[..Jessica..]

[b]About everything meaning, trying to have a baby, meaning to forget about Quinn, to forget about our marriage.

This is what Dwayne said to me today when I called him. All I was trying to do was have a decent coversation with him while he is at work, and I couldn't even do that.

I think he wants out. I also think he is having an affair, but have no proof of this, so I won't accuse.

I don't know what to feel, think, say or do.

I'm just empty.



******

Well ladies, we had a very serious talk today. He ended up taking the day off work so we could do just that. He told me that's he's terrified to see me go through another m/c. Granted he wasn't there when I lost Quinn, he saw the aftermath of how I was and didn't like it at all. He also said he'd like to have things set up for us before we have a baby. Explaining that he'd like to get a new car, have our own place, decent savings in the bank, as well as all debts paid off. I can completely understand where he is coming from, I just don't like how he came at me with it at first. I told him I still plan to stop my BCP in July and he looked at me and said "you know what, I want all these things and all you want is to stop taking a pill each day, consider it done" and he kissed me. We are back on the same page!! I'm so very happy!! We then spent the rest of the day sitting on the sofa watching movies! It was great!

Just wanted to update you all! Love you all ladies! Your advice, thoughts and prayers worked! /b]

[Frozendesire]

Oh wow, I'm so sorry. Are you guys going to talk tonight when he's off work?

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so sorry Jessica! How can he say that to you? I just don't understand men. I wish I could take your pain away. I'm here if you need me. Did he say to forget about your marriage? Why? You could never forget about Quinn. If he said that, that is hateful. I'm so sorry

[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

OMG Jessica I am so sorry that all this is going on at home. I hope that you guys can have a long talk and work things out but if you need ANYTHING you know were to find me. I am so sorry again. Big hugs to you jess.

[Eleysia]

omg Jess, i just want to reach through the computer and give you a hug, then knock DH's lights out. Im so sorry Jess. Who the hell does he think he is to talk to you like that? I hope you can talk to him and get to the bottom of everything hun. please know we are all here for you. if you need anything let me know.

[Pitridge]

ohhh I'm so sorry. Are you guys going to talk tonight when he gets home? I'm sorry he said that, and over the phone, that just kills me. I'm sorry you are going through all of these and we can't be there to give you hugs, here you have some

I like to be devils advocate in everything, is he maybe having problems at work? Stressed out? I'm mentioning it because my dh used to be mean to me on the phone when i call him at work. I learned years ago to only call him at work, when it's very important. I hope you guys can resolve things. I'm here for you in you need me too.

[cam & sami's mom]

OMG Jess! I wish there was something I could do or say to be helpful. Just know that we're all here for you.

[katiegirl]

Jessica I am so sorry you are going through such CRAP with DH!

I wish I could take you out and get drunk tonight

[..Jessica..]

I'm not sure if he's stressed at work, he doesn't talk to me about anything.

I think he's nervous about something, and doesn't want to be a failure like his father. My FIL is his step-dad for anyone who doesn't know the whole story.

I'm going to give him some space about everything, let it cool itself off. Hopefully by the weekend, everything will be settled!

[Wee3monkeys]

Oh, Hun, I'm sooo sorry he's being like that! Men can be such jerks sometimes! I'm going to share w/ you, because it might be helpful, K. My SO and I went through this a couple months ago too. I actually packed up our son and the dog and went and stayed w/ friends for a night. I was looking for places to move out to, checking my budget to see what I could afford, etc; then it was like he picked up that I was serious about not letting him take his frustrations out on me and things improved. We all have our moments (and in my house they seem to come in a knock-down-drag-out fight every 6-9months), but it's how we fix those bad moments that help us keep going.

I definitely agree w/ the girls that you need to sit down and talk to him. Those conversations are so awful! I'm sorry you're having to go through this! I know we don't know each other well, but if you need to talk, I'm here. It doesn't help you at the moment, but I do have experience (my SO cheated on me after ds was born in 2001, it's too long a story for now, but let's just say I can definitely commisserate).

Good luck, hun!!!

[Pitridge]

I know it's not my place to say something, but I went through the whole, he's stress but not talking to me thing. Because of the lack of communication in that department, now I make an effort to spend 5-10 min a day talking about how his day went. That I know if I should give him some space to vent out or not.

Maybe giving some space might be good, my heart is with you right now...

[*Judy*]

Oh Jess!!! I am so sorry you are going through this...I'm wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. You know I love you and hope it all works out. You definately need a good long talk, if not the hurt will keep growing. I know you 2 love each other, just sometimes we go through dark times and maybe this is that kind of time for him. I'll be thinking about the 2 of you!

[*Bobbie*]

I really think he was just in the *work mode* and frustrated. I hope he comes home and you two can talk about what is bugging him. I am sure he didn't mean what he said to you, it was probably anger talking. He loves you Jess.... who wouldn't? If he is cheating though... kick his butt to the curb!

I love ya girl and would be all for *girls night*! Heck.... if he is a jerk later we could all meet in a chat room and get our chat on

[Brittanie]

Awww, Jess, I have nothing more to add than more !!!!

[Danielley08]

Awww Jess



You know the TTC chat is tonight so if he is a punk we will be chatting away from 8-10 EST

[KDD]

for you Jessica.

For what it's worth, when my DH gets stressed, he shuts down and won't talk. I just give him space and wait for him to be ready. Good luck!

[lynie07]

Aww Jessica l'm so sorry

[Bakin8th]

I am sorry you are going thro this. I have been married to the same man now almost 20 yrs and we had our share of issues. I hope you both work this out.

[dee68]

Oh Jess...

I am so sorry to hear about this sweetie....
you know I am here for you of you need to talk !!!
we love you sweetie and hope everything works out !!!

~HUGS~

[ShannonMVT]

I am sorry sweetie. I hope you are able to talk to him and get everything straightened out. Men can be so frustrating.