[ShannonMVT]

I went into my family doctor yesterday to get her to check out this rash that's been on my areola for about a month. They are sending me on to a dermatologist who may want to do a biopsy. They said it's probably not breast cancer, but they have to rule out Paget's disease (a type of breast cancer), which starts out as as a rash on the nipple/areola.

I'm so scared that's what it is and I can't find info about anything else that would look like this and just affect one side.

I know it's not pregnancy related because it's been there for a month, I just tested and got a BFN yesterday.

Please pray that it is nothing. I got lucky with an early appointment and I'm going to the dermatologist on Tuesday.

So now I don't know what will be happening with the Clomid next cycle, it all depends on what the dermatologist thinks it is. I'm so stressed about that too, about the money it will cost, about how I don't even know that it will help since I already ovulate on my own. Dh thinks our chances are pretty bad at this point, already having a miscarriage and then not being able to get pregnant again. He thinks I need to "face reality" that it probably won't ever happen for us.

We got into a huge fight last night with me absolutely losing it and screaming as loud as I could at him because he doesn't want to have to console me and tell me that's it's going to be okay, because he really doesn't think it's going to be and he "won't lie to me". The sad thing is, I do see his point in a way. I'm so tired of thinking "this might be the month" and then it's not, over and over.

I feel like I am breaking. I feel God has ABSOLUTELY given me more than I can handle right now. I am in tears right now again. Everything just keeps getting worse.

I'm sorry I'm not around here much right now, I'm just not in good place.

[Pitridge]

oh Shannon, I wish I lived closer to you so that I could go and give you a big hug. I'm sorry that things are not working out for you guys right now. I hope that the rash, it's just a rash and nothing else. I'll be praying for you.

As for the rest, I know that he might have a point, but it's not the end of the road. The doctor's haven't said that it's the end of the road, right? I'm so sorry this is happening, I'm in tears with you. I wish I hads the words that will make everything better, but all I have it's my support and that I'm here for you if you need someone to talk or scream at, whatever you need, I'm here...
We love you girl.

[madmum_sarah]

oh shannon sweetheart
i really hope you get the all clear soon. i had a rash there for ages but it turned out just to be some underlying infection
lets hope its something simple hun
miss you
xxx

[katiegirl]

Oh Shannon, your pain is making my heart ache.
There is really nothing I can say to help with the frustation and multiple let downs you have encountered recently.
I pray that the dermatologist has positive news.

Please remember it is always darkest before the dawn.
The dawn is right around the corner for you.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Oh Shannon! I'm sorry you're going through all this. I wish I could take it away. I hope the rash is nothing serious. As for the other, I understand. I thought it wouldn't happen for me again...but it did. It will happen for you, I just know it. I'm sorry dh isn't being very supportive. I hope it works out for you soon. I'm here if you need me. I miss you!

[Brittanie]

Oh how scary! Like everyone else, I'm really hoping your rash is JUST a rash, and that it can be treated easily!


As for the rest, I'm in tears for you. I'm sorry that it hasn't happened yet. I'm so sorry. I have SO been in the emotional place that you're at (different circumstances, same "it's all too much" feeling). Things have a way of working themselves out in a way and at a time you'd never expect. When you're hanging on with all you have , and you're slipping, and falling seems inevitable, you find the strength to hang on just a second longer and someone grabs your hand and lifts you. I wish I could tell you when and how.

[kellyanne]

Oh Shannon I wish that I could be there and give you a shoulder to lean on! I'm sure that all of us on here feel that way. I think sometimes God does give us too much to handle.......on our own. Is there someone you can talk to in person? I know it would normally be DH but it kind of sounds like your DH might be having issues dealing with his own emotional turmoil (which is pretty understandable). Just take things one step at a time and even though I know that you are an incredibly strong woman, don't be afraid to ask for help. I wish there was more I could do or say, but I'll be praying for you!

[Melanie0507]

The other ladies have all said it perfectly Shannon. I am keeping you in my prayers...I hope the rash is just that and nothing more. And I wish nothing in the world more than a BFP for you right now--you deserve it sooooooo much!

[LifeToTheMax]

I hope the rash is nothing but a rash. I have no advice to offer you, but I can, and will, keep you in my prayers.

[dojodiva]

Shannon, many hugs and prayers being sent your way. ((HUGS))

[jennntj13]

I really hope that everything turns out ok... I will for sure keep you in my t & p and make sure you KUP!

[KDD]

I will be thinking of you all weekend! I hope that the rash is something minor. I once had a rash all over my belly, it was there for days, the Dr even thought it might be the measles. It turns out that it came from my skin cream! We are programmed to think the worst, but I always expect the best.

We are here if you need us!

[tparum]

T&P comeing ur way please kup

[Pound]

i hope it's nothing, don't stress too much til you find out. although i can see why your hubby is saying all that right now, i think that honesty might not be the best policy. not that he should lie to you, but you wouldn't tell someone who actually had breast cancer something negative right? same w/ this. instead of giving you a speech about reality, he should just support you and tactfully suggest alternatives. i've learned that when dealing w/ men, they respond better to calm and rational, rather than emotional. it's like they don't know how to handle the emotion, so they say the wrong thing and then we get mad. so maybe you can try talking to him when you're a little calmer, or explain to him that although you realize that things may not work out in the ttc dept, now is not the time to fight about it. you have enough to worry about.
i hope it goes ok, and let us know.

[Chatterbox]

Jumping in to say I sent you a PM.

[Mum2three]

Shannon, im so sorry that this is happening to you! I really hope its just a rash and nothing more. you are in my thoughts and prayers sweetie. I will be thinking about you till i hear the results. Take some time for yourself. We miss you around here....

[Nicole1022]

Big hugs Shannon. I hope Tuesday comes quick and it turns out to only be a rash.

You've only just began the Clomid. Don't give up hope.

[krysia]

I hope it is something minor. I have had a breast cancer scare, a lump that turned out to be a cyst, and I know the waiting and not knowing is horrible. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[mommy jenn]

oh hun!! i know what you mean about God giving you more than you can handle, thats how i feel right now too. Luv, i will pray for you! hopefully God is not intending this pain, he might be trying to show you something early.

GOD PLEASE BE WITH HER DURING THIS TIME. HEAR HER PRAYERS.

[BabyBird]

Shannon I am so sorry. Hopefully the rash turns out to be something easy to treat. I know the not knowing is scary though. Please update us after your appt tomorrow.