[mom2kaisnkam]

How do you decide to try again. We had tried for a 3rd child about a yr ago and I never got pregnant. So we stopped. Then on May 25, I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant. Everything was going great, then Tuesday morning when I woke my husband up for work. I had spotting. So instead of work he took me to the hospital. They did tests on top of tests and a pelvic exam, then he sent me to my first Dr. appt which was at 9:30 that morning. They said I am having a miscarriage. My hcg level for 5wks 3 days should have been close to 1000 was only 36. The cramping is so bad at times. Much worse than child birth, at least with child birth once you have the baby it's over. With this, I think it's over and the pain stops then bam here comes the pain again. And the emotional pain is unbelievable. I can see how women can slip into a depression with the loss of a baby. I have 2 other children and am trying be thankful for them and keep on going but sometimes I just feel like sitting in a corner and crying. I guess the worst part is knowing it's happening and I can't stop it. This is one time I can't protect my own child.

I know you have all probably been through this or you would not be in this forum. But how do you do it? How do you decide to try again? When do you begin to try again? There is a part of me that never wants to go through the chance of this happening again. But then there is a part of me that got so attached to being pregnant that I want it so bad. My husband won't talk about it, he is totally crushed. But we do have alot to be thankful for we do have 2 children already.

I commend you all who are trying again! You are AWESOME!

[Pitridge]

I'm so sorry for you lost. Honestly I think you are the only one (with dh) that can tell when it's right to TTC again. In my case, I started as soon as I was in the clear, we wanted to start TTC right away. I guess I needed something to keep me from feeling the pain of my loss.

[Brittanie]

I decided I was ready to try again when I could handle the idea of having ANOTHER baby, instead of just wanting my Cora back so much. That, and when I could handle the idea of being pregnant again. I lost Cora 12 days before my due date, and I had been incredibly sick the ENTIRE time. I was MISERABLE, and I just hated the idea of being pregnant AGAIN. Once my desire for a baby was stronger than both of those other feelings, well, then I knew I was ready. The desire was worth the risk.

And my Erin will be a year old on Saturday.

[princesskate]

Im so sorry for your loss.

I am with pitbridge here, i want to ttc as soon as it is safe to do so. But everyone has their own way of dealing with their loss and when they want to ttc again. xxxx

[.x~KAT~x.]

Im so sorry....it is very hard

i have already had 2 losses so im hoping my next preg will be ok. Im only trying one more time

[Mum2three]

im really sorry for your loss.
I waited till i knew that i handle the thought of being pregnant. cause being pregnant is a VERY emotional time, and when you have losses behind you it makes it more stressful. When you are ready then approach the ttc world again. it took me a while.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I decided that I wanted another right away. I just still had that need. Everyone is different though. I just found out I'm pg again, and I'm scared to death. We will help you deal with this anyway we can.

[mom2kaisnkam]

Thank you all so much. It is hard to decide. I don't go back to the Dr. until next Thursday. It is weird how much you can miss someone you never met face to face. I wish you all the best and thank you so much for your kindness.

[Del4]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can definitely relate.

I have 3 beautiful children and never had a problem conceiving before. In February of this year, I unexpectedly got pregnant while on the mini-pill and BFing our 7 month old baby. At 5 weeks, the pregnancy was lost and I completely fell apart. It was gradual and before going through a m/c myself, I never could have imagined what it would do to me or my husband. After that loss and what it did to DH and I, we decided to wait a long while before ttc again - we always wanted a 4th child. Neither of us wanted to risk going through that kind of loss again so soon. I went back on regular BCP's, to be safe, and here I sit... unsure if I am pregnant or not. After this 'scare,' if I turn out not to be pregnant, I think I will want to try again sooner than I'd expected to after the m/c. I am not positive I want to go through my EDD without at least being pregnant. I don't know. Some people never want to try again (I thought that was where we were headed in the beginning), but some people want to try again right away. It's different for everyone and you may find yourself changing your mind on a regular basis for a little while. The grieving process is long and full of ups and downs.

I am sorry you had to experience a m/c, I will pray that you don't ever have to go through this kind of pain again.

[Pound]

i'm sorry this happened to you. everyone is different. some women are afraid to ttc again for fear of another m/c, and some just want to ttc right away. i had a m.c in march, and wanted to ttc right away. to me i think i feel like i want it badly enough that i'm willing to do it over, but some women are just different. you just have to take some time and decide what's right for you. i hope you can ttc again someday if you decide to.
oh and welcome.

[KDD]

Nette I am so sorry for your loss. My m/c was at 10 weeks. The pain, like you describe, was horrible - but the emotional pain was worse. But, having said that, once the shock wore off, I was ready to at least consider trying again. Within 2 weeks, I knew I wanted to try again. Mind you I'm still terrified!

Good luck to you. There are lots of friends here if you need us!

[Alison81]

((((HUGS))))) I'm so sorry for your loss. After my last loss, at 14 weeks, I never wanted to be pregnant again. I was done. I have one daughter, and I was convinced that would be it. Now as time goes on, I have that longing again, but it's still hard. Give yourself time, as your loss was so recent, sometimes you need to grieve before you're ready to make a decision.