Log In Sign Up

I just isn't fair


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Trying to Conceive after Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 9th, 2008, 07:36 AM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southern Iowa
Posts: 23,408
Send a message via Yahoo to MountainMomma
I retested yesterday right before work. DH was so surprised by the lines on the other test that he made me test again with another digi. I wish I hadn't.

Last night at work I started cramping pretty bad. The got worse quickly, and then I started bleeding bright red and passing really big clots. The cramping was really bad at one point so I ran to the bathroom, and the one of the clots was so big I could feel it pass through my cervix. I knew then that it was over. When I came out my boss could see that I'd been crying. She asked me if I was ok so I took her aside and told her what was going on. Instead of sending me home she told me to take a 5 minute break and then get busy. When my five minutes was up she told me, "It's not like the world is ending. You already have two kids. Just be happy with what you do have and stop being so selfish!" I wanted to scream. I finished the shift, but I honestly don't know if I'll ever go back. I'm not scheduled again until Thursday, so I have a few days to decide.

I just wish I knew why this keeps happening to us. 4 losses in 2 years. I don't know it I can handle another one, but I know I can't stop trying. I want a baby to much. I don't know if I'll be around much today. Physically I'm doing okay. The cramping is pretty much non-existent and the bleeding it basically back to a normal flow level. mentally though.....I don't know....I might just curl up in a ball and ignore the world for a day or two.

Here's the test from yesterday afternoon. I really wish I hadn't taken it.
__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my new siggy!


Click on my blinkies to tour some of my favorite boards!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
June 9th, 2008, 07:47 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
Send a message via AIM to esparando para bebé Send a message via Yahoo to esparando para bebé
Wow, sweetie. I'm so sorry for you losses. I know from experience, nothing I can say will help. (Though I wish it would.)

As for your boss, that was totally uncalled for. I definitely wouldn't have kept my cool. And I would NOT have finished the shift. I don't typically have much of a temper, so it surprises people when I lose it, but boy would they have seen it!
__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
June 9th, 2008, 07:50 AM
madmum_sarah's Avatar formally sarah_the_sane_1
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 15,004
oh hunny
this is precisely why i cant bring myself to test again!
im so sorry for your loss
xxx
__________________



Friends are the family you choose yourself and I love my JM sisters!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 9th, 2008, 08:23 AM
Danielley08's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3,594


I'm so sorry and I would definately be finding me a new job if I were you...
__________________


(Boys' birthdays are backwards...lol)
~Thank you to claire1979 for my siggy~
Reply With Quote
  #5  
June 9th, 2008, 08:38 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
Stephanie.... awww hon

Don't wish you hadn't taken it. You KNEW you were pregnant. I think sometimes it is better knowing than thinking you are imagining it. KWIM? Heck I knew it and I have never even met you.

I would go into the ER just to make sure everything is okay. I know it's a bit of a ways for you (right?) but I think it might be worth it to make sure it really is over. I hate false hope, but maybe you are still okay? I know I am grasping at straws here but I don't want this to happen to you again. I want you prgenant with a sticky bean sooo freakin' bad.

I will be praying for you girl.... love ya lots

and again cause this just SUCKS!
__________________
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20)
step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. She was our 8th loss Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

Reply With Quote
  #6  
June 9th, 2008, 08:45 AM
katiegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Indpls
Posts: 2,517
I am so sorry that you are going through this again.

As for your boss - that makes me want to just punch her in the face.
What a JERK!!
__________________
~Katie~

Reply With Quote
  #7  
June 9th, 2008, 08:57 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Oh honey, I'm in tears for you. I'm so sorry. This sucks so BAD! I wish I could tell you what's going on.


As for your boss, that was completely heartless. 5 minutes???? ALL she gives you is 5 minutes???? Sometimes I think women can just be so mean. You have every right to be hurt by that. I'm sure you ARE grateful for the two you have. I'm sure you love them more than anything. But those two don't "make up" for your for angels. While they give you something to live for, they don't stop the hurt.


We love you honey. And I know that I'm praying for you.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #8  
June 9th, 2008, 08:58 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: MA
Posts: 15,169
So sorry to hear what you went through. I can't believe your boss though, that's the last thing you want to hear at that time.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 9th, 2008, 09:05 AM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,064
Oh Hon I am soooo sorry that you are going through all this As for your boss I would have blown my lid. Is there anyone higher up then her that you can tell what she said to you. That should not be allowed to happen to anyone. I hope that you feel better soon as best as can be expected and we are all here for you.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #10  
June 9th, 2008, 09:11 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
Oh, I'm so sorry, not again ...I know that I can't say anything that will make you fell better but I agree with Bobbie about going to the ER and make sure it's really over, I pretty sure it's easier said than done. I'm sorry about your boss, what a Bi*** (sorry don't mean to offend anybody), 5 min???????? She sounds very bitter.

We are here for you.
__________________
Patty











Reply With Quote
  #11  
June 9th, 2008, 09:12 AM
Wee3monkeys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 3,352
Aw, woman, that sucks!!!!! I'm so sorry!!!!! !!!!!!

I wish I could do or say something to help you through this, but I know it's just not possible at the moment. Know that I'm here, with all the other ladies, if you need anything!

As for that boss, I say make a complaint for her inappropriate behavior! If it was a medical emergency, you should have been sent home!! Without questions!!!! What a cold hearted b***ch!!!

Big , I'm so very sorry for your losses!!!
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #12  
June 9th, 2008, 09:15 AM
Eleysia's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bremerton, Wa
Posts: 4,400
Stephanie im so sorry. I wish i could take this for you i really do. if you need anything im here, as are all of the pther ladies here. We all love you and im so sad to see this happening again to such a wonderful woman.

I dont have any words for your boss. I am just shocked that someone could be so heartless at a time of being needed. I know if it were me i would go back, but only for thursday and let her know how incredibly hurtful she was, then id make a grand exit and tell her to shove it.


Im here if you need anything, even if it is just someone to listen
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #13  
June 9th, 2008, 11:50 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
I'm so sorry Steph. I wish I could say or do something to take away your pain. I agree with Bobbie about going to the dr though. Please let us know if you need anything at all. We love you. I can't believe that woman said that to you. That was very uncalled for. I would definitely report her and not go back!!
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #14  
June 9th, 2008, 12:16 PM
..Jessica..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,084
OMG Steph!!! I'm so sorry!!!

Life just isn't fair at all!!!! What your boss said is absolutely disgusting and you should definitely report her!!!

I'm so so sorry hun!!!!!

__________________


Reply With Quote
  #15  
June 9th, 2008, 12:55 PM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,070
I am so sorry about your little bean! I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but we all know that there is nothing we can really say.

As for your boss.... I am a manager myself. I manage a department that works 24x7 and has very high performance requirements. I understand the need to have people working, HOWEVER, there is NO EXCUSE for the way she treated you. I have had situations come up that required my compassion in the middle of a "rush". I give my employees as much compassion as I can and there have been times when I have sent people home and worked the rest of their shift for them so they can get through whatever experience they are enduring. My jaw was on the floor as I read your post. It is so sad how many people in management need sensitivity training. I don't think I could go back to work there (although it would depend on how much I needed a job -- at worst, I would be looking elsewhere to move as quickly as possible). I would, however, make sure that the company knows exactly why you are leaving. If it is a big company, Human Resources would be the place to start. You will probably get a more favorable response (one that will bring about change) if you talk calmly about the situation and explain how it made you feel. Good luck dealing with this insensitivity. You don't deserve to be treated this way!
__________________
Sacha






Reply With Quote
  #16  
June 9th, 2008, 12:57 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 6,164
I'm so sorry hun I will keep you and your bean in my t&p's. I agree with Bobbie, you should go to the ER to see whats going on hun.
__________________



Thank you Stephanne (Samuelsmommy) for my beautiful siggy!!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
June 9th, 2008, 01:27 PM
.x~KAT~x.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bristol, England, UK
Posts: 7,175
Send a message via MSN to .x~KAT~x.
oh honey i am so so so sorry...TTC is so heartbreaking sometimes, i really hope that you can find the strength to try again, because im sure your sticky bean will happen soon xxx
__________________
Katt and Brett, with DS Tommy born July 4th 2005, DD Amber born Aug 19th 2009 and 4 baby angels
Reply With Quote
  #18  
June 9th, 2008, 01:31 PM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southern Iowa
Posts: 23,408
Send a message via Yahoo to MountainMomma
Thank you for all your kind words ladies. It means alot to me. No one IRL understands what I am going through. If I told my mom about this she would say it was just another sign that I'm not supposed to have any more. My MIL and SIL (as much as I love them) would give me the typical "It just wasn't meant to be" or "It's nature's way of only giving us healthy babies" type thing. I'm just grateful that the two I have are older. I gave them breakfast and went back to bed. I didn't get up until just now. They've been playing quietly, watching TV and even remembered to take the dog out.

Bobbie, I am seriously considering going to the hospital when DH gets home in a few more hours. There is a hospital here in town....but they aren't much more than a bandaid stop. They don't have a L&D unit, a surgical unit, an ICU or Cardiac unit. They have.....well, basically just the ER and then send you on to another hospital once you are stable. I might have DH take me there and see if there is anything they can do to check on things. If we end up going to the other hospital I'll have to find someone to watch the kids first. We'll see how things are going when DH gets home.
__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my new siggy!


Click on my blinkies to tour some of my favorite boards!
Reply With Quote
  #19  
June 9th, 2008, 01:38 PM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ~*West Coast of BC Canada*~
Posts: 4,498
oh no Steph, I am SO sorry

xoxoxox
Syleena
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #20  
June 9th, 2008, 01:42 PM
jenn27's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: McGehee, Arkansas
Posts: 2,672
I'm so sorry Steph. I can only imagine a little bit of the pain that you are going through. I just miscarried last week and i have been devestated. I know there is nothing i can say to make it any better and I am not going to try. I just want you to know I am thinking about you and you are in my prayers.
__________________




Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:27 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0