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Forum: Labor and Childbirth

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  #1  
August 2nd, 2010, 01:19 PM
MamaMandy's Avatar is it Spring yet??
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My daughter was born via planned c/s, so I never went into labor. I did not plan on having another child & long ago forgot whatever I knew about vaginal birth & labor. I feel completely foolish asking about this...feel free to laugh, but yes, I am serious.

I am not sexually active, haven't been for over a year, except obviously "that one time". So here goes - does being sexually active ease delivery at all? Either by muscle use or stretching? Thinking logically, when you are having regular sex your vagina's muscles & natural elasticity are in play, being used & stronger - and maybe it is just me but I know my vagina is smaller now than when I was in action. I had this (crazy?) thought that maybe I ought to be breaking out the battery operated buddy to loosen & strengthen my vagina. Ok, now I am embarassed! I really don't want to have to ask anyone in person so I'd appreciate any knowledge or theories you all have to share... Thank you!
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  #2  
August 2nd, 2010, 01:52 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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don't be embarrassed!!! and congrats on your newest addition!


Orgasms in general are good when pregnant because they do help tone the uterus...they're also good for helping to bring on labor as you near 40w+ because the orgasm can stimulate contractions (don't worry, having an orgasm now won't send you into preterm labor or anything)





as far as sex and elasticity..hmm I really don't know! I don't think it would do much, but you really never know! Are you going for a vbac?


Sorry I can't be more helpful..maybe someone else can chime in! I hope you stick around to our slow, but wonderful board
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December 9, 2013
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Hospital water birth
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  #3  
August 2nd, 2010, 02:12 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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this made me laugh because I could just see my husband reading this and saying to me "see if we'd only had MORE sex in your 3rd tri you wouldn't have torn"

i have no idea whether it would help or not...but why not if it doesn't hurt to try?
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  #4  
August 2nd, 2010, 03:04 PM
MamaMandy's Avatar is it Spring yet??
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Thank you, ladies. That's good to know, solo orgasms are much easier to accomplish than sex. Much less complicated! I have NO drive or desire to actually have sex, but if it would help, well, there's "tools" to simulate it.

I am going for a VBAC, I do NOT want to deliver by being cut open again if I can help it. Major surgery+newborn+6 year old is not a good combo for a single mom with a bad back!

Yeah, I'm sure a man would be thrilled with this and tell me "of COURSE it helps"!!
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Raising my kids with boundaries - NOT battle lines.

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There's a reason they are called dependents...

AP is not alternative to those who see no other choice

http://helpguide.org/mental/parentin...t_disorder.htm



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  #5  
August 2nd, 2010, 03:45 PM
~Allison~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Easy labors & delivery vary from person to person, and delivery to delivery.

When I was pregnant with DS, DH & I only had sex once, and that was very early in my pregnancy. That being said, I had a very, very easy labor (7 hours) and an easy delivery (born after only 4-5 pushes). I did have a 3rd degree tear, but I don't think having sex would have prevented that.
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  #6  
August 2nd, 2010, 06:55 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Allison~ View Post
Easy labors & delivery vary from person to person, and delivery to delivery.

When I was pregnant with DS, DH & I only had sex once, and that was very early in my pregnancy. That being said, I had a very, very easy labor (7 hours) and an easy delivery (born after only 4-5 pushes). I did have a 3rd degree tear, but I don't think having sex would have prevented that.
could aaden be any cuter??? seriously!! I miss you posting here! He melts my heart
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December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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  #7  
August 3rd, 2010, 10:52 AM
silverlife's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You could always try massaging your perineum to get it "in practice" for stretching for a baby.

Childbirth dot org - Perineal Massage in Pregnancy
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  #8  
August 3rd, 2010, 04:01 PM
Corrupt's Avatar Happy Mama
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Can't say about the sex part. It certainly couldn't hurt but don't force the issue if you're just not into it.
My midwife told me about a study which found that squatting (ie a deep squat) helped to prevent tearing. I opted for that instead of perineal massage which looked like way too much of a commitment for me lol. Did it help? I have no idea but I ended up with only a small tear requiring no stitches and in the end, I'm sure it didn't hurt.
Have faith in your body! Best of luck.
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  #9  
August 3rd, 2010, 05:14 PM
MamaMandy's Avatar is it Spring yet??
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Thanks yet again, ladies! How did I forget about the perineal massage thingie?! I will look into the squatting also. Like you've said, it can't hurt!

It's kinda funny, in a way, not ha ha funny tho...for the last 2 years, every few months or so I'd see a man I knew back in school (15 years ago!) at our kids' different school functions. It was the cliche eyes meeting across the room, and catching each other staring...definite wowza sparks on both ends, you know? Brief moments I'd re-awaken sexually. This past winter, "M" and I were finally both single at the same time & happened to see each other, swapped numbers, spending a lot of time talking, we'd go to the games he was coaching, that kind of thing and OMG I actually was feeling ok around & LIKING a man. Then came the "forced implantation" I'll say, which set me back, then the bombshell of when I found out I was pregnant...but you know, "M" has never stopped calling, and wanting to go out, or treated me like I'm broken or damaged...I've been having dreams about him lately, which is really what got me thinking about this sexual preparation for labor. Could I? Should I? That kinda thing. Maybe a double benefit, give me courage and faith in more than one area of being a woman? I dunno, maybe TMI, but I think our subconscious has amazing ways of mentally giving gentle nudges to where we need to move!! Or maybe i am just plain nuts.
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Raising my kids with boundaries - NOT battle lines.

Children are not little adults, but they ARE people too!

There's a reason they are called dependents...

AP is not alternative to those who see no other choice

http://helpguide.org/mental/parentin...t_disorder.htm



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  #10  
August 4th, 2010, 10:34 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think you should follow your intuition on the subject! It sounds like you kind of already know what you want.


I was also going to suggest trying to give birth in either the squatting position or on hands and knees. laying on your back is the position most likely to cause tears.

do you know what kind of birth you're going for? are you going to a doctor or a midwife?
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December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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  #11  
August 4th, 2010, 05:43 PM
MamaMandy's Avatar is it Spring yet??
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicaChels View Post
I think you should follow your intuition on the subject! It sounds like you kind of already know what you want.


I was also going to suggest trying to give birth in either the squatting position or on hands and knees. laying on your back is the position most likely to cause tears.

do you know what kind of birth you're going for? are you going to a doctor or a midwife?
My intuition changes moment to moment, I swear. From a bit hopeful, to terrified & uh uh, no way, never again will I be with a man!!! No offense to those of you who are with a good man...

Is there a particular position(s) that lessen the chance and or severity of back labor? That's #2 for what I want to avoid, right after a c/s. I have a segment of my low spine, the L5 vertebrae, that was broken off from my spine and moves vertically and slips over/under the surrounding vertebrae & nerves, plus a herniated/ruptured disc in my low back, and most of my discs are degenerated. Yeehaw. So, back labor would really, really suck! And I am not sure what positions I'll be able to hold, a squat sometimes makes that L5 crunch into the other bones.

I wanted a midwife, but have too many providers. I have a couple other chronic health conditions so I have to keep my PCP, and these require special management esp. with med prescribing, while pregnant that the PCP defers to an OB for, and there's no way insurance would cover a midwife too! Don't blame them. I was very, very lucky to find a midwife student who is providing FREE doula services for me!! So, I am going for natural to try & avoid an epidural...we'll see!!

Thank you!
__________________
Raising my kids with boundaries - NOT battle lines.

Children are not little adults, but they ARE people too!

There's a reason they are called dependents...

AP is not alternative to those who see no other choice

http://helpguide.org/mental/parentin...t_disorder.htm



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  #12  
August 5th, 2010, 08:41 AM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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oh i had terrible back labor....

things that really helped me:

Hands and knees (if you must get an IV, request it to be in your arm because hands and knees with an IV in your hand kind of sucks
SItting on my knees and hugging the top of the bed (This worked the best)
Sitting backward on the toilet and laying over it while DH (you might look into a doula?) pushing on my hips


mostly any position that isn't laying on your back
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December 9, 2013
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Hospital water birth
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  #13  
August 5th, 2010, 12:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Back labor is rough... I had it with my daughter. I spent a lot of time on my knees laying on a birthing ball with DH &/or my doula applying counter pressure to my back. Unfortunately, it's all about the position of the baby. If you're interested in a natural birth, you should check out the NCB board. There are some good articles in the sub-forums on positions during back labor.
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  #14  
August 18th, 2010, 08:37 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
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OK I'm way late to this party but on the off chance you check this thread again I wanted to go ahead and throw in my The same hormones that cause changes in your pelvis will loosen your vaginal walls. I noticed a DEFINITE difference in "tightness" in the last month or so before my dd arrived and lord knows we weren't having any sex

As for breaking in the new man, my personal advice would be to wait until after the baby is born bc you have a lot going on right now emotionally and it seems like a new intimate relationship might be putting too much stress on you. And also maybe I'm the odd one here, but pregnant sex was SO AWKWARD. Towards the end, my DH refused to even try The only position he wanted to do was woman on top and I couldn't handle it bc the belly put too much strain on my back and the increased weight hurt my carpal tunnel ridden wrists. I just couldn't imagine dealing with the awkwardness of getting to know someone intimately for the first time while dealing with the baby bump. But that being said, if you decide it's what you want - then go for it! This may be the last chance you have to do what YOU want for a little while.
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