[DoulaMama]

Hi, I'm Cheryl. I've had 3 losses now. I'm really intuitive, and I feel like I know what they were, and I'll always know in my heart

9w4d- December 13th '06 Twins, Benjamin Parker and Melody Rose
4w4d- February 29th '08 A baby girl- "bunda"
4w5d- April 3rd '08 A sweet little boy- my miracle

I am getting married in 5 days, and this just could not be worse timing. Not that there is ever a good time. But I feel so depressed now, and I'm of course so happy that Rob and I are getting married, but it's hard to have this so fresh, and it's really likely I'll still be m/c on our wedding day.

I'll be insured as soon as we're married, so sometime around the middle of this month I'll be seeing a doctor, and hopefully he'll be able to help me figure out why this keeps happening, and how to fix it.

I feel like My world is falling out from under me. I hate going through this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I just want to be able to keep my babies with me, I want to feel them grow and kick and laugh. I want to birth them joyfully, and hold them so tight. I want to teach, and play and comfort.

Hopefully someday it'll happen for me.

I go back and forth on if I want to keep trying this month or not... I don't know. I feel like what if this is it, this is the baby that will survive..... but I also feel like what if it happens again, and 3 cycles in a row I loose a baby. I don't know if I could handle another loss. I go back and forth every few minutes it seems. It's hard to think of another baby, I love this one so much, and it's not even completely gone.

So, Hi. I'm sorry to be here, but I'm glad for an outlet and a place for support.

[tparum]

Hi and first off im so sry for ur losses

and welcome to the board these ladies are great

[steph&dam]

Cheryl, I am sorry to hear about your loss and at a time so close to what should be a celebration. Welcome to TTCAL, I hope your heart heals quickly, and that your stay is short but sweet.

[Eleysia]

Cheryl,

I'm so sorry to hear this. I read your post in the NOV DDC as well. I hate that we keep getting new members because of the reasons behind it. I am however glad that you found us, and even if you do decide not to TTC this month, you wont be the only one. There are VERY helpful, caring and wonderful women in this board. We all have expierenced a loss to some degree. Some of us have had multiple losses as well. I hope that what ever you decide that you do stay for a bit and that we are able to help you hun. If you need anything please don't be afraid to ask. Welcome and again im very sorry for your loss.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so sorry for your losses. We all understand what you are going through. I hope to get to know you better and hopefully we can help you heal some. Take care of yourself and if you need anything just ask. I hope when you go to the dr you can get some answers. KUP

[kellyanne]

Cheryl,

I just joined yesterday too and have had early miscarriages the last two months on almost exactly the same timeline as you. I feel the same as you about trying again....I really don't want to wait a month or 3 months....but I know a third loss in a row would crush me. I'm so sorry that this happened before your wedding day. I really hope that you can enjoy your day and maybe it will give you a fresh start. I go to the doc on Monday so I'll know what his advice is for me at that time.

Kelly

[HippyMomOf4]

Hey girl! I'm so sorry for all your losses I've also had 3 losses. The girls here are great you'll love it here

[Melanie0507]

Hi Cheryl,

I am so, so sorry for your losses. I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through.

That being said, I am glad you found your way over here. I think you will find this to be a great group of fun, supportive women.

I look forward to getting to know you!

[*Bobbie*]

Hi Cheryl!

I am sorry for your losses.

I hope you feel at home here. Feel free to jump right in

[~*Sam*~]

Hi Cheryl- Welcome to the board. I am sorry that you have to be here, but this is a good place to be following such a bad experience. I hope you can find some peace at this time, especially being that you are going to be entering into such a beautiful time in your life, marriage. Good Luck dear and please know that we are here for you anytime. Take care, congrats on your wedding, and KUP.

[akafrogs]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just had a loss this last month at 4w2d, but I knew it was going to happen because I saw my BFP fade and become a BFN.

I'm so glad that you will be insured soon. It very well could be low progesterone causeing your losses, which is easy to fix. A few of the girls in my playroom have had to use it to keep their pregnancies. But whatever the cause, I hope the doctors can identify it quickly so you won't have to experance any more losses.

[katiegirl]

Cheryl, I am sorry for all your losses. I understand about not being sure if you want to TTC this month.
It took me a full month before I was ready to even consider TTC again.

On another note, welcome to the board!
The ladies here are loving, caring and a bit crazy at times.

[*becky*]

I'm glad you found your way over here hon! The ladies here are great...feel free to vent, ask questions, whatever - we're here for you.

Like I said in my TTC post, try to focus on your wonderful wedding and then your dr. appt. Take it one step at a time.

[DoulaMama]

so... I sorta took a mostly lurking break for a few days... I'm feeling a lot better..... We decided we are going to try this month. It could be the month when I finally get a sticky bean, and I don't want to miss out on that chance.

I'm still so scared of another loss, but I'm trying to be happy and think positive... I can't believe I'm getting married in 2 days!!!!

[Eleysia]

Cheryl Im excited for you. I truly do hope that this is your month!!! If there is any questions we can help you out with please dont hesitate to ask. We can't wait to see your wedding pictures CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

[Danica]

Hi Cheryl,

I'm real sorry to hear that you lost your little one and especially so close to your wedding day. I actually found out about my last loss on our 9 year anniversary

I hope that your next baby is a sticky, healthy one and you get a quick BFP! I look forward to getting to know you better.



ps: I want to see wedding shots when you are back from your honeymoon!!!

[Wee3monkeys]

Hi Cheryl! I'm so sorry for your losses, and that you're having to join all of us here. I had my most recent loss right around yours in February (it was #4, for me). I'm a recent edition here at JM and the TTCAL boards, but the ladies here are so supportive and wonderful.

I hope you have a wonderful wedding this week (counting down, two days left)! Also that your stay here at the TTCAL board is short and you get a sticky bean soon!