted to bring a child into the world in a loving stable relationship and when I am more financially sound but right now this is where I am.
what I am struggling with right now is do I tell the guy. whatever I do, keep the child or not keep the child, do I tell the guy?

looking for advice/guidance. thanks.
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  #3  
December 15th, 2009, 04:46 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1
You shld tell him. You never know how he may feel but u shld get his opinion. Although ultimately it is ur decision to make and having his opinion will help u make urs. I have had an abortion before and am married and 40 with an unplanned pregnancy and was 2 sec away from having another abortion. But I fell this one is a keeper. Good luck!
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  #4  
December 15th, 2009, 10:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Virginia Beach ,VA
Posts: 3,789
I would tell him ,its only fair to him whatever you decide. Have you thought about adoption ? There could be a very loving family that wants a a child . Just a thought..GL
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  #5  
May 29th, 2010, 05:01 AM
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Gauteng - South Africa
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Tell him, he has a right to know. The ultimate decision will always be yours on whether or not to keep it. I told my bf of 2 years that I was pregnant and he left me because I would not have an abortion. At the end of the day the loss will be his. I am going to have a daughter that will love me unconditionally and he will always wonder... Good Luck. It is never easy!
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  #6  
September 3rd, 2010, 06:01 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2
well im in tha same situtation..my boyfriend doesnt want a baby right now He already has a 5year old. But Im 24 and feel like im ready i waited long enough and i just hope he gets over it as the time goes by..Im happy now and i just want him to feel the same!
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  #7  
May 31st, 2011, 05:38 PM
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Join Date: May 2011
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This is an amazing articial that I truly needed to read. Thank you so much!
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  #8  
July 10th, 2011, 05:41 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2
I just found out I am pregnant with my third child. My husband does not want me to have the child but I want to. I believe things happen for a reason.
You should also know we discussed a third child about 5 years ago and he said he did not want anyone children. This pregnancy was unplanned.
I feel very sad that my husband is so against this baby. He is very angry and says he doesn't know if he can do this. He is a great dad to the other two children we have.
Does anyone have any thoughts?
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  #9  
August 5th, 2011, 06:35 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1
also just found out I am pregnant with #3, I'm not sure how I feel about this and my husband is mad and barely speaking to me. We have 2 wonderful kids, ages 8 & 5, now we are starting all over. I feel like I am taking away from the 2 we already have... no vacations, not enough space, no extras. I am just so overwhelmed and it doesn't help with him acting this way. Just wondering how everyone else is dealing. I feel so guilty for feeling the way I do.
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  #10  
September 22nd, 2011, 10:30 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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I'm pregnant with my first and my husband is barely speaking to me now because he does not ( and never did) want children. I never wanted children at first, but the I changed my mind. Anyway, it's hard to feel thoroughly excited about my pregnancy when the father of my child is ignoring me. I feel so alone and depressed, but I am trying to keep my head above water. I've scheduled the first prenatal doc's appointment and he said he will try and make it. He says things like it doesn't matter to him what name I gave the child or if we tell my parents together or I tell them alone. I plan to tell my parents after the doc's appointment, with our without him there. Despite his feelings, I have a baby growing inside me that I have to think of. I hope my husband comes around eventually, but if not, the show must go on.
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  #11  
December 6th, 2011, 03:37 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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It's so sad that so many of you are married and your husbands are so upset about you having another child. I find this so heart breaking - I WISH I was married and that I was in a loving and committed marriage. This is my 4th child, I was married twice, both terribly abusive marriages that I escaped with my life and my sanity. I ask God every day to bless me with the right person.

My ex-boyfriend came back into my life almost 10 years after we had a relationship together. I wanted to get married - we were together for 3 years, had a daughter on the way, and his lack of commitment had me end the relationship with him. Our daughter has never known us in a relationship - she had a glimpse of that in April this year when I thought he had matured and was ready to have a family. I regret my daughter seeing us kiss, and seeing him pretend as if he wanted to create a life. I regret talking to her about how mommies and daddies are supposed to be. A week after I told him I didn't want to have anything else to do with him, after he came clean and told me that he didn't really know what he wanted and that it was just a nice thing to do, to be with me me sexually again... I found out I was pregnant. I had plans to go overseas with my children the end of this year, to move out of state and to live a life with my children at an age where they could flourish... all of my plans have been pushed ahead over 3 years.

I haven't spoken to him for several months now. I get angry sometimes, I get sad sometimes. I think about how I felt when we made love and how I was thinking my life was going to be right because of his coming back... and it makes me so angry. I am a God fearing woman, I believe that I am doing the right things and I had good intentions. Life is an obstacle course. It's about strength, agility, perseverance, not who finishes first.

Your children will grow to be happy little people, despite these circumstances today. Trust in God and keep moving forward.
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  #12  
October 24th, 2012, 08:17 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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I'm curious to know what everybody else who posted here decided. I am pregnant again. I have been pregnant every year since I was 18. This is my 7th pregnancy and I have 4 wonderful living children. I know that I don't want another baby right now but I am torn as I don't want to put myself through the pain of the alternatives but also I don't want my unborn baby to suffer in life either. I know I have time to think as I think I am only 6 weeks along. I agree with everything happens for a reason and God has always helped me bear my heavy burdens. Please any suggestions would be great.

Also I am married but I know my husband doesn't want another child and he told me that his mother even told him to leave me if I got pregnant again. Talk about stress and fear. Also our son is only 9 months old.
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  #13  
October 24th, 2012, 08:38 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 800
Quote:
Originally Posted by aramanou101 View Post
I'm curious to know what everybody else who posted here decided. I am pregnant again. I have been pregnant every year since I was 18. This is my 7th pregnancy and I have 4 wonderful living children. I know that I don't want another baby right now but I am torn as I don't want to put myself through the pain of the alternatives but also I don't want my unborn baby to suffer in life either. I know I have time to think as I think I am only 6 weeks along. I agree with everything happens for a reason and God has always helped me bear my heavy burdens. Please any suggestions would be great.

Also I am married but I know my husband doesn't want another child and he told me that his mother even told him to leave me if I got pregnant again. Talk about stress and fear. Also our son is only 9 months old.
Not to be rude, because obviously what's done is done, but why aren't you and your husband taking precautions if you both don't want another baby? If you've been pregnant every year since you were 18, maybe you need to look at other options. I realize BC can and does fail, but this is a bit much. What method are you using? Seems it's not working for you and you need to consider other options.
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Last edited by MindyRambo; October 24th, 2012 at 09:49 AM.
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  #14  
December 20th, 2012, 07:02 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2
I really could use some advice. I'm 21 years old, and my boyfriend and I are expecting. We have only been together for 4 months, so I know this will come as a shock to many. My parents are very conservative Christians, and I know they will be VERY upset. When I got a tattoo at age 18, my father didn't talk to me for a month. How do you think my boyfriend and I should tell my parents? He and I are honestly so excited to be parents, but we're terrified to tell mine. Thank you <3
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  #15  
March 7th, 2013, 04:32 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1
It shocks me to see that all of yall are married and yalls husbands ignore yall. Ive been with my fieance for almost four years now and we have a lovely daughter and expecting one now that is unplanned. Running off and getting an abortion is not the answer if you do that you are killing an innocent life. Instead why don't you look into adoption. Give that baby a chance in life somebody else will love that baby for you. There are plenty of women who cant have kids every think about that. But good luck to you all in the decision you make.
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  #16  
April 10th, 2013, 01:28 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 1
I am 44 and the mother of three ranging in age from 21 to 12. I wanted another baby for years but because I'm not married now I stopped thinking that way. Well I recently lost my sister to cancer and my ex-boyfriend was there to comfort me and we had unprotected sex two before ovulation. I haven't missed yet but am feeling symptomatic. We are not back together we just never stopped being friends. I just don't know how this would effect our friendship if I turned out to be pregnant, I love being a mom but it has been 12yrs since I had my own little one. I am the aunt of 4 with the youngest being 2mnths ol now and I love spoiling them and keeping them but don't know if I am able-bodied enough for my own. If I am pregnant I will embrace it and pray all turns out well....
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