I am not going to be able to do it!!!!

mom2kaisnkam · #1 July 5th, 2008, 08:54 PM

For anyone who does not already know, I found out I was pregnant on May 25. we were in total shock but so excited to add another member to our family. Then on June 3, my husband took me to my Dr. appointment to find that I was having a miscarriage. I know you all know how I felt, but I lost a part of who I am that day.

Five days after the miscarriage started my HCG levels were already at 0. My Dr. said my miscarriage is complete and everything is fine with my uterus, cervix, blood tests and everything else he done on Monday 6/30. He said I needed to have a least 1 AF but he prefers that I have 2.

Well AF arrived the very next day 7/1 in full force. It was the worst ever, even worse than the actual miscarriage.

I am so ready to start TTC. It is driving me crazy knowing that in a few days I will probably ovulate and my Dr. does not want met to TTC until next month. I should O around the 14th or 15th and on the 15th it will be exactly 6 weeks since my miscarriage. Is that enough time? I want to TTC so bad. I just feel like I need to try NOW. I keep praying for God to direct me and to take control of the situation, to not let me make the wrong decision. But right now I am so confused. I want to try but I don't want to risk another miscarriage.

And to top it off my sister in law gave birth on the one month anniversary of my miscarriage. And she just sent me an email filled with pics of him. He was a premie and is doing amazing. I am so happy for her but it just makes my desire to try that much stronger.

I just don't think I can wait! Someone talk me down off this cliff because I am about to JUMP.

I am sorry get so long, but I just need someone to talk to. Everyone here tells me so many things. My husbands cousin miscarried in January and was pregnant in February. She says go for it. Others tell me to wait. Others tell me to trust God. My question is trust him not to TTC or trust him and TTC. UGGGHHH!!! I wish God would just call me up and say hey go ahead and TTC it is going to be alright.

KDD · #2 July 5th, 2008, 09:23 PM

Nette, I am so sorry to hear about this.

I'm in no way an expert, but I would say to do what feels right for you. You can ask 10 doctors and get 10 different answers. My GP said to wait 1 cycle, my acupuncturist (who was a GP in China) said to wait at least 6 months. I was ready ASAP.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

mom2kaisnkam · #3 July 5th, 2008, 09:38 PM

Thank you Kimberley. How long did you wait before you started TTC again?

Melanie0507 · #4 July 6th, 2008, 07:23 AM

I definitely understand your confusion! I had a missed m/c and then D&C in November and my doctor only suggested I wait 1 cycle before TTC again. That was hard enough for me (I even asked at my 2 week check-up after my D&C if I could go ahead and TTC right away, but he explained that it was best to wait 1 cycle).

I also believe that if it's not meant to be, then it won't happen. I don't think your body will allow you to get pregnant before you are ready again.

Ultimately, you have to go with what works for you. Like Kimberley said, you could ask 10 different people and get 10 different answers...

Good luck figuring out what's best for you!

BabyBird · #5 July 6th, 2008, 07:59 AM

I agree with the other girls to do what you feel is right for you. After my first D&C my OB told me to wait two full cycles but she also said that she wouldn't shoot me if I showed up the next month pg. After my second which was a natural m/c she said to wait two again and I asked why and she said there is no real reason why other than "it just seems right to wait so that you can heal." She also told me that there is no evidence that getting pg immediately after a m/c will increase your chances of another. I did have another but we didn't get pg until 4 months after and it had nothing to do with TTC right away. I know how hard it is to prevent when you want it so badly. I think you have waited one cycle already and if you feel ready then you know your body better than your Dr does.

cyclura · #6 July 6th, 2008, 10:31 AM

my doctor said to wait one week after the bleeding stopped and then I could start TTC again, so I did. but I am no doctor this is only what I was told by mine.

do whatever is right for you if you feel ready go for it, if not then wait. Im sorry for your loss and wish you all the luck in the world when you decide to try again

mom2kaisnkam · #7 July 6th, 2008, 11:32 AM

Thank you all so much. I am really praying hard for God's guidance. But I too believe, if it is not meant to be then it will not be. Thanks again for all your wisdom and kind words.

..Jessica.. · #8 July 6th, 2008, 11:48 AM

I agree 100% with the other ladies!

Do what's best for YOU! Nobody else!!! It's your body, and if you want it, go for it!!!

and for you for this cycle!!!

HippyMomOf4 · #9 July 6th, 2008, 11:56 AM

My dr said to wait 1 cycle and then try again, she said it was pretty much for dating reasons. After my m/c we tried again right away. Good luck on whatever you decide to do. Sorry for your loss!

~DaemonMykailasMum~ · #10 July 6th, 2008, 12:29 PM

Hey girl, Im in the same situation, Almost.. I had a D&C on May 8th, and was told to wait for 2 AFs.... I got my first af on June 14th... I gota BLARING positive opk on July 2nd.. I wasnt supposed to try, but I BD'd any way.. Im jus praying that if I DID catch the eggie, that it will be sticky! with no SCH's! If I didnt catch it, then I wont be upset cuz I was supposed to wait another cycle any way.. I say do what feels right, If you had a natural m/c and your first af was Heavy, I would say your Physically okay to ttc... and you sound emotionally ready also...
Good luck girl!
xoxox
Syleena

Mommy2Makenna · #11 July 6th, 2008, 02:19 PM

It sounds like the other ladies covered it. It is up to you, but I have one thing to add... If you tried again, and you got pregnant, and you ended up m/c again, would you be able to get through it (it would be hard no matter how many times it happened) without blaming yourself. If the answer to that question is yes, then I say go for it. If it is no, then you might want to wait. I hope this doesn't come across as cold -- I'm just trying to give you more details to think about to make your decision. If you are prepared for the worst (which we all pray never happens again) then you can proceed with the faith only the best will result. I hope I'm making sense.... It sounds a lot better in my head than on paper.

Hang in their girl! We are all here for you!

#12 July 6th, 2008, 02:59 PM

I agree with Sacha about the "what if" part.....but that being said, I asked my doctor why we had to wait two cycles and she said it's for healing emotionally more than anything. If you're body is able to get pregnant, it will, and I don't think getting pg close to a m/c would make a difference one way or another on the new pregnancy. As long as your doc says you're all healed.

Good luck honey, I really feel for you. Just putting my two cents in.

NeeshBoogie · #13 July 6th, 2008, 04:05 PM

I agree with so many of the things that were said in here that a "co-sign" wouldn't even begin to cover it.

I believe asking 10 different doctors will definitely get you 10 different answers.
I also believe your body simply will not get pregnant before it is ready to do so.

With my first m/c, I mixed the doctor's advice (wait 3 months before trying again) with that of my mother (try again as soon as the bleeding stops) and ended up getting pregnant after my first cycle.

After this most recent m/c I plan to do exactly what I would advise you to do -- I'm going to listen to my body and my heart and do whatever those tell me to do...even if they're giving me mixed messages.

It doesn't feel like it now, but when it's time you'll know exactly what to do.

mom2kaisnkam · #14 July 7th, 2008, 01:04 PM

I just wanted to say Thank you all for everything. I am going to at least try this month. If I don't get pregnant then I don't. If I do, I trust God to make it a great pregnancy. And I WILL have a healthy baby!

cyclura · #15 July 7th, 2008, 01:15 PM

sending you loads of baby dust, I hope this will be your month

mom 2 haley & tyler · #16 July 7th, 2008, 01:16 PM

I say go with your heart. I hope you get a sticky bean right away. G/L We are all here for you. I know this journey is very hard.

Eleysia · #17 July 7th, 2008, 01:30 PM

K so i stopped about half way down the page reading responses lol. Here is my 2 cents. If you TTC immediatly, and youre not rdy to be pg, trust me... you wont get pg. i tried like hell after my m/c for that first month with no luck. then that next month (2nd one) i did get pg. if youre mentally healed, then when your body is ready you will know hun. Best of luck, stay strong.