Spent part of Mother's Day talking to pg SIL...

ShannonMVT · #1 May 12th, 2008, 08:30 AM

That was an interesting twist. It was a rough day at first but got better after I talked to Dh and had a nice cry. Then he was out buying things to make dinner (plus he bought cake and flowers for me) and my pg SIL called.

I have had bitterness issues with her (which Dh and I have fought about) because she got pg by accident, isn't sure what she is going to do and here we are still trying. I have even had a dream where she was asking how we could stay friends and I told her "we can't".

I really did not want to talk to her at first. But she told me everyone else in the family just starts spewing advice and don't listen to her and that Dh and I are the only people who EVER talk to her like a real person. So we talked for over an hour, I told her what I think and Dh thinks (which are different) and told her I thought she really needed to speak with a Christian counselor so that she can have advice from someone who is neutral to the situation, because everyone in the family is biased.

So anyway I was really proud of myself for being supportive of her. I told my mom about it and she was like "You know what you did? You took on the role of a mother. You listened and you put your own needs aside to be there for her. That's what mothers do."

So in a weird, twisted way, I was like a mother to someone yesterday.

It still hurts though. I know she didn't mean it, but when she was talking about how she didn't need the added stress of her parent's crap (and she doesn't, they really are giving her a lot of crap) she said she had a big belly, her feet hurt, she was tired all the time, stressed out about what to do and she didn't need any more stress. I know if she was really thinking she wouldn't complain to me about pg symptoms and right now all she can think about really is her situation. But it still hurts me when I think about it. Gah.

And, I had a dream last night that someone at work with two kids already got pg with twin boys and I actually yelled "Dam**t! What does EVERYONE but me get pregnant?!" Hm, something tells me I don't need a dream interpretor to figure that one out.

Thanks for listening ladies.

mom 2 haley & tyler · #2 May 12th, 2008, 08:45 AM

I am very proud of you, too. You put your hurt aside to be there for her. That was wonderful Shannon. I know how hard that was for you. I so hope you get your BFP this cycle. How is the testing going so far?

ShannonMVT · #3 May 12th, 2008, 09:11 AM

Thanks Michelle. I should have my bloodwork results in today but I don't know if I'll get them b/c I'm about to jet out to work. I'll see if they call my cell phone I guess.
Dh's SA is tomorrow and results should be back on Thursday. I was thinking I might go in and see my dr just to talk to her on Friday.

When are you testing again? I hope it is a BFP next time....

Pitridge · #4 May 12th, 2008, 09:16 AM

That was very nice of you..I'm sure it was not an easy thing to do. I don't know you well but it's seem like you are a woman with a lot of strength, I can only wish to have half the strenght you have.
Let us know about the results, I hope it's good news.

mom 2 haley & tyler · #5 May 12th, 2008, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Thanks Michelle. I should have my bloodwork results in today but I don't know if I'll get them b/c I'm about to jet out to work. I'll see if they call my cell phone I guess.
Dh's SA is tomorrow and results should be back on Thursday. I was thinking I might go in and see my dr just to talk to her on Friday.

When are you testing again? I hope it is a BFP next time....[/b]

I hope everything comes back good.

I've been testing, but all BFN. I'm 11dpo today. My temp didn't drop though. Looks like the b6 is helping the lp. I had been having 10 day lp. I'll test again tomorrow, if my temp doesn't drop. I hope it's a BFP, but who knows.

BabyBird · #6 May 12th, 2008, 11:02 AM

I think that was great of you to support her like that...and I agree with your mom that you did the Motherly thing.

Melanie0507 · #7 May 12th, 2008, 05:41 PM

I am really proud of what you did Shannon! I know how hard it was for you to listen to her and give her advice, but I am sure she truly appreciated it!

You did the right thing, even though it was really, really hard!

lynie07 · #8 May 12th, 2008, 06:12 PM

Shannon you are a beautful person,l would have to agree with
your mum!! l'm proud of you girl

kellyanne · #9 May 12th, 2008, 09:06 PM

Good for you to put her needs before your own and to realize that she isn't hurting you intentionally but is just so caught up in her own situation. Someday she will realize what she put you through and realize how much you put aside your own pain to help with hers.

Sorry if I'm being nosy, but I'm curious.....is she trying to decide whether to put the baby up for adoption?

I truly believe you'll be rewarded for being such a good person....hopefully its soon!!

ShannonMVT · #10 May 12th, 2008, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Sorry if I'm being nosy, but I'm curious.....is she trying to decide whether to put the baby up for adoption?[/b]

No problem. Yes, she is. She is a Christian like me, and she strongly believes that her child should grow up in a 2 parent Christian home. And while she thinks her bf is a nice guy, she isn't totally sure that he has the same beliefs and morals as her. So she's trying to figure it all out before the baby is born in August.

I certainly don't envy her situation at all. That is not the way I'd want to be having a baby. But that just makes it even more hurtful in some ways, that she is pregnant and I'm not.

#11 May 13th, 2008, 07:31 AM

Shannon, that made me cry, especially what your mom said to you. I know how all that must have been hard and hurtful, but you are such a good role model and Christian. I hope that she took to heart how you were with her and seeks out that Christian advice.

Hugs to you hun, I'm so proud of you, you are an amazing woman.