[txallisonjoy]

Hello,

I've been surfing these boards for a while and only now have the strength to post. I had a miscarriage while on a business trip in January at 10 weeks. I started to bleed and went to the emergency room. The nurses all tried to calm me and tell me it was just spotting. The initial physical exam was ok (they didn't have an OB table so they propped me up on a bedpan) and they were going to do an ultrasound to make sure the heartbeat was there. There was no heartbeat. The technician kept asking me if I was sure I was 10 weeks and then stopped talking to me. An OBgyn came in an hour later and said I had had a missed abortion. When I started to cry she said "oh, was this a wanted pregnancy"? She then told me I should just wait for the miscarriage to start naturally and to flush the tissue (she started to say baby and then caught herself) when it came out. She mercifully left shortly after. I called my husband with the sad news and immediately texted anyone I had told about the pregnancy - which wasn't many people. My husband flew to NYC to get me the next day. When we got home to TX my doctor's office confirmed what the ER found in NYC and I had a d&C two days later.

As if to add insult to injury, 3 of my close friends are now pregnant. 2 are due on AUg 12 my due date. The third is due at the end of August. I feel like a rotten person because I can't be as happy for them as I should be. I thought my heart was already completely broken, but eat breaks again each month when I get my period. We've been trying for 2 months with no success and now it just feels hopeless.

Thank you for reading this.
Allison

[acolledge2]

Allison,
Let me start by telling you how sorry I am to hear about your loss. I miscarried on Jan 4th 11 week old twins so I know the anxiety you are feeling. My babies were wanted as well and it has been a struggle not getting pregnant again over the last 4 months. God knows I feel like I have spent more time with my legs in the air than on the ground- LOL
Keep your chin up and do not feel any guilt about your sadness with 3 friends pregnant, it is definitely normal. We are all here for you and we have walked in your shoes so please talk to us.
Welcome to the Just Mommies Family!!!
Allyson "Ally"

[jennntj13]

I am very sorry for your loss... welcome and feel free to ask anything.. these ladies are wonderful!

[Eleysia]

Allison,

Im so sorry about your loss. Im glad you found this forum though. These women make a great shoulder to lean on when you need it. We have all expierenced a loss to some degree, and I hope that we can help you through your tough time.

My loss was at 5w 5d, and it hurt bad. If you need anything please dont hesitate to ask, we are all here for each other. This is a fun loving group, and please dont feel hopless. It takes time, and we are here to occupy that time for you

[KDD]

Hi Allison,

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks too and just recently had a friend announce her pregnancy (with a due date near mine). I know what you mean when you say that it's hard to be happy for them. I'm happy for them on one level, but on another level I'm just upset about what I have lost.

This is a wonderful group full of understanding and kind words. You will find a lot of support here.

[*Melissa*]

oh hun, I am ao sorry, and can COMPLETLEY relate to your situation. When I found out I was pg, a couple weeks later, 4 of my closest girlfriends also found out they were pg. We were so excited to be pg within weeks of eachother!!
By the time I got to my 11 week appointment, i was getting ready to hear the heart beat, but they weren't able to pick it up on the doppler... I was terrified. We went to the ER to confirm what they had found, and sure enough, my little one had stopped growing at 8 weeks
It was devastating. I thought for sure everything was fine with my pregnancy since there was never any cramping or bleeding. never ONCE did I have ONE sign of a miscarraige. It almost made it worst because i was completley blindsided. They also called that a "missed abortion, or missed miscarraige"
Then the added bonus of now sitting back and watching all my friends move on with their pregnancies, seeing where I would be, and now watching them prepare to HAVE their babies... it's the worst suffering I have ever endured.
I am so sorry, i would never wish this on anyone. I pray that you are able to have another child soon.
I hope you are able to find comfort with all these wonderful women during this difficult trial

<>< Melissa

[Melanie0507]

Hi Allison and

I also had a *missed miscarriage* that I found out about 3 days before Thanksgiving and then I had a D&C the next day. I was 9 weeks along and I totally understand the hurt, pain, and frustration. I know the pain of AF showing each month and wondering why not this month, in fact I am right there today

I am glad you found this board. This is a great group of women who are very supportive and just plain wonderful!

I look forward to getting to know you! Please stay with us and post away!

[babybluegirl]

Hi Allison im sorry for your loss i had a similar expierenc i started to spot brown and it was a lot so at the er they checked and there was no heart beat or and they baby had stopped growing it was really hard then had a dc 2 days later it was horrible i havent gotten pregnant yet but im charting and doing opk test so im superhopeful im hopping you get your BFP

[kellyanne]

Allison,

I haven't had a missed m/c, both of mine were early "chemical pregnancies", but my heart breaks to imagine what it must have been like finding out while all alone in NYC. Also, I'd like to slap the OBGYN that asked "oh, was this a planned pg". I'm glad that you found your way to this board. It seems like the grief lingers (especially through unsuccessful attempts to conceive again and friends who are pg) and the people who are supportive in your life don't understand how much it still hurts. The women here definitely understand. Welcome and I hope you get a BFP soon!

[ShannonMVT]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please feel free to post away with any questions or just to get your feelings out.
Don't lose hope yet, I know it's hard but someday you will have a baby in your arms.

[txallisonjoy]

Thank you all so much for your responses. It's the first time I've really felt like people understood. My poor husband (he's in grad school and working full time) has been trying to hard to keep me positive. It's so hard to explain that some days I just need to cry.

You're all so strong and resilient. I hope I can follow your example.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I am glad you found us. I hope we can be of some support to you! Let us know if you need anything!