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Hi, everyone. I'm in the May 06 PR with Sadie, and she told me you are a supportive bunch. I need that now, as I'm feeling pretty down.
My Anna was born small, only 5 lbs 9 oz at full term. After a disasterous start with BFing, she thrived when I switched to formula and slowly climbed her way up the the 25th percentile or so for a few months. The last several months have been a turn, however, and she has been sliding back down. Today was her 12 month appointment, and she officially is off the charts at only 17 lbs 2 oz.
The confusing thing, though, is that she shows no signs of issues anywhere else. She is very healthy (only has had two mild colds ever) and is meeting all her milestones early. Also, her height is perfectly on track, staying beautifully along that 50th percentile curve. All she does is get skinnier and skinner as she continues to seemingly flourish otherwise. Lately, I've noticed that you can clearly see her ribcage, which is an odd look for a baby.
Anyway, we've been referred to a nutritionist to see what we can do. I just feel like a failure. It is horrible to get her to eat, and I try and try my best. When I talked to my parents a little while ago about how the appointment went, my dad jokingly said, "Just send her over to us for a little while! We'll fatten her up!" I know he didn't mean anything by it, but it breaks my heart that apparently I'm the only one who can't figure out how to feed my daughter. I couldn't BF her, and I can't feed her now either. Ugh. It's just a big blow, because it seems like this is the most basic, primal thing a mother does for her offspring, and I can't do it.
I know, I know. I'm being unreasonable. I just need to vent. I've always known she was little, but to face the fact that she has fallen off the chart right under my nose has been a big blow to me today. I've been choking back tears all evening. My doctor was reassuring, saying that we're taking care of this early so that it doesn't end up affecting her development, but the idea that her development is even at risk is enough to make me feel sick. I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but feel horrible about this when I know I'd give my life for her. Why can't I feed her?
Rosalie, Mommy to Anna (05/06) and Thomas (10/08)
First off, you are NOT a failure, I told you that already...but I can guarantee that EVERY mom in this forum has had those feelings at least once. We are the mom's...we are supposed to be the protectors and providers of our children. When something misfires in that system, we inherently blame ourselves. Over and over sometimes.
You have a GREAT, proactive doctor, which is what we all want in this case. Stick with him/her...it's the best assett you can have. I thank the Lord every day for my pediatrician and what she's done to push getting help for my girls.
I still remember the day that I realized not only could I see Molly's ribs...but her hip bones and arteries, too. It still disturbs me when I see my baby without her shirt...but I've learned to accept that it's not my fault. Give yourself time...and get the support you need. We're more than happy to answer any questions you have...just ask
Take a look around...see our stories. I'm glad you came...really *huggles*
Hi, I'm Lisa, gosh, I could have written that whole thing myself. My son, Brandon, is 19mo old. He's totally perfect in every single way, rarely gets even the sniffles, hit all his milestones on time: walks, talks etc. does everything for his age but just won't eat. We've done it all, the tests, the specialists etc and they can't find a thing wrong with him. I do want to tell you that some of the girls in our Oct 05 PR have girls that are only about 2-3lbs heavier than your daughter (at 18-19mo old) and there isn't a thing wrong with them either (no FTT or specialists etc). You are doing the best you can, I have no doubt about it. You could ask your doctor about a shake called Scanishake (you can buy it online) that makes 600 calories (when added to 8oz of whole milk). My son loves it and sometimes it's almost the only thing he'll have all day. He's been gaining a few oz each month, so it really helps. Maybe all a Tbsp of heavy cream to her milk (about 50 extra calories there).
I know it's hard no to, but try not to freak out about it. My son eats better when he's hanging with my mom for some reason. He also loves dipping food in stuff like ketchup. We have our days lately where he's chewing food and spitting it out, it's VERY hard sometimes. HUGS. Please check in often. We're always here!!!
We have our days lately where he's chewing food and spitting it out, it's VERY hard sometimes.[/b]
OMG! Brandon is doing that, too? Molly's been doing that lately. Asks for food, then spits it out when she's eating. Of course, half of that comes from her 'shoving' compulsion, when she gets too much in her mouth...but it's so frustrating!!
Anna rejects anything that comes via spoon and starts blowing raspberries if you get too close with it. For that reason, she's on all table food. Sometimes I think that she's doing alright when she decides to spit and the last 10 bites she took come out. Apparently she stores the food in her mouth until she's sick of it.
Rosalie, Mommy to Anna (05/06) and Thomas (10/08)
Hey and welcome! I'm Courtney, and my daughter's Julia. She's FTT because of a medical condition, but I can really relate to your feelings. I remember saying something very similar to my mother (about not being able to do the basic thing correctly - feed my child!) before I knew it was nothing that I was doing. As hard as it was to get a diagnosis that something was medically wrong with Jules, it at least appeased my sense of failure, because it wasn't anything I was doing or not doing, it would have happened regardless.
Anyway! We add a pat of butter to nearly everything, it's 100 calories. Usually I'll melt it and add it into her serving of mashed potatoes, etc. We just recently started using something called DuoCal, which is a tasteless powder that you add to foods. I have no idea how many calories it adds up to, but we were about to knock out a can 1/2 of Pediasure/day for Julia since we started to use it, and a can 1/2 = 377 calories.
Just wanted to say welcome....I can relate to what your feeling, my parents always say they can fatten up my son. Like I just let him sit there and not eat =) My son is almost 17months old and 18lbs. He actually eats like a pig, but will not eat vegtables unless they are in baby food form go figure. So far we can't figure out why he isn't gaining weight. But we do lots of fried food, olive oil, duo cal (add's calories) and anything high in fat. The women in her are fantastic and I'm sure they will give you some great ideas. Hang in there and know that we mom's know that you are doing your very best =) Hugs.
Welcome. I am Renee my younger dd Paige is FTT (she has Microcephaly - small head, small brain, delayed milestones, etc). Please don't think you are a faliure. You are not!!!! You are doing everything you can for your child and that is what is important. I went through a period too where I felt like a faliure because I couldn't get Paige to gain weight. She was just over 12lbs at 1 year old. All of the sudden now she seems to have hit some sort of spurt and is putting on about a pound a month. So hopefully in time your DD will pick up and start gaining as well. I posted pics of Paige awhile back with no shirt on and you can see her ribs as well. She is tall and skinny!