[madmum_sarah]

well yesterday we had a nice family day but the news was still not good. he had a angiagram and scans yesterday but is still no better and we are waiting for the results so i bought mark a ticket to go down today. he was not willing to go but if the worst happens i know he would never forgive himself so im taking no chances, so he left this morning!
im going to be spending some time doing things with my kids today as they are a bit upset and "nana" cancelled this weekend but that means i can be about for a little while later on.
im not sure when mark is going to come back, maybe a day, maybe a week, maybe 3 weeks but i know its for the best.
last night we were just laying hugging and i told him i was scared how this would affect our relationship because he pushes people away and he replied "i know but i just dont want to be hugged all the time if it happens, that doesnt mean i dont love and want you, we have come a long way in the last few weeks and i dont want to lose you. i love you! "
i guess things really have got better. now i just have to keep my head straight while hes away and not accuse him of sleeping with someone else (yep i have been really bad for that in the past!)
thanks for all the positive thoughts girls, i have a feeling this is going to be a long month
xxx
oh i also changed my ff and MADE it give me Oday of CD14 because im sure thats when i did. if im wrong then il get af sooner but if im right i wont test early by thinking ff is!