[ShannonMVT]

Dh and I went to go see his aunt and uncle today to work out some business stuff. Well his aunt ended up showing us pictures of Dh's cousin's new baby. She was born in March, just a month before Thomas was due. It hurt so bad to have to see those newborn baby pics and how happy their family was and to know how much I want that.

I want this to be my month so much but I am so afraid it's not. I'm afraid of getting tests run next month. I'm afraid of going on Femara. I'm afraid of doing all that and giving it my everything and still having it not be enough. I'm afraid that even if I do finally get pregnant, that I'll lose that baby too.

I'm afraid I'm never going to have a baby in my arms.

I just never thought it would take this long to get pregnant again and I feel so broken.

[readyat39]

I know it's easier said than done, but don't let fear rule your life. Don't think of the what if's...you have to stay in the now. Cross a bridge only when you come to it.


We have been trying since August 2007. Nothing is wrong physically except my age. I have 2 months to conceive before my chances of becoming pg get pretty slim.

My insurance covers 3 IUI's, so I have exactly 3 chances left to get pg. There is no plan C. DH and I don't play "what if..."

We will cross that bridge only if we have to.

I know it's hard, but don't let the fear consume you.

[Danica]

I am sorry you are having such a touch day Shannon. I wish I could go down there and give you a big hug. I really hope that you don't have to wait much longer for your miracle baby. I wish I could say the fear goes away but it doesn't. You just hope and pray for the best. *sigh* big HUGS

[heatherrose415]

((HUGE HUGS))

[ChattyAshley]

Sorry Shannon. Hope you get feeling better soon.

[keekopeeko]

aww sweetie, you're making me cry... I want it SO badly for you too!

Take a deep breath and take it all one day at a time! You can do it! i think no matter what it takes you're gonna make it to that BFP, and then too the 2 trimester... and then to your delivery day and all that wonderful pain... You are strong! youve come this far! Chin up!

~Em

[Brittanie]

I'm sorry honey. It must be so hard to have to struggle like that. I don't really understand that part, but the fear I do.


And that's something that I think, unfortunately, will always be with us.

[ShannonMVT]

Thanks ladies. I just wish my Dh would tell me that it's going to be okay and we will have a baby someday. Instead I end up feeling like he may not even go for the Femara and not anything after that. So I'm scared about what if trying on our own doesn't work?

Instead it seems like he is more "it will happen when/if it's meant to happen" and I just can't stand the thought of it not being meant to be.

I wish he was on the same page as me. It's like it doesn't even bother him at all that we should already have a baby by now. Whereas it just kills me because I want it so much.

I'm just so emotional lately and crying about everything and I hate it.

[jademyst13]

I'm sorry hun

[*Bobbie*]

Shannon,

I still really feel like this is going to be your month. Your chart is looking GREAT too.

It WILL happen for you, you will one day be able to hold a baby of your own.

If you like to read and want a good book, try A Few Good Eggs.

http://www.amazon.com/Few-Good-Eggs-Overco...y/dp/0060776811

I promise this book will give you TONS of hope and make you laugh your behind off

Now roll in this

and....

when are you testing???

[cam & sami's mom]

I'm sorry you're struggling right now. I have many of those same fears myself, so some days are better than others. Hopefully we'll all get our bfps really soon.

[Eleysia]

So, totally hypothetical situation... what if... all these emotions are your pg hormones surging and you will get your bfp soon? WHEN R U TESTING?!?!?!?

[ShannonMVT]

I think I'm testing Thurs or Fri...I'll be 11-12 dpo.

Temp went down today. But yesterday I was feeling little twingy feelings in my abdomen but I figured it could just be IPS.

[Frozendesire]

The big picture is scary isn't it? I'm sorry, really I am. I am having similar feelings myself. Hopefully you get that sticky BFP soon so you don't have to worry any further. Just take one day at a time.