What a week

Danica · #1 April 13th, 2008, 09:14 PM

Well, I mentioned earlier this week that my friend found out she was having a m/c. She was about 10 weeks. It all happened so fast. One day she started bleeding and the next she had the baby. It was such a tramatic experience for her because she had terrible contractions and was in so much pain. She said she felt like she was in transition labor and this is coming from a girl that has already had 2 children naturally. I am so very sad for her but I also feel almost healed a little by her baby. That sounds weird but it is because she actually allowed me to come down and hold her little boy. She had him in a clear bag with a blue ribbon and a medal tied to it. I think it was a medal of a Catholic saint. I was able to hold her little boy in the palm of my hand. He was perfect. He was still in his sac but I could see him, his head, body, and little legs... I don't know how to explain what that meant to me but with my m/c's I was never able to hold my babies. I had 2 blighted ovums and 1 chemical pregnancy so although I was able to pass the "baby" naturally it was really just a large sac, no baby. It showed me that there really was a baby with my m/c's and I was able to say goodbye in a sense to my little ones. It gave me some much needed closure and I feel so blessed that she was able to share her little boy with me. He actually was buried at the cemetary with her grandfather. It was perfect. Her grandfather and grandmother have a family plot and a big headstone that is sort of divided into 3 pieces. One with her grandma's name, one with her grandpa's name and in the midde of the two there is one headstone with a cross and their last name. So her little guy actually has a headstone with his last name on it. She gave him a wonderful name, she named him Innocent.

..Jessica.. · #2 April 13th, 2008, 09:37 PM

I'm so sorry to hear your friend lost her baby!!!!

I'm glad you are there for her! That's the most wonderful thing anyone can do, be there for someone during their time of need.

What a beautiful way to remember her son, allowing him to be right next to his great-grandparents!

Beautiful name!!

tparum · #3 April 13th, 2008, 09:43 PM

so ssry to heare of the loss her and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.

so glad shes got u as a friend to be there for her.

and glad for the healling for you.

victorialv · #4 April 14th, 2008, 12:12 AM

Danica, I am so sorry your friend went through such a terrible experience. Poor thing, it sounds like it was quite a painful ordeal. However, it is nice that you found closure and were able to be there for your friend.

keekopeeko · #5 April 14th, 2008, 05:43 AM

im all choked up....

its a mixure of emotions huh....

~Em

Danica · #6 April 14th, 2008, 06:10 AM

Thanks ladies.

Em, you're exactly right. It's a mixture of emotions. That is why I had to tell you all. I feel so completely sad for her. I mean, we found out we were pregnant the same day and I lost my baby very early on so I was also looking at her pregnancy as a way of seeing what it would have been like to carry Keene to full term. I just feel very blessed by the experience of holding her little boy. I don't know how to explain it but I still get choked up thinking back to how perfect he was, just sleeping in the palm of my hand.

mom 2 haley & tyler · #7 April 14th, 2008, 07:11 AM

I'm speechless. You brought tears to my eyes! I'm so sorry for you friend. I'm glad you got to hold the baby and make peace for yourself over your lost lil ones. You are truly a special friend, Danica! I hope you will be able to help her heal.

jademyst13 · #8 April 14th, 2008, 07:32 AM

I am so sorry to hear of her loss

I'm glad she has such a great friend to turn to and that she has helped in your healing as well. She has chosen a great name and I am glad that she will have a place to goto to mourn. Sometimes just having a place helps.

heatherrose415 · #9 April 14th, 2008, 08:24 AM

Danica I can only imagine how that felt, and I think I would have felt the same way. I know after my miscarriage I had such a huge longing to hold my baby, to see my baby, and I regretted getting a D&C.

I am so glad you were able to be there for her, and that she was able to see and hold her baby, and give him a proper burial!!

You two are so lucky to have eachother as friends!!

valentinemommy · #10 April 14th, 2008, 09:14 AM

That is such a sad, yet beautiful story Danica. It is so cool that you have a friendship that is that strong and that you were able to take away something good from a bad situation. I hope that your friend heals well physically and emotionally.

Eleysia · #11 April 14th, 2008, 09:21 AM

Wow Danica, Im sorry that you and her went through that, but Im glad that hopefully you both got closure. She couldnt have picked a better name. What an amazing friendship you have, dont let her go, Im sure you will be there for her as she is healing. Thank you for sharing, and I wish her the best of luck, and she will be in my t&p.

Danielley08 · #12 April 14th, 2008, 09:29 AM

Danica that is the absolutely most beautiful thing I've read...and the true definition of a best friend...I am so glad that you were able to use her situation as a closure for yours...and she is so very lucky to have you as a friend...

I am so sorry for your loss and hers...

I will keep you in my T&P with this current pregnancy and can't wait to follow your journey