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Hi everyone! This is kind of long, so PLEASE bear with me!!!
I think I've posted this before but I just wanted hear again, what you all think about my situation--especially you midwives on here!!!
Ok. So DH and I want to TTC #2 in the next month or so and with my first pregnancy, I ended with a terrible C/S. Of course, the next time around, I want to have a VBAC. I'm totally obsessed with it! After my C/S, I felt robbed of my sense of control. I felt like I had failed myself as a woman to give birth to my DD like God intended.
Here's my story: I was 40 weeks and 2 days, induced with pitocin and AROM at the exact same time at 8:00am. Hooked up to fetal monitor and toco. My inital vag exam: 2cm, 50% effaced, -2 station (I'd been this way for 2 weeks). At 10:00am, the toco monitor wasn't picking up any contractions and all I could feel were intense, no-rest-in-between menstrual-like cramps. So they inserted an IUPC, which picked up a good pattern. They turned up the pit again. This vag exam: the same...2/50%/-2. So at 1:00pm, the cramps are so bad, there were NO rest periods in between. I don't think I experience a real contraction the entire time. I'd watch my contraction reach acme on the strips and feel exactly the same as without a contraction--crampy. So the cramps are so bad, I'm getting mad because I know that this isn't right, and I thought if I relaxed, I'd dilate and the baby would come down. So I get an epidural at 2:00pm. Vag exam, again, reveals I haven't progressed AT ALL! You can imagine how disgusted I was. At 5:00pm, the dr comes in, does another vag exam...You guessed it! NO PROGESS AT ALL!!! No fetal distress, no maternal temp, blood pressure great, had clear fluid with AROM. And I had maxed out on the pit drip. So the dr says I need a C/S "for the health of the baby." How could I refuse that? When the dr cut me open, and my healthy beautiful DD was born, she had a big caput on the side of her head in the temporal area, right above her ear! So she was asynclitic and they couldn't even tell...I thought they could tell with the vag exams! (Feeling the suture lines) I looked at my O.R. report at work (at the hospital) and it said that "it appears that [I] have a normal female pelvis." This is good news for and my VBAC, right?
The dr was not justified in doing my C/S, was she? Could I have refused and my DD be born vaginally and healthy? I worked in my family birth center (mainly nursery & postpartum) and I hardly see moms that are complete failure to progress like I was.
My main question is this: Are my chances good for a VBAC next time? My dr doesn't do them, so I have to find one who does, and I want to be able to bakc myself up on my reasons for VBAC in my intial consult. And why didn't I progress? Was it because of the baby's head presentation? Was my body just not ready? I'm scared of not progressing again in my labor experience. I think about his all the time.
Thanks everyone for reading my post! Sorry it was so long.
Ok. So DH and I want to TTC #2 in the next month or so and with my first pregnancy, I ended with a terrible C/S. Of course, the next time around, I want to have a VBAC. I'm totally obsessed with it! After my C/S, I felt robbed of my sense of control. I felt like I had failed myself as a woman to give birth to my DD like God intended.[/b]
I so feel/felt this way with the birth of my DD. I am also trying for a vbac, I am due Christmas Day.
All the reading I have done, I have found that in my situation I seem to be good candidate for vbac.
My C/s scar low sideways.
I waited at least 18mons between births
The reason I had a c/s with my DD was due to position
I have had no problems with this pg (not gd, no high bp, ect)
Here is a great website for info. The only ppl who can make this desision are you and your doctor. Its good to get info and know your rights.
Im sorry youve came away with these feelings, but the upside is, it appears youve learned a great deal, and there is still more to learn and grow from it
To address your questions:
The dr was not justified in doing my C/S, was she?
This is a tricky question - justified is a tough word In her mind, Im sure she was justified. Obviously, youre not feeling that a failed induction with no clear danger to the baby was a justifiable reason.
Could I have refused and my DD be born vaginally and healthy?
Very possibly. Of course, this is a big maybe. Under the circumstances, after enough of a "forced" labor with pitocin, artificial rupture of membranes, internal exams, and an internal monitor, the baby may have likely experienced distress eventually - the environment wasnt exactly a natural one. Each of those things all individually increase the risk of distress, and collectively could have evnetually taken a toll. You COULD have refused an induction since it was only for post dates, and b/c your body wasnt showing signs of readiness, and then you very likely would have had a normal vaginal delivery, safe & healthy.
Also in this case, you could have asked that the pitocin be turned off, vaginal exams stopped, and an induction restarted the next day. This is the problem with AROM though, once its done, theres no goign back. Had the AROM not occured, you could have easily said "stop this" and gone home, and either tried again later or better yet, let nature take its course. As they say - its not nice to try to fool mother nature.
I worked in my family birth center (mainly nursery & postpartum) and I hardly see moms that are complete failure to progress like I was.
This is because when nature takes its course, its a very rare event. Almost NEVER seen in natural labor. However, its seen VERY often in medically managed labor.
My main question is this: Are my chances good for a VBAC next time?
Given what you said, absolutely - YES. Do your research though. You seem like a great candidate for a VBAC, but I would encourage you to REALLY do your research, and do everything you can to avoid the things that are likely to end in a repeat cesarean.
My dr doesn't do them, so I have to find one who does, and I want to be able to bakc myself up on my reasons for VBAC in my intial consult. And why didn't I progress? Was it because of the baby's head presentation? Was my body just not ready? I'm scared of not progressing again in my labor experience. I think about his all the time.
start reading! There are some gerat books out there. The VBAC companion is one, another is Thinking Womans Guide to a Better Birth (By Henci Goer). Also pick up Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth.
Like most women here in this country, in this culture, and in this time, you lack a sense of trust in birth and your body. But the truth is, most women lack it. Were raised and conditioned to think that our bodies dont work properly on their own, that we "need" all this medical management, and that "thank goodness" the dr was there to save us from ourselves. Fortunately, this is not the reality of birth. You are absolutely capable of having a baby... theres a saying that says something to the effect of 'just as sure as we know how to inhale and breathe - we know how to give birth". Birht is safe - intervention is not. Intervention is what led to your cesarean - not your body's lack of ability.
those are just a couple of books, and there are some great resources online. Ican-Online is a website for the International Cesarean Awareness Network and they have some good info. Theres several other vbac websites that youd benefit from as well.
Good luck, Im glad youre thinking of it, it may be frustrating now, but it will serve you well in the long run