Any advice please

ANGWife · #1 July 2nd, 2008, 03:52 AM

Wanted to introduce myself. I'm Morgan, 23 (24 on Friday), and DH is Ed, 23.

Exactly one week after we found out I was pregnant with our first, it's all gone. After some heavy spotting/bleeding, I got my call yesterday afternoon. Said my hormone levels the FIRST day they took blood weren't even @ 5, which means I lost the baby Sat and Sun. They said I was pre-viable, which means I had a freak miscarriage. I'm so terrified that my body will continue to miscarry. Doctor says I should be thankful I concieved. Right now, it's hard to be thankful for anything.

I guess I'm dealing with this like any loss. I'm so torn. Part of me doesn't want to cry and get depressed because I cannot bring our baby back or fix the situation. I feel like the only thing that will help greive and stop my anxieties, is to concieve again. Doctor says I should wait 3-4 months. What to expect says 2-3 months. I know I have to give my body time to repair. This will just be another difficult wait.

How long did you girls who suffered a miscarriage wait until you TTC again?

madmum_sarah · #2 July 2nd, 2008, 04:13 AM

hello and welcome.
first of all let me say im so sorry for you loss.

what you are feeling it perfectly normal. doctors and internet advice is nearly always different which really doesnt help with how we feel about things.
i have now had 2 losses in 5 months, within 2 days of finding out. it is hard, very hard but somehow we get through it.
you are defo not alone in feeling the only way to heal is to conceive again. i and im sure many others have felt/feel the same way.
i wasnt told to wait at all but after getting a bfp yesterday and a bfn today so expecting the worst have now been told to go back on birth control until november. i know how hard the waiting is going to be but im trying to think positive and think of my own mind and that of my family. waiting will give me time to get my emotional strength back as well as time for my body to repair itself.

the girls here are wonderful and full of great advise and support. please stick around as there are many girls on a wait at the moment and im sure will have a lot of support and advise for you.
best of luck
xx

*Bobbie* · #3 July 2nd, 2008, 05:19 AM

Hi and

With a very early loss I would think waiting until after the first AF should be good.

Even with my 14w they only told me I had to wait one cycle. Emotionally I was ready for sure. I just wanted to keep trying, cause eventually it's got to work

I am sooo sorry you lost your baby.

britneyt · #4 July 2nd, 2008, 05:32 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss

I too, think that with it being so early, you would be safe to wait until after your first full cycle to TTC again.
I waited 3 months, but I had an ectopic pregnancy that ended in surgery. so my situation was a little different.

It is normal to feel the way you feel hun - you are not alone. Every girl on this board knows your pain. It is okay to cry. In fact, it is very normal and healthy to cry and release your pain.
You will get your sticky bean soon, just hang in there!

Eleysia · #5 July 2nd, 2008, 10:10 AM

Im so sorry about your loss. There is hope, and im sure that you will go on to have a healthy baby.

For me i had one loss at 5w 5d, and then the next was like 8w or so, and that one ended in a D&C. I also only waited one cycle after my first loss, and i agree that you should be absolutly ok in doing the same. I hope that physically and mentally you have a speedy recovery, and please remember... even though crying and grieving wont bring back your baby, it will grant you some sanity

mom2kaisnkam · #6 July 2nd, 2008, 10:56 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage June 3 and my doctor says I need to wait one full cycle. I just got AF yesterday, but he wants me to wait until I get one more. I want to start now, but I am afraid to go against his orders.

I do know women who had a miscarriage one month and go pregnant the next month.

Pitridge · #7 July 2nd, 2008, 11:17 AM

First, I'm sorry for your lost, and welcome.

My lost was at 8w5d (also my first) and I had to wait two cycles before trying, so I agree with the rest of the ladies about waiting after your first full cycle. The ladoes here are wondeful and they all understand the pain you are in, we all been there and we know how it is. You have come to the right place

karag · #8 July 2nd, 2008, 11:49 AM

Hello. I posted to your post in the DDC but wanted to come in here to write to you.

I lost my last pregnancy at 11 weeks. It was the hardest thing I had ever been through. And a year prior to that I had cancer and I swear the loss of the baby was much harder to deal with.

I wrote in my last post that I know how you feel with having SIl due around the same time. My sister and I had the EXACT due date and it was so hard knowing that every time I looked at her little girl I would know that mine should be that way. But with time I've realized that my baby is in a better place and 'she' wasn't well and have learned to deal with it.

We started trying within a couple months but we were pushed back a couple months because I was so far along they had to do another Hysteroscopy to clean me out. But after that it took about 5 months.
We even tried meds/iui for 4 months and then gave up. The next month we conceived. It was all in God's time.

We here have all went through what you went through and this is a great group of girls.

PM me if you need.

oh and after a sit down with my doctor they said that preferably they like you to wait to heal but if you do get pregnant there wouldn't be anything wrong with it. If you conceive you were well enough to do so.
She was really cool about it.
Do what you and your hubby feel is right.

Bakin8th · #9 July 2nd, 2008, 03:38 PM

Welcome I am so sorry for your loss

I was told to wait one cycle even after 2 losses at 17w pg with D&c's after for hemeraging.

My first loss at 17w with hemeraging/D&C and blood transfusion.

I waited till first af and it showed up 7w later. I got pg and his pg was fine and he is healthy baby boy.

Good luck!!!

ANGWife · #10 July 2nd, 2008, 05:02 PM

Thank you everyone for your kind words. They are very encouraging. I don't know anyone IRL that has ever had a m/c and I'm glad to have your opinions and stories.

I have a sit down with my doctor tomorrow to discuss all my questions and concerns. I'm going to ask about the whole waiting thing and what to expect next. I'm still bleeding alittle, so I suppose next is to wait for AF...?

KDD · #11 July 2nd, 2008, 05:56 PM

Welcome. I am sorry for your loss.

I lost mine @ 9w6d. My doctor said to wait one cycle before TTC again. My acupuncturist (who was a medical Dr. in China) said to wait 6 months! I don't think so! I'm at the end of my second cycle TTC waiting for AF so we can start on cycle 3.

Feel free to ask anything.

Good luck!

Melanie0507 · #12 July 2nd, 2008, 06:16 PM

Hi Morgan

I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad you found this group...it is a great group of women!

As far as the amount of time, I had my m/c and D&C at 9 weeks and my doctor only asked me to wait 1 cycle (which, yes, does mean stop bleeding after your m/c and then bleed again with AF, then start TTC again!)

I look forward to getting to know you!

akafrogs · #13 July 2nd, 2008, 06:54 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.

I had a miscarriage in March, I got a positive home pregnancy test on 10 DPO, 11 DPO, but when I checked again on the 13 day, it was lighter and gone on the 14 day. I started bleeding 16 DPO. So it was 4W 2D. My doctor told me that I could start TTC right away. It was such an early loss that if I hadn't tested early (I tested because I knew I was pregnant), I would have never even known I was pregnant.

I'm sure there would be nothing wrong w/ TTC again right away, You were only four days after me. You just may need some time to heal emotionally.

I hope you BFP comes quick.