[Mum2three]

Well as the date is getting closer, im kinda freaking out. Im supposed to have the c-section for July 14th at 6 am my time. Well my OB says hes going to talk to me on tuesday about moving the date up! To the end of June. Im all for that. Hes talking about June 27th, and thats my parents anniversary. well their 30th and i told my parents that, and they said no way is she being born on my day. Well i was hurt and really pi**ed off, and i told them it doesnt matter the day as long as shes healthy. Right? They are making me feel like crap! I really get annoyed when ppl only think of themselfs and not others. I will give you the shirt off my back if you needed it. Thats just me. Then after putting my 2 cents in to them, which they didnt like, my dad looks at me and says " I hope to god that this is the last baby, and your getting your tubes tied" I kinda looked at him, and i said you know you should take your own advice, as you have a daughter out in this world that you dont even know. Shes much older then me. Again he didnt like that. He told me I would be STUPID to want another child, that he doesnt think i could handle more then 3 kids. I was mad by then. I told both of them, how dare you say that, when YOUR son is in my CARE and not yours! I pay his way, etc. If anyone is a unfit father or mother its you. They walked out of my house. And havent heard anything from them. Dwayne says hes proud of me, cause im not one to really disrespect my parents. But this time it really hurt. Im 26 years old and Dwayne is 32 years old, and i think we can make your own decisions.
Now i have been debating on getting my tubes tied, but part of me doesnt. I hear so many horror stories and stuff, and i dont want that to happen. Second Dwayne has already agreed to have the BIG V done and i think thats better. Right? As long as one of us gets fixed thats all the matters. im not sure. I really dont want to tie my tubes, cause i look at the future. What if something happens to Makenna or my boys, and i really want another baby.

Grrr, im just in a toss up...I need your girls advice. What should i do? Should we both get Fixed? or just him, or just me?

Im going nuts!!!

Sorry for the book...im just so worked up about this.

[jademyst13]

I'm proud of you too! All of what they said was uncalled for and rude.

As for getting fixed, well only one of you would need to. I think his is easier and could be reversed if you wanted later.

[Augie]

Ultimately, it is your decision. However, my opinion is that you are obviously not sure about this. I don't think anyone should "get fixed" if they are unsure about whether or not they want another child later on. Also, I see no reason what-so-ever for BOTH of you to have the surgery. Since your DH has agreed to have it done, I'd say let him. It is a simpler procedure and less risky than a tubal ligation.

Again, that's my opinion. (Also, the 28th is a great day to be born. lol)

[Frozendesire]

I am so sorry to hear that there is so much turmoil over what will be such a beautiful day. Hopefully things turn out well or atleast go smoothly on that day for you.

It seems that you are really doubting that decision, so I would suggest not getting anything done. If you think you might want more kids then leave that option on the table. If you decide that you are done that I think your hubby would be the best option. I hear it's a little more simpler and more risk free, of course I don't know that for sure, just what I have heard.

I really think you should wait it out and see how you feel.

[madmum_sarah]

i spoke to my doc about "getting fixed" because of the endo and i was advised against it because the hormonal changes are too much to handle if you are not 1 million % sure! he could get fixed but again, unless you are totally sure i wouldnt advise it because although yes it can be reversed, its not always sucesful.
my ex had his reversed 3 yrs ago and they are still trying for that baby
xxxx

[Lv2Mommy]

Wow - first off, I'm sorry your parents had such a bad attitude about the whole thing... It shouldn't matter what anyone other than you & your husband think about when your precious baby is born.

Second, if you have any doubts, I wouldn't get your tubes tied right now. DHs procedure is usually just an office visit deal and much easier to schedule once you've both had time to think on it. I think making those decisions right when you're having a baby is often poor timing b/c often people don't think they'll want another at that point in time. Best of luck deciding what you guys will do!

[KDD]

Brandy.

I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. My parents would be thrilled to have a grandbaby on their anniversary - who am I kidding, they'd be thrilled to have a grandbaby any day!

As for getting fixed - you have to be 100% sure. I'm not sure that you are right now. If you are ever sure, then the Big V is a lot less invasive than a tubal ligation. My friends that have had the Big V done said it wasn't as bad as they thought.

Good luck.

[tparum]

omg brandy what a day for ya sry to hear of all that. for ya. you would thank that they would want that beautiful earth angel born on that special day what jerks sry just the truth.


i look at it this way dont do it unless u want to and if he will get the big V done let him our bodies have gone threw heck. and ive heard the bounce back easier then us.

[~DaemonMykailasMum~]

Im so sorry you hadta have that scuffle with your parents... I agree with the PP's, If you arent sure, maybe sit on it for a bit... Then if your ultimate decision IS to get one of you fixed, if he has agreed to have it, id go with that.. As for your parents not wanting the baby do be born on "Their" day! I had my DS on my Dads Birthday! and he was So excited!!! They should be excited to have their grandbaby born on their anniversary! Im so sorry xoxoxox

[Eleysia]

Brandy Im sorry anyone, let alone your parents, spoke to you like that. Youre such an amazing person, it shocks me that they dont see that, and makes me mad. But let me digress before i say something stupid.

I think that if anyone should have the surg it should be DH. His is much less invasive, less risk of infection, higher reversal rate, and he will only be down and out for like 1-2 days max, and youll be down for at least a week or so.

You know if youre really unsure i dont know how you feel about and IUD but thats an option until you guys can decide youre 100% ready to do surgery. IMO. Hope that helps at all. big

[*Bobbie*]

Let me at em!!!! GRRRRR

Brandy,

I am pretty shocked actually that you guys aren't going to have another one after Makenna. You really are a wonderful mom.... and I think great moms should have lots of kids so this world is full of kind caring people and not what it is becoming. I seriously pictured you with four earth kids between you two. I say give it some time after she is here and then start talking about it again. I agree with him getting it done if that's what you guys want.

I don't even know what to say about your parents. I can't believe they would say and do that to you. HOW RUDE! Try not to let it hurt you. You are you...not them. Stand on your own and be proud of the life you have and the family you have created

I can't wait to meet Makeena.... I just wish we lived closer

I'm so pissed off about the way they talked to you I can't even type!!!!

[Alison81]

It's so hard to stand up to parents. The only relationship I have with my parents now is through my DD. They are very judgemental, and think I should think and live just like them, and I don't. They've also butted into things they shouldn't have before, and I don't want people like that in my life. Someone once told me that we put up with things from family that we never would from our friends, and that's true. I'm a lot happier not dealing with them, or having their negative influence on my life.

As for your dilemma, I'd say let him get the big V. When DBF was considering it, we were even thinking of having his sperm frozen before hand. That way, if we changed our minds someday, we'd have options other than reversal, as reversal is expensive and not always effective. It's something to look into. They even offered the sperm freezing at a lower price for the first 3 years if we banked through the same place we had the big V done.

[..Jessica..]

I'm sorry your parents are such giant pooh heads!!

Makenna's birthday -- Make it July 1st, that way she's a Canada Day baby and gets all this free stuff apparently.

As for getting fixed -- I have no opinion of this, it's your decision no matter what we say!





*Don't do it!!!*

[jennntj13]

I am really sorry that you are going through this! That is a very big decision and I think that it is one that you should be 100% positive about before making... if there is any doubt, I would not. This is YOUR life and you should do what you and dh think is best for you both!

Kup and Big

[mamamudd]

So proud of you for standing up for your self, and so sorry your parents are being mean. I pray that heavenly father will soften their hearts and let them have more of an open mind.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so sorry your parents are treating you like that. It's your decision if you want more kids, not theirs. Plus that's crazy that they don't want Mckenna born on their anniversary. Like who cares as long as she's healthy and all?

If you're not 100% sure about no more kids, don't do it. I'd let him get the v done since he agreed or just wait a while on both and see how you feel at a later date.

I think you are an amazing woman and mom and sister! Don't ever think otherwise. We love you girlie!

[Mum2three]

Girls, im so amazed how you all are! your great, and im so glad that i have you here with me. I have read what everyone has posted and ive made up my mind. With careful consideration im not getting my tubes tied. Dwayne and i had a huge talk last night and i broke down and cried. He said Hun no matter what i love you and if you have any hunch that you dont want to do it then dont. Dont let others tell you how to live. this is your body GOD gave it to you not your parents. If he wants you to stop having kids your mind would of said nope im getting the tubes tied. Dwayne said its totally up to me, and what my parents say should reflect on what i really think. He backs me up like no tomorrow. Which im thankful for. cause with out him i think i would of had it done then regretted it later on in life. So im not doing it now, and im glad that i have my appointment tomorrow and im telling my Dr that im not doing it now. I just want to think for myself this time. And if im wrong with the decision thats my fault no one else's. Im just so happy that you all helped me through this, cause i really would of did it. Dwayne said it would be easier for him to get the V done then for me to have it done. so hes going in. We both said that it wont happen right now, but wait till Makenna is 6 months or so. Just so we know shes going to be ok. Whew it feels good to think for myself. I really cant stand my parents. They want everything to themselves and never think about others. I know they are my parents, but to me they arent so much of parents. they just really hit that button. I even told Dwayne that we could have his little army frozen so that if later on in life we do want another baby the option is there still. so he wont have to have his procedure reversed. He kinda likes that idea. So thats something we are looking in to.

Girls you all made me feel better about it all. Im just glad i can count on you when i need a group of friends.
I love you all!!!!

[madmum_sarah]

aww brandy im so pleased to hear from you. you sound so much happier and more positive today
im glad dwayne is supporting you in this and the freezing seems like a great idea
i just wanted to give you a huge and say im proud of you hun
xxxx

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so proud of you, too. You sound so much better. I'm glad you decided not to go through with it. Tell Dwayne he is awesome, too!!! I love ya girlie! I'm here whenever you need me, don't forget that. Can't wait for the dr appt update, too.