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  #1  
March 31st, 2010, 10:10 AM
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Wasn't really sure where to put this, so if it's in the wrong spot, feel feel to let me know. I finally got around to looking at all of the different forums on here (there's quite a few.. took me awhile). I noticed that there is a natural childbirth forum, c-section forum, vbac forum, and a homebirth forum, but (unless I missed it somehow) there is no forum specifically for moms who've had or are going to have an induction delivery. I know there's a lot of women here who've had an induction.. some for it, some against.. it just seemed odd to me that there wasn't a specific forum for induced delivery since it does really end up being a hot topic debate if you talk about it anywhere else.
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  #2  
March 31st, 2010, 01:39 PM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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I think it's a byproduct of our society. Induction is such a common accepted practice that it doesn't merit it's own forum. It's no different than "childbirth" in most peoples' opinion. That's just my take on it. And interestingly there's also a board for cesarean grief but only recently a group (still no board) for birth trauma or just general delivery grief. I guess if the baby comes out of your vagina, you don't get to have any negative emotions about the experience. Just my
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  #3  
March 31st, 2010, 03:00 PM
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Last edited by ~Allison~; April 1st, 2010 at 12:28 PM.
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  #4  
March 31st, 2010, 03:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Allison~ View Post
Comments like this is exactly why I stopped posting on this board.
What's the problem? It wasn't a judgment call or directed at anyone or a specific birth choice. The context is clear. There's a forum for mothers experiencing c-section grief, but no forum for mothers experiencing birth trauma. That can be read as one implying there's no grief or trauma associated with vaginal birth. It is believed by some if a mom has a vaginal birth regardless of how it turned out or was managed, that there shouldn't be any negative feelings associated with it. Baby is healthy so why the sadness. That thinking is not all that uncommon.

It is far more acceptable to have c-section grief as many of those c-sections are the result of various interventions gone wrong. The c-sections in these cases tend to be "emergencies." If one did not go in expecting to have a c-section then it can be tough to swallow and process.
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  #5  
March 31st, 2010, 04:57 PM
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I guess my point is that while inductions might be more common now, there's really nowhere here where you can go to talk to other moms who've also had an induction about their experiences and nowhere really here for moms who have chosen induction for this baby to go and talk to moms who've BTDT and get support for their decision, because if you post anything about inductions anywhere, you get at least a few who feel the need to tell you what a horrible decision you're making or made, who call you uneducated, and who feel you are an awful mother for putting your baby through an induction, and when you are simply looking for a little support or to hear experiences of people who've BTDT, getting all the crap from all the other moms who assume that because you are choosing induction you haven't educated yourself already, and then feel the need to "educate" you themselves makes you leary of seeking support in the first place. Now I'm NOT trying to get into a debate on induction, so please please don't go there.. I'm just expressing my thoughts that there should be a board where mom's who have chosen or are choosing an induction can go to talk to other moms who've BTDT for support without all the negitivity that follows the subject.
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  #6  
March 31st, 2010, 05:12 PM
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you can freely talk about your inductions here!! It's pretty much considered under the labor and childbirth topic!! talk away women!!
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  #7  
March 31st, 2010, 05:52 PM
~Allison~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicaChels View Post
you can freely talk about your inductions here!! It's pretty much considered under the labor and childbirth topic!! talk away women!!
Maybe there could be an induction subforum?
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Last edited by ~Allison~; April 1st, 2010 at 12:29 PM.
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  #8  
March 31st, 2010, 06:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Allison~ View Post
If I want to have an opinion as to why I don't like something that was posted, I will. If you don't like it, I'm sorry, you don't need to question me. It's posts like that one, this one, and so many others on this board that have made me stop posting here.


[. . .]
Um, you posted in a public forum. What you say is fair game. I never said you couldn't have an opinion, nor did I say you couldn't express your opinion. I also didn't place a value judgment on your statement. I simply asked what was wrong with the post you take an issue with. I'm not seeing what there is to take offense to.

You singled out one sentence from her post which distorted the context. Completely missed the point of her post.
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  #9  
March 31st, 2010, 07:31 PM
~Allison~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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  #10  
April 1st, 2010, 08:02 AM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
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I actually agree with Andrea. I think that those in favor of induction should have a private, SAFE place to discuss it.

I wholeheartedly agree with Danielle though too. I wasn't allowed to feel any remorse or sadness for my first birth even though it turned out vastly different than I ever hoped.
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  #11  
April 1st, 2010, 09:05 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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I'll second the vote for an induction sub-forum. My induction was due to Dr concern about baby's size (although it would turn out she wasn't too big at all) but it is tough to discuss or ask questions about induction because it's a subject that tends to start heated debates.

If there are any ladies currently considering induction and don't want to post questions in forum please feel free to PM me...my induction was not text book and I did have some complications (all of which turned out ok) but I can share my experiences and some things I wish I had done differently (and why).
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  #12  
April 1st, 2010, 09:17 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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I am all in favor of a safe place for people to discuss inductions. I know better than most what it's like to be attacked from all sides for having an opinion that is threatening to others. You wouldn't BELIEVE the flack I took in our PR for being unhappy with my cesarean. I'm not going to stop discussing my negative induction experience in the main forum just bc some people don't like that I feel angry about the fact that my hospital forced me into something that literally almost killed my child, but if women want a place to go and hear GOOD induction experiences without feeling wary that someone might attack them, I definitely think they should have that. My goal with this board and others is and has always been to promote the idea that women should be in control of their own bodies and their rights should be respected during pregnancy and birth. A woman has a RIGHT to be induced if she wants to be as far as I'm concerned. And she has a right to discuss that desire with others and not fear being judged.

I personally - even though I apparently suck at getting this message across - do not judge ANYONE for the birth choices they make. I'm not of the mindset that women who don't educate themselves on birth procedures are somehow bad moms. I think that doctors and midwives and nurses who ignore what their patient wants are bad healthcare professionals. And I think there are a lot of us who live in areas where we lack choices. And that needs to change.

A woman with a favorable bishop score who wants to be induced should absolutely have that right. Just as a woman with an unfavorable bishop score who does not want to be induced, should also have that right. I think in our proposed subforum we should have stickied info on the pros and cons. Maybe Allison and Andrea who both have good experiences can collaborate on the Pro sticky. And those of us with negative experiences can collaborate on the cons. And then we just put that info out there for people to read or not read as they choose. But I wholeheartedly support the idea that women who go there to post about inductions should be protected from anyone making negative or snide or insulting comments to them. And as hosts, Chels and I will 100% open up a can of whoop-a** on anyone who attacks one of our members.

Perhaps also a subforum with the same fundamental concept for women who are unhappy with their birth experience - no matter the reason?
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  #13  
April 1st, 2010, 09:24 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaeph View Post
I actually agree with Andrea. I think that those in favor of induction should have a private, SAFE place to discuss it.
.
Are you thinking it should be password protected? Or did you just mean private in the sense that it's not on the main board?
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  #14  
April 1st, 2010, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoaMomma! View Post
Perhaps also a subforum with the same fundamental concept for women who are unhappy with their birth experience - no matter the reason?

I think that's an awesome idea as well. Even having a vaginal birth can be traumatic when everything doesn't go as planned and heck even if everything does go as planned it can be traumatic the first time. And I know that when your 15 hours into a hard labor, in pain and so exhausted and worn out, if someone is coming and offering a way to get that baby out now you might agree to things you wouldn't normally agree to just because you're so worn down.. at least that's how I felt with Noah's forceps birth... and you don't always feel good about that afterwards when you have your senses back even though baby turned out ok .
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  #15  
April 1st, 2010, 12:56 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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so we want two subforums? One for induction chatter and one to talk about less than perfect birth experiences?
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  #16  
April 1st, 2010, 08:25 PM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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since there is no c/s grief anymore - I think a birth trauma grief sub-forum would be good.

the reason why there was one to begin with is the women who were unhappy with their c/s were criticized on the main c/s forum.

it wasn't to discredit vaginal birth grief - it was to get the women who loved their c/s's to stop beating up on the ones who were not.
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  #17  
April 1st, 2010, 10:55 PM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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Yeah they are pretty vicious. I've encountered that even in my own playroom. I won't even go in the c/s forum bc the topics make me feel sick and angry. But I think a subforum here will be a good thing. I tried posting in the cs grief forum right after my dd was born. It felt too isolated. Too lonely. Being part of a larger and welcoming group will be healthier for everyone. Though I still don't understand why being unhappy with any birth angers people who liked theirs.....?
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  #18  
April 2nd, 2010, 06:51 AM
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The only thing I can think for why it makes others angry is some people might feel that if you're unhappy with something that you both had, that it means you judge them for liking it. Birth is such a personal thing. It's kind of a moms "right of passage". So it's hard when things go horribly wrong. It's hard when people think choices you made are wrong for them--as it's hard to not interpret that as saying those choices are wrong for everyone.

My first birth had interventions. My water broke on its own, labor didn't start. I had pitocin. I had an epidural. I enjoyed that birth and I wouldn't change it. In fact, I often said that I would rather give birth like that three times than be pregnant, give birth, and deal with the postpartum period. Of the 12 months from conception to 3 months old, the birth was my favorite part.

My SIL got pregnant when my son was about a year old. For the last 4 months or so of her pregnancy, she somehow seemed to work into every conversation how she was going to have a natural birth. She'd bring up in conversation how she was seeing a midwife rather than an OB. She talked about how epidurals were so horrible for the baby. She always blew off my warnings to not have too rigid of a "birth plan" since you can't really plan birth. Even when her water broke but labor hadn't started, she still made comments that sounded like she was condemning my choices. Honestly, it was really hard to not feel like she was judging my birth. It was hard to feel like she wasn't looking at my birth as an example of what she didn't want--especially since I consented to my interventions before it became a health/safety issue; I felt like they were my choice.

I don't think that you sounded judgmental of women who are happy with their c-sections when you were attacked in our PR. But I do think they attacked you because they felt judged. Maybe its their own issues they're dealing with? I think they failed to realize that there is a huge difference between how one feels about a choice that is made when mom and baby are healthy vs an intervention that is done when the "choice" is "intervention or risk the health/life of you or your child".
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  #19  
April 2nd, 2010, 07:10 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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very well said, Silver!
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  #20  
April 2nd, 2010, 08:11 AM
~Allison~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverlife View Post
The only thing I can think for why it makes others angry is some people might feel that if you're unhappy with something that you both had, that it means you judge them for liking it.
You took the words right out of my mouth...
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