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It depends on how close to the person I am. If it's a close friend, then I go and try to suck it up. I haven't been able to really be happy and cheerful for them, but that might be different if it was someone who was also dealing with infertility. If I'm not very close to them then I decline. If I know someone else who is going I will send a gift with them.
Thanks Bokkechick for my wonderful siggy! TTC Blog
I have found that when I get the invitation it kind of takes the wind out of my sails but once I am able to process it, by the time the shower comes around I am genuinely happy. For me, for some strange reason, buying the shower gifts is usually what helps me turn the corner.