[Eleysia]

So ok ladies if you take the time to read this i truly do appreciate it since it is long.

Back in Sept. i got stationed in California. We came from Maryland, and brought a friend with us who wanted to be a roomate. My sister also said she wanted to live with us. So we got a 4 bedroom house, and set everything up in my and dh's names, and we payed the security deposit.

Well 3 month into it, my sis still had not moved in yet, so we were covering her portion of rent, and our roomate couldnt hold down a job. He eventually got my husband fired, then 2 days after that left and moved to new orleanes. We never saw him or the money he owed us again.

Dec my lil sis moved in knowing she had to pay 400$ per month, and 1/3 of the utilities. well she was jobless until feb so again i ate all the bills, and eve bought her groceries

here is why im torn. she still owes us over 1k$ and 2 days before my m/c she moved out and went to live with her boyfirend (who lives with his mommy). She left all of her stuff at my house, and told me that she was still gonna pay rent, and that she only left cuz the job market was better over there. well it is now almost may and i have yet to see a dime, or her.

She and I were very close. we have each others names tattooed on us, and the whole nine yards. I just feel like crying my eyes out. She is coming to get her stuff tonight and is moving back to Idaho. Im mad at her, and I really do feel like this is the end of our amazing friendship. I dont know what to do.

I guess im mostly mad that we got taken advantage of and we were supposed to be buying a home this summer, but now have no money saved up because of our roomate and my sis....why does stuff like this happen when youre just trying to help someone else out?!

[Pitridge]

I'm sorry...It's a very sticky situation you are in. It's unfortunate that some people feel the need to take advange of people. The worse part is that more you try to help people the more advangate they will tak eof you (of course this is not true of everybody).
My husband's family does it to us all the time. Just like you we live in sunny CA and they think of us as rich people, they come to us for everything, to pay for their stuff. We always try to help his family out and we always get screw (sorry for using this word), it's a horrible feeling to try to help someone out and then something like this happens.
Being your sister is a bit harder, you have to be strong and get her to understand that situation that you guys are in and that you are in that situation in part because of the money that she still owes you.

[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

I am so sorry that you guys were put in that kind of situation. I agree with Pat. I would say that next time someone wants to move in with you guys, you have something in writing stating what the rent and utilities will be each month and have it noterized (sp) that way if you guys get in a situation like this again you have proff that they owe you money and you can take them to court to get your money. It sucks that you guys would maybe have to do that but you guys have to look out for your well being also and it sucks that you try and help people out and this happens. you. Hope things turn around for you soon.

[jennntj13]

That is tough. I would talk to her and tell her that you are hurt and feel taken advantage of. I'm sure if the two of you were as close as you described, she would listen and maybe find some sort of compromise/solution that would help remedy it.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so sorry Eleysia. I hope things get better soon. That's a hard situation!

[Eleysia]

Thanks ladies for the advice. It does suck to feel screwed by people you trust. I dont know if i can talk to her about it. she hates confrentation, and avoids it at all costs. Even if that means not talking to me what so ever . Im sure evertually itll work out. Im just sad to see her go, and Im being way too emotional about this situation.

Doesnt help im visitng the may DDC and crying my eyes out for all the women who have had their babies. Man I wish that was me, and you guys!! Soon enough it will be tho.

[Lv2Mommy]

Being in your situation absolutely stinks! DH & I tried to help my sister out quite awhile back when she was trying to get back on her feet after some bad decisions, etc... We let her rent a house we had, set up some ground rules and she basically trashed the place and did all the things we asked her not too. It awful when it's a family member b/c it truly does alter your relationship. DH & I now have a steadfast rule - if we're going to help someone or get into a rental, etc situation, we either consider it a gift (that way if it doesn't come back we're not surprised) or have some type of written agreement.

I hope you guys can work things out! :dothugs:

[Pitridge]

If she does like Confrontation you might want to try sending her an email. If she hates confrontation, this way you get to talk to her, and she might respond without having that confrontation issue-I would hate to see you guys hurt, not being bale to buy a house-.

[..Jessica..]

I can understand you not wanting to confront her because she doesn't like it, but in the end, she owes you over $1000! That is NOT cool!!! You allowed her to live with you and she didn't help out. I don't know how you're able to keep this all to yourself and not reem her out. Granted she IS your blood, but at the end of the day, she shouldn't have taken advantage of you and Chad!

JMO!

[Melanie0507]

That just sucks Eleysia I hope it all works out in the end for you guys...

[Pound]

whatever happened already happened, you can't change that. but she is your sister, and if you guys are truly close, then i think you should talk to her about it. in the end, you won't stop being sisters over $1000, but maybe if you bring it up she'll try to pay you back. it sucks that she did this to you in the first place, but now all you can do is confront her. if you dont, you will resent this for a long time.

[Eleysia]

Well, she came and got some of her stuff last night which is a start. I didnt bring up the money issue, because in my heart i know ill never see it again. she does the same thing to my parents. im ok with it. it sucks but ill live. She will be back thursday to get the rest of her things. I was sad but then i just figured that we are sisters above all, and i know that later down the road when she gets her life together ill always be here waiting for her. Until then i think i need some space from her for a bit.

Thanks ladies I appreciate you letting me vent, and also the wonderful advice from all of you.