[Mellza]

*remembering when I first joined just mommies while ttc almost two years ago... ahhh memories*
Hey all... My story is pretty long so to keep it short... I lost my first baby in February when he was 7 months old.
(logansworld.blog.com to see pictures and a brief history)
The frustrating thing is we're fertile and had no complications during pregnancy. When he was born there were a few moments of bliss were we thought he was perfect... but it didn't take long for us (or the medical staff) to realize he was very sick. Very sick indeed. We're left in the dark on ttc again because no one can tell us if it can happen again and if it can what the odds are. All we've been told by our geneticist is that it "looks that something that can happen again... " and the general genetic rule of thumb is when in doubt the odds are 1 in 4.
With that said DH and I are tossing around ideas for what we're going to do for our future. Most likely we'll ttc again naturally and wait and see... with Logan we took things really far with him because for a long time we thought he had cerebral palsy. In turned out that he had a nurodegenerative disease but not like anything that has ever been described ever... I know that if we had another baby and things turned out bad that we would not take things far like we did with Logan. For us after seeing what Logan had to endure we understand that if our baby is born sick that we do not want to intervene with invasive medical procedure's.

We're not ready to ttc... well... I'm not... Dh probably would go for it... but my mind is starting to get geared up for what it would mean to ttc and carry another baby with the unknown riding on my back.

A loss is a loss is a loss (in my book) and I feel for all mothers, miscarried, stillbirth or neonatal death that we all ache for our lost children. May I offer my deepest compassion to those who ache.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry you and your dh had to go through that. I'm deeply sorry that You lost Logan. He was a beautiful baby. That is heartwrenching. I imagine it's hard not knowing if it could happen again. Just know that we are behind you whatever decision you make. I hope you'll just stick around and get to know us. We would enjoy getting to know you, whether you ttc now or not. I'm sorry the dr can't give you any definite answers as to if it would happen again. You are a very strong woman to have gone through that. I hope one day you will be blessed with a very healthy baby to keep.

[MrsPoe]

I am so sorry for the loss of your Logan and I am so sorry that there is no guarantee's that this will never happen again. I lost my daughter almost a year ago and had some of the same concerns as you do. I just couldn't live with myself not trying again. It is really a very hard decision for you and dh and I hope that you will have peace with your decsion whenever you are ready. You are more than welcome to visit here as long as you would like. These girls have really helped me get through the past year and just recently I got my bfp. They were also very supportive in that time that I had to wait to ttc. Logan is a beautiful little boy. I am so sorry that you had to go through so much.

[Eleysia]

Melly,

I'm so sorry you and DH had this happen. I don't know what to say other than it is a very bittersweet story knowing you had someone as beautiful as Logan with you, and now you have to wait to see him again. Please know that we feel for you, and I want to extend my deepest sympathy for you and your family. There are a few women on here that are still waiting to TTC, please feel free to jump right in, and make yourself at home. These women are amazing. Welcome to the family hunny.

[..Jessica..]

Hello Melly,

I'm so deeply sorry to hear you lost your son, Logan. I know our pain is quite different, but my heart goes out to you. I wish you and your DH nothing but the best when you decide to TTC.

[HangingInThere]

Your story brings tears to my eyes. I couldn't even imagine. Though you are right that as you said, a loss is a loss no matter what. Whether you held the baby in your arms, carried them to term, they were still born 10 weeks early, or miscarried in the first trimester, it is still a loss and no one can take away the pain of loosing a child. We are here for you whatever decision you make. It's just nice to have someone to talk to who understands.

[Brittanie]

I remember hearing about it when Logan passed, and just crying for you. And right now, I'm crying again. I'm so sorry that Logan had to leave you.


And I'm not TTC right now, but the girls make me feel just as welcome, so feel free to just come and enjoy. It's such a heartwarming group and I love them all dearly.


Like Eleysia said, welcome to the family.

[~*Sam*~]

Hello Melly, I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you've been through. My heart just aches. I'm glad that you have come here, this is a fantastic board and everyone here is so supportive of one another. There are girls here that are actively TTC, ones that are PG and ones that are WTTC. I am so glad that you could join us. I look forward to talking with you more.

[Danica]

Hi Melly, I also remember reading Logan's story. I am was and still am so sad to hear about his passing. This group is so supportive. I think that you'll find a nice "home" here at TTCAL whether you are waiting to TTC, TTC, or pregnant. I look forward to getting to know you better. big HUGS.

--Danica