[~Lynda~]

Hi all,

I'm returning from vacation tomorrow. I've had internet connection while on vacation and have logged on a couple times. I have found it very very hard to post though, which totally surprises me, as I was a post-a-holic before. I had a miscarriage and a d&c a week ago and i'm finding myself horribly jealous. before I would call myself envious of pregnant women. but now i've found myself to be down right jealous. i am not liking this feeling either.

i really feel like i need some help to cope with all of this, but i'm not sure what to do. so i thought i'd start with a post to ask how you ladies moved forward after your loss? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, i feel so lost!!!!

thanks all!!!

[KDD]

Lynda I am so sorry to hear about your loss. For me it helped to meet other women who have had losses - it helped me to feel less alone. The more I talked about it, the more I learned about other people's losses. It's sad, but it helped me to see that if they can get through it, so can I.

[~*Nessy*~]

I feel exactly the same way. I really dont think that I will be able to let go of that feeling until I holding a new baby.

I have been reading about "grief" and am understanding that this is a normal emotion.

I hope you have been able to enjoy your vacation. We went to Disney land when I was pregnant and it was the best family trip we've had.

[madmum_sarah]

oh lynda sweetheart
i guess after my first loss it was different. i was active on ttc but i just stopped going on. then i found these wonderful ladies and i felt so at ease posting after the first few times.
as you know, it has taken me a while to get back into the swing of things on ttc but as much as i love the girls there, i feel more at home here, a sense of belonging and being understood.
i still remember my first post here and the replies to it. the one that sticks in my mind is the one that helped me in more ways than just a welcome, it was a message from eleysia, she was so sweet (as were they all) but she suggested starting a ttcal journal (in the stickies).
mine has continued to be full of everything how i feel but its nice to let it all out. i honestly feel you should give it a try, that way, even if you cant bring yourself to post here, we can still know how you are from your journal.

i know how hard all of this is for you sweetheart but please remember, we have all had losses here and will support you as best we can through this heartbreaking time.
love ya girl
xxx

[Augie]

Hi all,

I'm returning from vacation tomorrow. I've had internet connection while on vacation and have logged on a couple times. I have found it very very hard to post though, which totally surprises me, as I was a post-a-holic before. I had a miscarriage and a d&c a week ago and i'm finding myself horribly jealous. before I would call myself envious of pregnant women. but now i've found myself to be down right jealous. i am not liking this feeling either.

i really feel like i need some help to cope with all of this, but i'm not sure what to do. so i thought i'd start with a post to ask how you ladies moved forward after your loss? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, i feel so lost!!!!

thanks all!!![/b]

Linda, sweetie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I, too, was incredibly jealous of pregnant women. It has gotten better with time.

The women here are great. You may also want to check the Pregnancy Loss board. They really helped me a lot.

[IAMommy]

Lynda - I so sorry for your loss. One of the best ways to try and understand your greif is to talk about it. If you feel that people IRL are not listening to you, post on the JM boards your feelings. I think that Sarah has a good point too. Keep a journal. It took me a long time to start one (I am really not much of a writer and was a little hesitant) but my story and those thoughts kept tumbling around in my head. It might not make since to anyone else, but getting it out really helped me.

I hope you have had a good vacation!

[Christine-MA]

Hey Lynda, I just sent you a pm, but I just wanted to let you know I do feel the same. I don't come here as much as I used to, and sometimes it does make me mad. Unfortunately, I have this bad habit or going to my old DDC, and although I love the girls and am happy for them and (semi) enjoy reading their updates, sometimes I get mad at them for having a healthy pregnancy. (Not really mad at them, I'm sure you know what I mean).

[kellyanne]

Lynda,

I'm glad you posted. I'm sure it must help to at least know that every one of us can understand that jealous feeling....and then the subsequent guilt for feeling jealous. I second what Kimberly said, the more I've learned about m/c, the more people I've met (online and IRL) who have experienced it as well. Lots of times you just would never know that someone else has gone through it as well. So when I see a pregnant woman (who I don't know) and feel that jealous twinge I have this mental conversation with myself....I think about how she may have gone though infertility, or m/c, or worse....then I think about how if she hasn't gone through those things, I hope she doesn't have to....then I mentally wish her a healthy and happy pregnancy. It also helps that I have been blessed with a beautiful little girl who makes me so happy, so I also wonder if the pregnancy is the person's first and I mentally hope for that person to experience the joy that I do with my daughter. Anyway, that is the coping mechanism I've developed because I'm the same as you and just really dislike that jealous feeling (even if its normal).

[HippyMomOf4]

I'm so sorry for you loss, my last loss was in Jan and i still feel that way. Not all the time but it does come and go, i really don't think i will be over those feelings until I'm pregnant myself and know things are going to go well. I hope it eases up for you!

[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

I first want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I to felt the way you do when I went through my two losses. It was so very hard for me to see a woman pg and know that she was going to have a baby and I wasnt. I didnt even have anyone IRL that I could talk to because they never really understood where I was coming from and I got tired of hearing "its time to move on or it will happen when you stop stressing so much". The girls here were and are the best support I have ever found in my life. They helped me to understand that what I was going through was normal and there are other woman going through it to that know exactly what I was feeling. It helped getting it out here because then it wasnt just getting bottled up inside. When I got pg with this baby they again helped me through all my fears of having another m/c and I couldnt thank them enough for everything they've done for me. Just know that you have a great group of girls here that listen to everything and are so supportive. Whatever your feeling is normal and it helps having other woman that know what your going through to just listen.

[~Lynda~]

thanks so much for the caring responses!!!! i feel very comforted and cared about here. that helps alot!!!! sarah, i think the journal idea is really a great idea. thanks for the suggestion!!! i do believe what i'm going through is normal but i hate feeling the way i am feeling. i think you all brought up a very good point, whether you meant to or not, but that point being that if i don't post here and talk about things, they will never get better.

you all understand how i feel, and some of you more than others with multiple losses!!!! I too, am sorry for your losses. i've realized that i NEED to be here!!! this will help me heal and move forward!!!! thanks so very much for taking the time to post!!!! you've helped more than you can imagine!!!!

hugs!!!!

[madmum_sarah]

im glad you have decided to continue posting lynda.
it is hard but you are right, it is the best way to move forward.
i found these ladies after my first loss but after the second and 3rd i really dont think i would have got through it alive (im not exagerating either)
please remember we are all here for you hunny and you can pm me anytime you like
xxx

[.x~KAT~x.]

awe, Im sorry your feeling low, its totally understandable x

I hope you hang around, the ladies here are brill and so suportive xx

[..Jessica..]

I'm sad to see you back here Lynda. I am glad though, that you decided to post again. I'm truly sorry for your loss, and I wish nothing BUT sticky dust to you when you begin trying again (whenever that may be).

Welcome back girl, you're more than welcome to vent, cry, laugh, crack jokes, and be YOU on here.

[azura24]

<span style="font-family:Arial Narrow">hey lynda,
its great to hear from ya again. Hope your vacation went well. I agree with all the ladies, posting has helped me and I get in the dumps from time to time seeing everyone with their bellies and working in the labor and delivery section of the hospital not to mention the hospital the is funded mostly through the state so I see a lot of 10 year olds through 50 year olds getting pregnant. I get really upset a lot of times but I just usually write in my journal and I am ok. posting here helps tremendously because I really dont feel alone and if I am upset that day and need to vent I can come on here without any criticism. I hope you feel the same way after your first couple posts. Always know you are welcome here no matter what mood you are in lol.

~Amber~</span>