[Pound]

do you guys feel this too? i find myself thinking about babies NONSTOP. not just babies, my MY baby. like i'll think about names, clothes, how i'm going to rearrange the room, etc. and then i get sad that none of that is going to happen. (well, unless i get pg again). i can't seem to stop thinking about it. this from the person who was POSITIVE she didn't want any more kids for the last 5 yrs!

i also can't wait to get pg again, i feel like if i was, i wouldn't be sad about the m/c and i can stop obsessing about what could've been.

ugh, i've just been thinking about it a lot. i haven't actually talked about my m/c to anyone (besides online) not really even the hubby. i want to avoid it, cuz it makes me sad and cry. pretty much the only person who makes me happy right now is my son. the hubby is at work 24/7. and i don't want to see my friends.

why am i suddenly so depressed again.

[Eleysia]

Linda honey it is totally normal. I went through it too. I didnt want to talk to DH, or even be around my son. It was really tough on me. Im still VERY obsessed with babies (mine also). We are planning on buying a home in Sept, and all I can think about is reassembling the crib, and buying a home with 4 bedrooms so we have a guest bedroom and one for each kid. I think about the color scheme for a boy or girl, and ive even asked DH what he thinks about certian baby names. I think im going nuts too. I can only assume it is normal, and that everyone copes differently. I even sit and think about how soon ill be in maternity clothes. I think it hit you again because you still havnt had AF yet. thats about when it hit me. all the BFP's around us in the room, and just wanting something to happen.. be it a bfp or af. I had a really bad day (or 4) and it got a little bit better. I really do hope AF shows for you this weekend so you get some sort of closure, and then can start TTC again. If you need anything honey you know where i am.

[Pound]

that's me too! i look at maternity clothes in the windows of the stores and think about what would *i* wear??
yes, it's getting around that time af should come, and i think i just want it to be over with so i can actively start ttc again, instead of just sitting around thinking about poor me. at least when you're ttc, you have hope. this last month has just been... nothing. no baby, not even a hope of one cuz we weren't ttc yet.

it's like i don't really feel bad talking about it here, cuz everyone here has gone through the same thing. but irl, the LAST thing i want to do is talk about it. so glad there is a place for us. even when i see people getting bfp, it doesn't make me sad, it actually gives me more hope that i will get one too after a m/c.

[jennntj13]

Big hugs.. I was there, too... It is not easy... we're here if you need us.

[NeeshBoogie]

I can relate. Before I got pg the first time, I was constantly looking at baby clothes and stuff online at home and at work. I even decided I wanted to use gDiapers, and I got my b/f to agree simply by drawing his attention to the cute little "g" on the back of them. Anyway, I was obsessed with little things and soft fabrics, then when I found out I was pg, I made my b/f take me to a bunch of baby stores just to look around at what shopping for my baby would be like. Fast-forward to this week...

I visited my sister and my nephew the day my doctor declared my m/c complete, and my nephew smeared tomato sauce all over one of my favorite shirts. Instead of getting upset, I went home and obsessed over everything baby and have been doing so ever since. I'm like some kind of zombie. I want nothing more than to be actively trying again and looking at baby stuff online thinking about how it will fit into my baby's life.

I was terribly sad in the beginning, but now I'm revitalized and I feel a surge of hope. I don't really know where it's coming from, but I plan to take advantage of the good vibes and try to channel them into a BFP.

[Augie]

Hi sweetie. I completely understand where you are. I can (and do) talk about the m/cs IRL but not about how I feel, if that makes sense. It is so much easier here. For the first two months after the miscarriage I couldn't so much as look at a baby without crying. It was hard because I work at Sears and I'm bound to see babies. I finally opened up to my boss and fellow cashiers and they were wonderful. My boss made sure I was never scheduled by myself and not ever in the kids department. My coworkers often stepped up and offered to ring a customer for me if they noticed a baby. They even let me run to the back to cry if needed. While it was an incredibly sad time it was nice to have their support. I found sometimes, opening up a little does help.

But I got sidetracked, I'm sorry, didn't mean to ramble on you. lol I hope all works out for you and you get your baby soon.

[victorialv]

I agree, it is absolutely normal to feel that way, and you have every right to feel the way you want to after a mc. AF will be here soon enough, and then you can say you are actively TTC. I think waiting for AF is very nerve wracking. I hope she gets here very soon for you!

[~*Sam*~]

Everything you are saying makes complete sense to me. I am always obsessing over babies and what could have been with my little Saul. I just wanted to tell you that it's completely normal and not a "strange obsession". That baby was your child and you are doing what is natural for a mother to do. I hope to see a BFP from you real soon. Take Care and sending lots of HUGS your way.