Oh Rhonda
Believe me, I feel you, and I am so very sorry - I just got wind of this. I debated replying actually because things like this make all my feelings from my losing Gracie come rushing back so fast and it's hard for me still, but God help me, I couldn't help it.... please don't lose hope. What got me through was me telling myself over and over and over, I am not kidding - every second, saying "it's not over TIL ITS OVER" and I never, ever, lost hope for my baby til I birthed her in my home. My doc pushed and pushed for a d and c, but James and I made the decision together after my suspected ectopic (it wasn't ectopic btw), because we felt it was a very personal decision and one we should make and no one else should make for us. I'm so SO glad we did. We decided that we would let the Lord lead us, and let it happen naturally. Of course my situation was unique, and without going into details let's just say that I knew the outcome before it even happened, so we were prepared. And I am so glad we stuck by our decision. I birthed Gracie quietly in DF's arms in the comfort of our home, and we did have a funeral for her, the works. For such a tragic time, we "did it our way". And yes the doctor laughed at us when we told him we wanted to try Crinone as a last resort, but we didn't care...we just knew that if it did turn out that way, we would have the comfort in knowing we did all we could to save her. And we hoped for her, and loved her, until the very end. We never gave up until she came. You are welcome to read my story - it was the month of April through June that was my journey, I posted here a lot, in 2007, and I believe my loss I posted about here in mid to late June 2007. I think the title was "I can't believe I'm posting this" or something like that. Honey please don't give up. The last thing you need is stress. God is a God of the impossible (not trying to offend anybody here), and don't give up til it's over. Anything can happen, and the girls are so SO very right - it might just be too early for the heartbeat, and also every woman's hcg is different....not everybody is text book doubling right. I am praying for you so hard, and I will continue to pray for you. If there is anything, ANYTHING, I can do for you, please don't hesitate to pm me. I will be here for you in whatever way I can be. And I hope I've helped somehow here.
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