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I recently delivered my first (a healthy little boy) and it was a terrible experience. I ended up with a postpartum hemorrhage and had to undergo emergency surgery and get a blood transfusion. The medical emergency combined with my weakened state afterwords (and I also now have postpartum depression) has really affected my ability to bond with my baby. I feel stuck thinking about the birth and how I wish it would have gone. I'm just wondering if anyone else out there had a postpartum hemorrhage? If so, did subsequent births go any better?
I never had a postpartum hemorrhage, I recall feeling really disapointed after a birth and how it went. It was my second birth, and although, I have now excepted, that it wasn't that bad, I really beat myself up about the experience, to the point where, I left my DDC b/c I couldn't bare to hear their better experiences.
My first advice to you would be to see the help of your caregiver for antidepressants (though it sounds like you have done this). This is really important! Also, find someone who you can talk to about your birth. I had a doula,and she reminded me about all the things I did right, and how good it was when I did this, and how impressed she was when I did that. I was able to look at if differently eventually, and except that I did great, and birth never goes as planned.
If you want to message me privately, I would happy to "listen" to you vent, or share your story. I am sorry you are feeling this way!
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I have had two postpartum hemorrhages, with my second and third child. The 1st was so bad I had to sign papers to have a hysterectomy, they couldn't get the bleeding to stop. Thank God, it did just as I signed the papers my uterus started to clamp. I was unable to breastfeed due to my low iron and felt horrible and had horrible depression, thank goodness for anti-depressants, my hubby and therapist! Second baby pretty much the same situation this time though had to have a D&C and blood transfusions! It was easier to get through the second, due to my past therapy. I had to realize it wasn't my fault, these things unfortunately happen, it's very scary and I know you wonder what you could have done differently, but really birth can be so unpredictable. I am pregnant with my fourth due any day and it scares the hell outta me that this can happen again, but I have been mentally preparing myself since I found out we were expecting. I hope you seek out the support of your family and friends and maybe join a support group, sometimes the hospitals have postpartum support groups that can be really helpful. I pray you feel better and just know that although it didn't go the way you planned you did do something pretty amazing and brought your beautiful baby into the world that is a huge feat in and of itself, you should be so proud mama!
Thanks for the replies. I am on antidepressants and have joined a support group, both of which have helped tremendously. I am thankful that I still have my uterus. I know I will be so nervous for the next pregnancy, but I have to keep in mind that the ultimate goal is a healthy baby and a healthy mom, however that happens.
^I had pp hemmorrhage after the twins AND after this baby.
First time- I went home and my uterus became "unclamped" (known as uterine atony) and I passed clots the size of bowling balls, one after the other and bled all over the bathroom. We called 911. Thankfully, we were able to stop the bleeding with LOTS of drugs and I didn't end up with a transfusion. It took 3 more days before my uterus was clamped and finally I could go home.
Second time- During pregnancy I was severely anemic and was given Venofer (iron infusion) 3x during the weeks prior to delivery and then was to stay on iron pills. Thank GOD because had I not done that, I may have had to have a blood transfusion myself.
We knew I was at risk because I had an atony before and so we were much more prepared. This time, I was given a little pitocin during birth to augment the labor (good thing, she was big). After she was born, they kept the pitocin on and turned it up a little bit. I started hemmorrhaging again, so they turned it up a lot and also gave misoprostil (cytotec) to get the uterus to contract big-time. It finally helped and I was advised to massage the uterus every hour and empty my bladder as much as possible. I had 2 more bleeding episodes so was given methergine every 6 hours. Finally, the bleeding slowed to a more normal lochia bleed.
I have had much less issues with bleeding this time than the first because we acted immediately during/after the birth.
I would suggest that you wait ONE YEAR before getting pregnant again for your own safety and that you advise the hospital of your prior situation and they should have everything on hand to help you. I would also be very diligent about getting your hemoglobin levels checked during pregnancy and make sure you're taking enough iron. Just because it happens once doesn't mean it WILL again, but you do have a higher risk of a repeat, so taking precautions is very necessary.
Mom to many
1 Girl 2011 and 1 Boy 2013. Their family is COMPLETE!