[MountainMomma]

....has been driving me insane! So I decided I could take an OPK and at least there would be a second line. (I didn't want to face a BFN.) Plus, if the OPK was looking near positive I could get excited about possibly getting a BFP in a few days when I do test.

That all works in theory except that when I did it the OPK doesn't even show the hint of a second line. Now I'm wondering if I even ovulated this time. I hate all the stress and confusion that comes with TTC. Why couldn't I be one of those people who doesn't have to try? Just decide to have a baby, quit taking BC and bam, you're pregnant. It just isn't freaking fair!!!

I'm sorry to vent like this, but today just sucks.

[Mommy2Makenna]

I'm sorry sweetie! It's just so not fair how some days are just so aweful because we ache for a baby so bad. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I can't give you any advice about OPKs and such (I'm still learning myself). Just try to stay positive (without obsessing) -- I know, easier said than done. Good luck, when the time comes to really test.

[amy2008]

I totally know what you mean. My brother can get my SIL pregnant if he sneezes when she is ovulating. Which is fantastic for them (and me, indirectly) as they produce the most amazing kids I have ever encountered.

But I work with a girl who smokes, doesn't ingest anything other than caffeine, nicotine or sugar and she is pregnant with twins after just giving birth last August. AND she continues to smoke, drink nothing but coke and eat like crap while pregnant. It blows my mind that someone who takes such poor care of herself can get pregnant so easily and maintain the pregnancy. It completely sucks.

While it breaks my heart to go through this all the time, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Don't apologize about venting....

Just know you're not alone, I keep telling myself good things come to those who wait. At the end of the day, it just isn't fair. I hope you feel better and get a BFP really soon. HUGS

[jennntj13]

I'm sorry! The good news is that the OPK wouldn't show for pregnancy until after hcg goes over 50 or something... so there is still hope. When are you taking a FMU FRER???

[MountainMomma]

Thursday I'll be 10 dpo * I think* I won't test before then. I might wait even longer though. I don't know yet. Depends on how I'm feeling on Thursday. I really expect AF to show before then because my cycles have been 30 - 32 days, and haven't gone over 11 dpo in a LONG time. Some cycles it's been as little as 8 dpo when the witch shows. ( I know that your LP isn't supposed to change, but mine does) The length of my cycle is almost always the same though. Tomorrow is CD 30 so I half expect to wake up to AF.

[jennntj13]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you hun!

[MountainMomma]

Thanks. I really appreciate it. I'm not feeling very hopeful though. I'm starting to cramp now. (but just on one side...so that's weird) I will be expecting AF to show at any time now.