I feel like a horrible person

mom2kaisnkam · #1 June 27th, 2008, 05:01 PM

My 18 yr old un-married sister in law is pregnant. She is due August 17. When I had my miscarriage I really had a hard time facing her again. It actually took about a week before I could talk to her. She does not take care of herself, does not eat right, drinks dark colas all the time, misses vitamins and never ever exercised. Well now she is in the hospital. She is 32 weeks pregnant and facing toxemia. I was so jealous that she still had her baby and I did not and now she is going through heck. She has to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks until they can take the baby. I feel horrible for how I felt toward her when I miscarried my baby.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

jennntj13 · #2 June 27th, 2008, 05:16 PM

I think that your reaction to her being pg is completely normal after having a m/c. I, in no way, shape, or form, think that you are a horrible person. I think every one of us goes through some form of jealously of people around us (Not in here, but outside) being pg and thinking "that should be me".

I think it is understandable and that you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Use this experience to help her through what she is going through now, if you can.

Big

kellyanne · #3 June 27th, 2008, 05:20 PM

I think your reaction is probably the same one that most of us would have. It sounds like you handled it well too....by keeping your distance until you could control your emotions around her. Life isn't fair, but it does have a funny way of showing us how we all have our own hardships to face. Do what you can to be supportive now, but don't feel guilty about looking out for your own feelings.

princesskate · #4 June 27th, 2008, 05:55 PM

I havne nothing to add to what the other ladies have already said. Just wanted to send you

Jessica! · #5 June 27th, 2008, 06:03 PM

You're not a horrible person. Anger is something women go through after a miscarriage. It's completely normal. My cousin, who is unwed, is having twin boys. Her due date is a couple of days after mine. The father of the boys is in jail. She's a complete mess and thinks that her $7.50/hr is going to pay for her and her babies...

It still angers me to this day that people like that can have babies, but us married/long term relationship women have such a hard time.

Danielley08 · #6 June 27th, 2008, 06:30 PM

You aren't a horrible person...just a true human being with feelings...

Just try and be strong for her now...she will need all the strength she get in the next few weeks...

Melanie0507 · #7 June 27th, 2008, 07:05 PM

all the ladies above!

mom2kaisnkam · #8 June 27th, 2008, 07:42 PM

Thanks so much everyone.

mom2kaisnkam · #9 June 27th, 2008, 07:50 PM

Quote:

You're not a horrible person. Anger is something women go through after a miscarriage. It's completely normal. My cousin, who is unwed, is having twin boys. Her due date is a couple of days after mine. The father of the boys is in jail. She's a complete mess and thinks that her $7.50/hr is going to pay for her and her babies...

It still angers me to this day that people like that can have babies, but us married/long term relationship women have such a hard time.[/b]

I know I get so angry also. I was at the Dr. 2 weeks ago to confirm my miscarriage and there was a girl outside maybe 19, with 1 child and pregnant. Holding her little boy in her arms and her baby in her tummy, she lit up a cigarette and smoked at least 2 while I was there.

My husband has a cousin who is 17 and pregnant and she smokes like a steam engine. I makes me so mad when they don't take care of themselves and the precious little person they are carrying. Here we are wanting to take care of ourselves and a baby and having so much trouble.

UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH